Oh my god you have the timing of a saint, im not even kidding. I spent yesterday sorting my flat out because it got flooded by a broken toilet and when i finally sit down at my laptop, after letting my powerpack dry out, you've updated. Its fate, i am MEANT to read this story.
Hahaha, I LOVE the Boromir input, he's so hot and brooding..mmmm very nice indeed. Makes my smelly bedroom alot nicer to be in! Cracking update as ever. Absolutely loved it. I always laugh so much. Damn right you girls on removing that incestuous sue, LOVED Aoife and Paula having a go at it. Hahaha.
‘Well, if the small mortal children won’t sing for us, I would be glad to –’
‘No! Feck off!’ Paula cried, shoving the Sue off the table
Absolutely beautiful imagery, of coursethe stupid thing would have landed as gracefully as a gazelle or something ridiculous and un middle earth. The fac tthat the fellowship didnt feed them to the angry lynching mob obviously means that at on some level the boys are thankful. Im positive. :D
Anyway, made me laugh. i love this. One of my favourites. Dont let the stress get to you, just think about me watching my suede boots float downthe hall on stream of toilet water, and all your stresses will hopefully lessen. hahaha
Author's Response: My GOD, hon! Your life is so insane in these reviews! What with coughing up lungs on trains and being flooded . . . well, I suppose it never makes for a dull moment!
Huzzah for fate of this kind, then!! Yay!!! Hope your laptop wasn't, like, permanently damaged, though!
Well, the Boromir part was for you. There's more in the next chappie though. Mwa ha. And as ever, I say, 'AWW!!!' Damn that incestuous Sue indeed. Kind of ironic how Aoife tried to use logic but Paula just flung filthy water at it. Ha.
Why, cead mile maith agat! (a hundred thousand thanks) Glad you liked it, though it is sadly likely that she fell with said grace of said gazelle. *sigh* Ah well, at least she's kicked the bucket. (no pun intended, since it was pretty dire)
Hmm, you are tight, Junior. Perhaps the Fellowship was *secretly* overjoyed at the Sue-whacking. Very true. *taps nose scientifically*
Ah! I am glad. The stress shall not claim me yet, not while but a drop of Sue-defying blood thrills through my veins!
AHHH!! SOUND LIKE A SUE!!
And it did lessen. God help you, your footware and your electronic good, my dear.
hahaha! Ohhhh that made me very happy indeed! and ive just binged on Lisa Nova too. The Johnny Depp Kiera Knightly one is hilarious! ANY way. Back to it. Basically...
The Sue makes me laugh beyond all belief and reason. And unfortunately I cannot be a grown up about her...i just to want to pound on her a little bit. (okay, alot. but i didnt want to look like a psycho...) haha.
Paula is hilarious. screw going into middle earth i'd just like an hour to play in her head. I would never be able to laugh again and would have an incredible 6 pack fron the excessive giggling.
Your timing is so perfect. (i know im late reviewing i had to go to the pub [hahahaha had to] but i read the start of this on friday and then worked all weekend. anyway you didnt ask for my life story, just some ffedback which i will give you before i start sounding like the sue)
Love it . it could be improved somewhat with mroe boromir, but hey, what couldnt. hahah Ignore me. I fricking love this story. it makes me giggle. thankyou for updating!!!!
Author's Response: Ooh, why thank you. Lisa Nova is a genius.
Beyond all belief and reason? Oh, my! That's a new one! Yay!
Seriously, hon, do you even see those chicks trying to be grown-up? Uh-uh. Game over. Immaturity, here I come.
Ah, yes. I nick-named it 'the Paula-zone'. Well, just now, I nick-named it 'the Paula-zone'. *shrugs* Whatever. I still like it.
Ah, sure, go away out of that. Your timing is impeccable, as always. Hey, you reviewed, didn't you? *hugs* And had to, eh?? Ha! WORKED ALL WEEKEND??? OH, GOD, NO!!! Poor you! *pats you in a sympathetic manner*
*giggles* Well, I don't mind the life-story, and can of course forgive the Suishness, m'dear. Aw. Thanks. MORE BOROMIR COMING RIGHT UP! ORDERS HAVE BEEN GIVEN!
Glad I made ya giggle! Te he! Next update should come soon, but brace yourself, it'll be a biggie!!
MWA! Enigmas xxx
Omg! That worked! Cool! I have to go now so here's just a hasty sumary of my previous two failed reviews;
Aoife's veering towards Sueishness.
Paula's a lej.
the one, the only, the legend,
the Tree xxx
Author's Response: Okay, HOW?? TELL ME?? I have been trying soooooooo hard not to make her a Sue, I think I'm going to cry, and turn emo like Aoife. That's it. I'm in the corner already. And I don't think I can talk to you anymore. The D4 fringe will be too distracting. I think I might just die if Aoife is a Sue. Thank you for crushing my tender spirit, Tree. *sobs*
Paula is a legend, I admit. She's only a legend because she doesn't have to deal with the realistic crap that Aoife does, however. If she had to be logical all the time, she's be a Sue too. *le sigh* I think I'll go dye my hair black and write some tortured poetry. Hello, emo nation.Br>The one, the only, the depressed
Howaya. This is my third attempt at a review 'coz according to lotrff I'm not authorised to do reviews! Shite.
