I enjoy your stories very much. Do not worry about English being your second language, you do very well and I can always understand what you intend to say. Please continue writing. You are a very good storyteller.
Author's Response: Thank you for warm words. I'm really happy you liked it.
Hmmm. That was an interesting story.
I noticed about five different sections that could be improved. While there was no incorrect grammar, there were a few areas that could be improved.
There was a sentence, " Sons of Elrond are skilled healers." It would make more sense to say The sons of Elrond are skilled healers. There were several other examples of the same variety.
Another thing I noticed was the first sentence started "Yang elf, mostly elfling . . ." when it should be The young elf.
I really enjoyed this short, so . . .
Keep up the Good Work!!
Author's Response: Thank you for your advices. Sometimes it's really hard to notice your own grammar. I'll try to be more careful.