Reviews For Arda Dreams
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Title: Arwen's Lessons in Sexism Reviewer: Silence is Mithril Signed
I had a dream that I was in a car with one of my friends named Clark. I'm pretty sure it was a red convertible with the top up. There was an elf -- he was blond, so I'm pretty sure it was Legolas -- passed out on the floor of the backseat. Several empty cans of Heinken surrounded the elf, along with a full case on the seat. I distinctly remember it being Heinken -- don't ask why. I told Clark something along the lines of "Elf can't hold his drink." Then I woke up. Weird thing is, I can't drive yet, nor can I drink. And Clark has never read nor watched LotR.
Date: Jan 31 2009 04:47 pm [Report This]
Title: A Fanfic Author's Worst Nightmare Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed
Shucks! I hope I never have a dream like this one. That's truly scary and sad.

Author's Response: It was. I actually thought it was real too when I first woke up; I was so relieved to find out it was a dream.
Date: Jan 31 2009 07:02 am [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: Chaotic Demon Signed
Here's a dream my brother Ohtar had. He was at McDonald's placing an order. Then he found a gold ring lying on the floor. He turned around to give it to the cashier when he saw seven Nazgul coming toward him. He, understandably, started to run and they began to chase him. During his fleeing, he quite literally ran into an Ent, who acted like the stereotypical gay guy. Anyway, he started running again and the Nazgul eventually caught up. The Witch-king pulled a bag out of his cloak and handed it to Ohtar, saying, "You forgot your fries."

Author's Response: That's another good one to put up. Thanks a lot.
Date: Jan 15 2009 10:24 am [Report This]
Title: The Man-Eating Clowns Reviewer: Chaotic Demon Signed
I had another dream last night. I was at this local restuarant called "Chopped," where I ordered a rootbeer float, even though it's not on thair actual menu. Anyway, for some reason, I up and left Chopped and headed to another restaurant. This second one was the stereotypical family restaurant, complete with red-checkered table cloths, overly-peppy waitresses, and really stupid names for their dishes. While I was there, I ordered their equivilent of a rootbeer float (The restaurant's name for it included "Whale" somewhere).

So, after a while, my real life friends show up and we sit together. When the witresses brought out the food, I couldn't help but wonder where my rootbeer float was. However, there wasn't much time to dwell on that, because an evil spirit decided to attack us.

Here's where things get a bit fuzzy for me. Somehow, the sprit managed to tilt the floor so that we were all sliding away, and I have a strange thought of playing on a teeter-totter with my pregnant sister so that I can save her baby. Next thing I know, my companions and I are racing out of the buling, which happens to be Orthanc. Why there was a family restaurant in Orthanc, I'll never know.

Anyway, so then there's some strange battle with the evil spirit, who, it seems, it linked to the palantir. Therefore, someone throws the stone off of the top of Orthanc to meet its doom. However, since this is my dream, It can't be simple. Intead, it bounces off of reflective surface A, lands on thin metal pole G, where it balances for a moment before falling and sliding down shute X, ect. However, it is eventally shattered on the ground. I had a passing, completely inaccurate thought of, "That's exactly how Pippin managed it," before my old high school, which was apparently on the same grounds as Orthanc, caought fire for no other reaseon than to include fire in my dream.

Just as I was about to call my mom to let her know not to send my younger brother to school today because it was most likely going to be cancelled, my mother woke me up.

You know, I never did get either of those rootbeer floats...

Author's Response: Pity. I hope you bought a rootbeer float as soon as you woke up. Anyway, I'm not too surprised Saruman had one of those tacky little family restaurants; those things are evil.
Date: Jan 15 2009 09:56 am [Report This]
Title: The National Geographic LotR Special Reviewer: Chaotic Demon Signed
A couple year ago, I had this dream where I was with Aragorn and Boromr in a random forest. While there, we started talking with an Entwife and her Entling. All of a sudden, we heard drums coming from some obscure point in the forest, and the Entwife cried out, "They're coming! Run!" So, naturally, Aragorn Boromir and I started running. Within a few moment, we were out of the forest and we saw that we were being persued by a horde of evil, man-eating clowns. Unfortunately, our efforts to escape them lead us right into their castle. It was at this point that I realized that the clowns could only see you if you touched them. Typically, it was at this point that Aragorn bumped into a clown milling in the corridor. Quickly he turned into the nearest doorway, followed by Boromir, the clowns, and I.

