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Oops, i think Mina's ina bit of trouble now, poor . . . can ya get away with saying girl? Meh, i'll think about it later. Please update soon, i really like this. I'm gonna add it to my faves too, something i've been doing a lot today - Li
Well, Eomer's persistent, determined whatever fits best. Once again, his choice. I'm being unusually kind today to people i'm not that fond of, Emoer not you. Oh crap, Tigger's coming (my abnormally fat cat)!!!! Gotta go but i'll keep reading this - Li
I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!! Sorry, i jsut had to let out my ecstasy (hope that's spelt right) about finding someone else who writes about vampires. Mina sounds pretty cool, unusual taste though: Eomer, hmm, unusual but it could work in her favour. She sounds like she definitely does care about him if she saved his life but i suppose it is also her choice and in my opinion Gandald shouldn't be interfering, wizards - Li
I recall reading this story once before but I can't remeber where. I need to get one thing off my chest straight off...I detest the use of the term "Cock" immensely, Unless we are talking about a Rooster lets use another term, lol. Now I am a Nurse and I have heard about just about pet name for genitalia, and thats definately one that makes me wince.
I don't see alot of fanfic including the Vampires of Middle Earth though they are intresting creatures but I have always envisioned them as beaitful but only skin deep, and being truely frightful things beneath that thing and that is why I am having a bit of difficulty believing one falling for/desiring a mortal man.
Espically if that certain man is a son of Rohan, and as much as I adore that culture I have envisioned them as a rather supersticious lot and would not be intrested as much in bedding a dark creature but hunting it down and killing it, killing it very very dead, lol.
Now I am not putting down your story as it is a very unique style, but you asked people to let you know what they thought of the story and so I shall be honest with you, but don't take any of it as a put down as I wouldn't take the time to write all this if I didn't mean to help :)
Just a few things that really leap out at me and you may want to consider, The term "Dark Angel" I feel is getting way too overly cliche and espically in a story of Middle Earth where "Angels" did not excist per say.
Also, though the first chapter seemed to jump right into a story already happening I can accept that you will build on her past and everything though here is another female warrior who is quite "badass" and who everyone finds very deserable and wants to bed, be careful with that as it is heading into mary sue territory.
Though I can see that if your character has lived for a thousand of years she has seen alot and is quite capable of taking care of herself and she is a vampire so if she anything like Thuringwethil she is very "Femme Fatale" though Thuringwethil was more of a dark spirit who served Morgoth and then Sauron, so I personally would like to see more of her history as in middle earth is not the traditional vampire in the sense "I just bit you, now you are a vampire now too! ha ha ha"
Lastly, If for the last few chapters you have been trying to build "Mina" as a very strong and alluring creature the last few senstances of this chapter rather contradict this as when she is found listening to Eomer *ahem* playing, she is all of a sudden coy and shy and "Oh dear" comes off as very sweet and innocent, its a huge change in character I felt, that she did not instead pounce and have him on the floor ;)
Every male in this story to Mina is a "Bastard" Is there such reason for such anger? Though most days I would not be one to argue, lol but these are just small details t hat the reader would proably like to know, even if they seem pointless if you look at this fic as a nice meal, the little details are the spices and garnishes which you add to make it unique.
Just some thoughts :)
Author's Response: This story is also on my Fanfiction.net account (under LA Knight), my Urban Reveries account and my fandomination.net account (both under RazeNymphette).rnrnI personally like the word cock for some reason. That's just my personal preference.rnrnMina isn't from Middle Earth. In the summary it says she is summoned from Lower Earth (that is, our world) to Middle Earth after the Enemy summons another, evil vampire. That would be Kristoff. So she is of a different breed, as it were, than the vampires mentioned in the books. Somewhat like the difference between humans and gorillas, say.rnrnI'll tweak the title. I couldn't think of a better one at the time, but I'm sure I can figure something out.rnrnNot everyone finds Mina desirable. In fact, only Kristoff and Eomer do. The others acknowledge her as beautiful (I read in a book once that vampires were mortals often chosen for their beauty, among other things) but they feel only plutonic affection, nothing more.rnrnMina is strong and alluring to Eomer, but- this is discussed in further chapters- Mina was turned at a young age (about 18). At 18, your brain is not fully formed, and many still tend to act a bit immature. So though she has lived for thousands of years, she's still basically a thousands-of-years-old teenage girl, who still sometimes gets flustered when she's confronted by an uncomfortable situation. That's something I learned in my human anatomy class, and I was like, "Oh, neat."rnrnMina thinks Kristoff is a bastard. The second use of the word bastard was Kristoff describing Eomer. And she hates Kristoff because he's doing his best to ruin her entire immortal life.rnrnI will, however, make a point to put these things in my story text, not just in this response. I thank you very much for your effort. As thorough as you are, I sincerely hope you would be willing to read my other LotR stories, and help me with those as well.rnrnNo fear- all things will be revealed in time.
I'm not trying to be facetious, but wouldn't Eomer become a vampire after drinking Mina's blood? Intriguing story, so far.
Author's Response: In most universes with vampires, the drinking of vampiric blood must be done at least 3 or 4 times before a human can become a vampire. But that is a good question because in some universes, such as Anne Rice, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Moonlight (that new tv show), it only takes one time.rnrnBut thanks for pointing that out. I'll have to mention that in one of my later chapters.