Author's Response: Good God, Tree, what kind of filth have you been posting to infer the wrath of LOTRF? You sicken me.
wow, this is really good!!! i love it!!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks!!! Te he, glad you like it! *eats proverbial hat once again* *you'll understand if you read chapter 8*
I feel so happy! Yay and thanks for all the people reading and reviewing! *skips about jouyously and bursts into song* Thanks for all the support!! Yay for ye!!
hmmm. This is rather interesting.
I'm afraid I don't understand some of the phrases you use in this, as I am not from Ireland. ( I am not sure I want to, though)
Anyways, I feel rather sorry for the Fellowship!
Author's Response: Oh, thanks! *eats proverbial hat*
When you say interesting . . . I feel afraid. Oh, and phrases . . . let me see, well, Paula tends to say 'like' a lot, but you can figure that out, she's a 21st century chick. Crap. Ah. I can see. And crapped up. Well, let's just say the crap is a nicer term than the four letter word beginning in s and ending in t. And an extremely Irish thing, come to think of it. Well spotted. Let me see . . . feck. Yes. Well, you were probably correct about not wanting to know, but it's a fairly mild term for another word, which I'm sure you'll guess. Hey, they're just normal Irish school-girls. Irish school-girls swear.
And yes, I feel rather sorry for the Fellowship too! Poor them!
Anywho, thanks so much for your review!! I appreciate it.
WHOOP! TACKLE-GLOMP! You go, Paula! Seriously, fair play to that girl! Alright, I admit that Andrew Trimble is far from the hottest guy in the world but that was a damn good try! Actually, Ronan O'Gara should get the credit but he's old (well, older than Andy anyway!) and Trimble looks a lot hotter on the rugby pitch than in that photo! And he's fit! Really fit! (Though not as fit as Wenty! *sigh*) And yes, I have just spent this whole review making myself sound like some crazed rugger-hugger, which I am not! No really, I'm not!
Anyway, moving away from the subject of rugby players, this chapter is as fantazmical as always. And it's hilarious!
Overall, me likey muchly, muchly. Kudos to you Eniggie, old chum!
Merry Valentines to all! (Even though I do believe that its the biggest scam of a feast day ever! And its already over!)
But merry Valentines to all anyway!
Author's Response: Indeed, much fair-play to that chick. THANK YOU! Andrew Trimble . . . *shudders*
Who is this Ronan O'Gara you speak of? I must google . . .
*Fifteen seconds later* OH, SWEET JESUS!! Bleurgh!
Ha ha. Yep, you crazed rugger-hugger. Hey you already own Abercrombie . . . next will be Uggs . . . Jeez, way to abandon the Emo Nation.
Not that I'm a member of it, or anything.
Aha! Well, thanks a bundle. Tut tut! Shameless flattery will most likely make you my favourite person.
Oh, and Tree? Don't . . . call me Eniggie. That's just odd.
And merry Valentines to you too, old fellow Valentinian hater . . . and to all a good night!
hahahha!! Screw valentines day!! i would much rather have a chaper of this than a crappy card. As iever, it was fantastic! Loved the takcle of aragorn...and Boromir's stew...And of COURSE he looks hotter in real life (yea more of a Sean Bean fan than a boromir fan, but tomato tomatto...
Who is the man in the link with the massive neck? TErrifying proportion issues... Hahaha
Loved the high jump over the fire and into Gandalf's robes. I just giggle endlessly at your stories
But as ever, i effing loved it. It was cracking (i think i need to extend my vocabulary...cracking, fanftastic and fabulous are wearing thin...until that day however, this story is all three, at once...so its pretty chuffing amazing.
Teehee!!! Thankyou for updating (makes me feel so lazy, i havent added a chapter in ages in comparison...:( hahaha)
Author's Response: YAY!! (neither of us is bitter at ALL!)
He he . . . I liked the tackling too. And the stew thing kind of came out of no-where. I felt it necessary to show Aoife being sort of more clinically hygienic.
Oh, sea. The guy with the massive neck. Please excuse me for a moment . . .
HA!!!! TOLD YOU, TREE, THAT THAT DUDE WAS BASICALLY JUST NECK MAN!! HA!!
*hem* Well, my friend, that is Paula's current object of adoration. (and Tree's. She made me do it) His name is Andrew Trimble, and apparently he scored 'a really fantastic try for Ireland' in rugby. Don't know much about it myself.
Te he, thanks again. I'm kind of thinking that no matter what these chicks try to do to act cool, it's just going to all turn to crap before them.
Oh, and I wouldn't worry!!! It has the same effect on me no matter how many times you repeat the words. YAY!! HAPPINESS!!!
Who needs crappy cards when you can almost have hot elves? (and in Paula's case, Andrew Trimble . . . she's welcome to him . . .)