When I entered the room, I found that it was a public restroom. However, I couldn't find either of my companions. It was about then that I touched a clown. We both gasped, him in glee and me in horror. Suddenly, I saw Boromir, who had yet to be touched, signal towards how Aragorn had escaped; it was a hobbit-sized mouse hole.

Quickly, I jumped on the ground and slid toward it, only to find that there was a back to the hole about three inches in. However, I kept kicking at it, trying desperately to break through. Just as soon as the clowns had gathered around me and pulled a dining table out of the wall (complete with red-checkered table cloth) and started discussing how delicious I would be, I managed to break though the mousehole. It was then that I woke up. Apparently, the hole really was the way to escape those clowns.

Author's Response: That's hilarious. I'm definitely posting this one as soon as possible.
Date: Jan 12 2009 10:14 pm [Report This]
Title: Elijah's Interview Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed
Gandalf bald? I'll bet that was a surprise.

Author's Response: Most likely, but I didn't have the dream.
Date: Dec 28 2008 02:26 pm [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: Shadow Maiden Signed
So, we get to tell you our dreams and you post them? Do I have that right? Because I've had some interesting Lord of the Rings dreams. I'd love to hear back from you.

Author's Response: Yes. You tell them, and I post them.
Date: Sep 18 2008 08:48 am [Report This]
Title: The Crazy Origins of "An Elf's Love" Reviewer: Queen of the Unknown Signed
You know, I really wouldn't have minded reading that "original version". It would have been fun!

Author's Response: It would have been hilarious!
Date: May 16 2008 06:47 pm [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: Queen of the Unknown Signed
Here's a dream a friend of mine had.
Before I start this, let me say yes, I watched all three LotR movies a couple of weeks ago, with my sister (her first time seeing them) and no, I don't think Elijah Wood is handsome (o:

Alright, so... there was some sort of open house thing at this church we used to go to. So we went, and there was a guy playing a double-necked guitar, but it didn't just have two necks, it had two heads. So I was asking him how to play it, and he said he was ambudextrous (sp?) so he could switch the guitar whichever way he liked. He then told me to go find a place to sit, and he'd be by to show me how to play it.

So, I go and sit on the couch, but we're no longer in the church, but at my house, by the window, on the couch. There are still people everywhere, but it seems really normal, and since we're thinking about moving, I think we might have been having an open house. Anyway, I'm sitting there, with my mom, and across from us, on the other couch, is Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortenson and Ian McKellen.... but no one's even noticing them! So I lean over, and start talking to Elijah Wood (who, for some reason was still dressed in character, as were the other two).

"You know," I said. "My sister just finished watching Lord of the Rings for the first time last week."

"Did she like it?"

"Yes." I nod.

He smiles. "Was she impressed with my awesomely good looks?"

That threw me off guard. "Well..." I stammered. "I think her favorite character was Aragorn." And I gesture to Viggo.

He has entirely too much makeup on and looks at me like he's lost, or had just been daydreaming. "Oh." he says in a very small voice.

And then Gandalf takes off his hat, and he's bald.

But then I woke up.
Date: May 16 2008 06:26 pm [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: Aranel Narloth Signed
I really like this idea; now I know I'm not the only Tolkien nut who dreams odd dreams. One dream I had right after I had just finished reading the chapter 'The Steward and the King' in ROTK (which just happens to be the best one in the whole series if you ask me). In this dream, I was sitting next to Boromir on what looked like a puffy white cloud with a silvery-blue pool in the middle of it. I was sitting on the opposite side of Boromir and looking into the pool, through which I could see Faramir and Eowyn on the walltop just before they kissed. Boromir, apparently guessing what his highly romantic little brother was about to do, smacked himself in the forehead and said, "You bloody idiot! If only mother could see you now!" Just after this, Faramir grabbed Eowyn and kissed her, just like it happened in the book (even though they looked like they did in the movies). Boromir buried his face in his hands, muttering to himself unintelligibly, but when I went 'Aaaawww!', or something to that effect, he sat bolt upright and glared at me as if I had suddenly sprouted an extra head. I awoke as he was shaking his head in a mixture of disgust and confusion.

Author's Response: That's a funny dream. Boromir sort of reminds me of a little child who's disgusted watching his parents kiss each other.
Date: May 14 2008 09:52 pm [Report This]
Title: The Mouth of Sauron and a Lousy Jeep Reviewer: Formegil Signed
Thank you for including my dream. This is a very interesting collection of dreams, I wonder what a psychoanalyst would ake of these. To Karlmir: The Black Watches are expensive here too, though very good.

Author's Response: Probably the psychoanalyst would say we were reading too much Tolkien. They're fun to read, though.
Date: May 13 2008 10:47 pm [Report This]
Title: The Mouth of Sauron and a Lousy Jeep Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed
This was quite an interesting dream. I haven't heard anyone talk about Black Watch Coronas since I was in college back in 1967. They were expensive. On my budget, I could only afford one or two a week. It's too bad Formegil woke up before Pippin could buy him one.
Date: May 13 2008 03:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Saving the World Through Stuffed Animals and Piracy Reviewer: Freya Byron Signed
Here's another one I had recently:

I was walking down the street with my Mum when we saw some people selling large paper bags with Frodo's head printed on the sides. It said something like "stay green". A disembodied voice told me that it was a fundraiser sort of thing for the Green Party (a political party in Canada). I pointed it out to my Mum and said jokingly that we could get one. She said no, it would ruin the story to buy stuff like that. I didn't wanr one anyway, because I figured you would look pretty weird walking around wearing a paper bag with frodo's head printed on it. The picture was crappy quality, anyway. My Mum was just saying that my Aunt had bought one for my cousin, when I woke up.
Date: Apr 30 2008 07:34 pm [Report This]
Title: Eldarion and the Tower of Immunoglobin Reviewer: Freya Byron Signed
Dreams always end when you're on your way, somewhere, don't they?

I had this one ages ago, but luckily I hada notebook on my bed, so I wrote it down as soon as I woke up:

Characters: the Fellowship minus Boromir, Eowyn, Will Turner, my Mum, Dad, and I, one of my dogs, and someone named Bob.

I think we were saving the world. There was a battle or something, and Pippin was badly wounded. We went to my house and I tried to heal him. Eowyn turned all of the lights out and put candles on the floor, and I tried to decide which stuffed animal I should bring (I used to have this problem all of the time when I was about six). I went downstairs and saw Aragorn in my living room drawing one of my stuffed animals in a sketchpad. He said something like, "So that I will always remember her." It made sense to me at the time, although I think I did still find it kind of funny. I went back upstaris and tried to heal Pippin some more, and the bad guys started attacking my house with missiles and stuff like that, but the house stayed undamaged. I managed to get Pippin to get up (it seemed to take about 10 minutes) and we went outside and helped the others fight the bad guys. Pippin mysteriously disappeared. Finally all of the bad guys were either dead or had run away, except for one guy who was wounded and lying on the hood of a car. He agreed to join us, so we healed him. Pippin was suddenly better again, so we went on our merry way.
We arrived at my old house, where we all stood around on the front lawn, until the guy (who for argument's sake we'll call Bob) went up to the front door. He told me and Will to come too because we had "expiriance in pirating". He knocked on the door and an old lady opened it. He pointed a finger gun at her and said "Stay calm. We are taking over the ship." The old lady got panicky, so Bob asked if we could have some cookies. The old lady said that she didn't thak that was a good idea, and when Bob asked why, she said she didn't have any (even though we could see some on the table in the background).
We went to the neighbor's and knocked on the door, and my friend answered. I said that we were in the nieghborhood so thought we'd stop by to say hello. She asked who everyone was, so they were introduced. I explained that we were saving the world, andd she asked if she could come to. My Mum piped up that she would have to ask her Mom.
It was getting dark, so Sarah said that we could stay there for the night, so we began to set up tents.
Then I woke up.
Date: Apr 11 2008 08:28 pm [Report This]
Title: Aragorn, Get Your Gun Reviewer: Thredith the fair Signed
That is one creative dream. It actually makes a good one-off.

Anyway, I had this really weird dream a few months back. So here goes nothing:

For some reason, Minas Tirith was situated in a deep valley, surrounded by mountains. Quite like Gondolin actually. Aragorn, in his infinite wisdom, had built a huge glass tower with plenty of long, thin glass tubes, all very prettily carved. On top of that was a structure, which looked like IgM (that’s immunoglobin, an antibody. I must have been overdosing on biology).

I don't remember what happened but somehow, Eldarion was hanging upside-down from one of the spokes of IgM. I was standing in a crowd and watching the spectacle. Maedhros and Maglor were standing beside me and pointing and laughing at Eldarion.

After that, I saw that Elladan and Elrohir were standing near this tower and cursing Eldarion for getting stuck in such situations. Legolas went over and told them that as his uncles, they had to save him. They were disgusted with this proposition but went anyway.

Soon, I found myself inside this tower, which looked like Orthanc from the inside, with Aragorn, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir. They climbed over and saved Eldarion. Then, the tower started breaking. We spent ages arguing inside on how to get out until finally my school's prissiest prefect came and threw us out of the door.

The tower came crashing down after that and we were all giggling and laughing like imbeciles, feeling very proud of ourselves. After that, we were going to go and have a cup of tea with a spot of milk (I remember that exact phrase from my dream). We were on the way to Hobbiton when mum woke me. That was the end.

It's pretty daft, I know.

I do agree with you, LoTR is not Tolkien's greatest work. I personally prefer the Silmarillion, even though it is a lot more complex. But then again, its beauty lies in its complexity.
Date: Apr 02 2008 02:18 pm [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: aranel1 Signed
Whenever I have LotR dreams, they are almost always extremely anachronistic. And for some reason, no one in the dreams ever notices that or seems to care. lol... Take this one for example. It's actually one of the less crazy ones, 'cause it makes sense, right? Here goes:

One day I was in Middle-earth, when I approached Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, who were casually chatting amongst themselves.

“Hello,” I said, flashing them a cheery grin. “I want to give you a present.” I handed Aragorn a fine polished pistol. He took it gingerly in his hands and fingered the smooth barrel, staring at it intently.

“What is this?” he asked in wonder.

“It’s a gun,” I answered, matter-a-factly.

“Oh, I see,” said Aragorn. “So, what is a gun?”

“Here,” I said, grabbing it from him. “I will demonstrate.” I approached an ugly Uruk-hai and handed him the pistol.

“Wow,” he said in awe. He turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger. KABLAM!!

“Yep,” I said proudly. “That’s how it works.”

The End

Anyway, case in point. Very weird. But that was the whole dream. hehe

By the way, this dream ficcy thingy is a great idea! Kudos.
Date: Apr 01 2008 10:29 pm [Report This]
Title: The Crazy Origins of "An Elf's Love" Reviewer: Ria Signed
I really like this dream. It adds more craziness to one of the nuttiest fics you MSTed, and it's a nice reminder that the badfic impulse isn't rooted in the movies.

Author's Response: Thanks. Actually, the real "An Elf's Love" WAS based entirely on the movies, but at least the dream shows that you cannot blame Peter Jackson for all the garbage badfic authors post online.
Date: Feb 20 2008 09:10 pm [Report This]
Title: Gimli's Wife? Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed
Isn't that always the way it is with a good dream? You almost always wake up before the adventure reaches a satisfactory conclusion.
Date: Feb 17 2008 08:32 pm [Report This]
Title: Frodo and the Fortuneteller Reviewer: Freya Byron Signed
(This is pretty vague, because I nearly forgot it when I woke up this morning.)

I think it was at the Council of Elrond, but I was there too.
Then Elrond started hitting on me . . . I can;t remember what he was saying, but Gimli saved me by saying something like, "Ah, Elrond, I don't beleive you've met my wife." That's not what he actually said, but you get the gist of it. I played along with it, and I think Elrond was embarrased. I was about to thank Gimli, later, when I woke up . . . or I think that's what happened, anyway!
Date: Jan 13 2008 08:54 pm [Report This]
Title: Orcish Recyclables Reviewer: Celestial Signed
OH MY....these are hilarious! I kept falling off the bed from laughing so hard. Anyway, these are really good, please keep posting!
Date: Jan 11 2008 06:40 pm [Report This]
Title: Sick Hobbits, and Gollum's Game of Go-Fish Reviewer: Ria Signed
What a great, detailed dream. You have my sympathies on the technicolor yawns.
Date: Jan 07 2008 07:21 pm [Report This]
Title: Sick Hobbits, and Gollum's Game of Go-Fish Reviewer: Twisted Ingenue Signed
Thanks for adding my dream! I feel so honored! And I love the title you created! Lol...that Gollum thing was REALLY weird.

Author's Response: No problem. I think you had the weirdest dream I've put in my collection so far.
Date: Jan 07 2008 01:08 pm [Report This]
Title: Luthien with ADD Reviewer: Twisted Ingenue Signed
Wow...this is a great idea, Jules! ALWAYS come up with great ideas so this is nothing new.
I've had so many dreams featuring Tolkien's books or movies that I can't even count...but...if you want I'd be glad to share one I had when I was sick:

I had this really weird dream where my little sister and I were on this "adventure" which consisted of sleeping on the side of the highway, sticking out our thumbs to hitchhike, and cursing (dream curse-words of course, one being "Keebler Elf") at the cars that just zoomed by us.
Oddly enough, both of us over "time" (dream time is weird) started donning hobbitish suspenders and green cloaks with the leaves of Lorien brooches holding them together. My feet were also getting itchy from hobbit hair. Somehow, my sister and I had morphed into Sam and Frodo. I being Frodo and my sister being Sam. And yet, it didn't seem like it was that big of a deal. We were just like "Oh well!"
The I started to feel fluish symptoms and my sister/Sam was really concerned. She/he was like "It's the ring, isn't it, Mr. Frodo?" And I'm all like "Yep...*cough* *sneeze* sure is!"
When I started to get feverish chills, a neon blue, Chevy Silverado (I'm a car obsessed I THINK that's what is was) pulled up. It was Faramir wearing sunglasses. He looked a lot like David Wenham except he had his hair in a ponytail.
For some strange reason, my sister/Sam just hopped into the car next to Faramir and she/he was like "ha! I got shotgun"
But for some reason I was scared and I started running away...but then I stopped because I didn't want my sister/beloved friend to be in a car alone with the shady-looking Faramir, so crawled into the backseat. The only thing I remember was me saying "Nice leather interior," and Faramir replied with something along the lines of "'s the finest Gondorian leather."
Then, Sam (my sister and I were completely the characters) and I were brought to Henneth Annn which resembled the spa from the Grove Park Inn. I was still feeling really sick to my stomach and dizzy, though.
I was about to go vomit in one of the pools under a waterfall (Sam had disappeared) when Faramir came behind me again and was all like,
"We have your friend down there,"
All of the sudden we were in this colloseum/stadium kind of thing that featured a rock pool at the bottom. I looked down to see a furrier (kind of Hello Kitty-like) Gollumn on a rock playing "go-fish" with his evil self. I soon got really scared and started shaking and whimpering something like,
Then this strange sqaud of people who look like the faceless Civil War guys from a museum exhibit started popping up everywhere with bayonet guns and aiming them at Gollumn.
For some reason, I was like, "Okay" and I ran down the steps,,,everyone began to evaporate, except for Gollumn who looked pissed and began hissing at me. Then, he dissapated and I was left alone on a rock and I bent over, crying in distress from the "decision" I had made. That's when I woke up with a nasty headache and I stumbled over to the bathroom to start "worshipping the porcelain god". Yes...I was pretty ill when I dreamt that.
Date: Jan 04 2008 07:15 pm [Report This]
Title: The Evenstar Pendant--On Sale Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed
Carol recently told me that she bought an Evenstar pendant from The Noble Collection, but paid a much heftier price than a discount store would have charged. I guess she really does have a weakness for LotR jewelry.

Author's Response: Wow, that's for sure.
Date: Dec 19 2007 01:09 pm [Report This]
Title: John Noble Reviewer: Ria Signed
I'm deeply shocked that Karlmir dreamed Gondor without Arwen.

Author's Response: Why? Is he particularly obsessed?
Date: Nov 24 2007 07:43 pm [Report This]
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