Ah, well, sure, I don't update during term as much as I would like myself!! (school/lectures suck) so don't feel lazy!
Aoife is really looking like an emo, right about now, isn't she? Ah well . . . EMO-SMILEY!!
Oh my god...i go on a train journey from hell and when i finally get myself hooked up to the internet there's an update nestled in the archives...Fabulous!!
To get more characters up you hold ctrl while you select.
and on with the praise:
I think i coughed up a lung, ive got a cough and i was laughing so much that it became a hacking cough...mmmm sexy, but once i'd got over only having one lung it was quite do able to laugh like a drain, which i did. Fantastic. I love this so much. Especially:
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?" Hahahaha, damn right you crazy bitch of a sue. Go Paula, you telll her off, the crazy lady!!
But in Aoife’s mind, she grew to a massive personage, with flaming eyes, brandishing a Hoover of Death, screaming at Aoife.
‘AOIFE WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THOSE STRANGE MEN?? WHY AREN’T YOU AT HOME?? ARE YOU TAKING DRUGS? THAT ARE NOT PRESCRIBED TO YOU?? OH MY GOD, ARE YOU PREGANT??’
Sweet jesus that made me chuckle. And Boromir had some input, that is what i like to see, yum-my.
okay, now ive stopped drooling on myself...
I love this story so fricking much!! Its awesome and makes me happy.
Huzzaaaah!!!! down with the sue!!! YAY for updates!!
Author's Response: Ooooh . . . hate train journeys. YAY!!! Well, I'm glad that it helped.
BLESS YOU!!!! Oh, thanks be to GOD!! I wasw seriously starting to think I'd never figure it out before the flash of inspiration hit me . . . I'LL ASK JUNIOR!!!! YAY!!!!
Mmmm, tres sexy. Your fellow train-mates must have been seriously thrilled. Well, I'm very glad you laughed as hard as you did.
And yes, this Sue is pretty . . . dire. And as I have hinted before, it gets worse. Soooo much worse. *grins evilly*
I don't know where Aoife's mother being so evil in her mind came from, to be honest. Though I did like the 'ARE YOU PREGNANT???' bit myself. He he.
Oh, my, I never knew you had a thing about Boromir, my friend!! . . . you're going to hate Paula . . . he he he . . .
AWWW!!! As ever I am so extreeeeemely delighted that I'm making someone laugh. You simply rule, Junior. Huzzah for us!!!!! And huzzah for mid-term!!
Hi! (you:agh! not that betch!) me: oh sea! I'm back at ya betch! Get used to it! you:*runs away! but not very far because hockey-player, athletics-girl Talking Tree rugby-tackles Enigma to ground* (me: Whoop! Rugby rocks! I love rugby players! *tackle-glomps Andrew Trimble*
Um.. anyway moving swiftly onwards! Thanks you very much for fixing Paula so she now resembles a human being as opposed to some weirdo passive side-kick. ...OK, sorry thats a bit harsh! But what I forgot to mention on the other review (if you can even call it that!) is that I freakin' love this ff! Is e an sceal is fearr ar an idirlion go leor! i.e. It rocks!
Gra mor agus slan go foill
Author's Response: Hi!! *inches away slowly*
rnYou think way too much of yourself, you know, Tree. AND USE CORRECT GRAMMAR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And fix your language, you blaggard. This is a public domain.
rnBitchiness over. Love you, chick. *whips out sword, flails around, whacking Talking Tree on shoulder, and probably mortally wounding her/leaps up, making Talking Tree remember that this chick did win bronze for Ireland in the Irish Open Judo championships in the under 16 category in 2006. Oh, sea.*
rnCan't stand rugby players myself, ah well, but to each their own. *swoons over Haldir*
rnYeah, well, don't sound so happy about it. That chick needed fixing. *readies spork with leer* And she's still the passive side-kick. MY fan fiction. I deal out the characters roles. Just because you think she's cool because she plays hockey . . . I knew that was a bad idea at the time, you know that? Because you'd be all like: OOH!! I can relate to her!! BE NICE TO HER!!!
rnStill. Go raibh maith agat. I'm glad yo love it, because, seriously, I was really sure you hated it. No, chreid no na chreid e. Cead mile maith agat.
rnAww!! Gra mor freisin!!
Hey Enigma. I just wrote a massive long review basically attacking the portrayal of Paula in your ff but -lucky for you- I lost it. I will inform you about it at a later date. Good day.
P.S. Really it wasn't all bad... a least it was funny.
Author's Response: Hey Talking Tree. If you have any qualms about the portrayel of one of my fantabulous characters, I would be glad to hear it. It wasn't lucky for me. Bring it, sister. And please, please do inform me of it at a later date. I await with baited breath. Truly. Good day to you, too, sir, or madam. Adieu.rnrnP.S Neither is your face . . . and ditto!!
Hahahaha!! Oh my god i think i ruptured something, that was so funny that it hurt me (and maybe my flatmates think i am crazy, laughing loudly and randomly). I tell you what, if this is what exams make you write, you should always have exams. It was cracking. Love the Sue, well hate her but you know what I mean. I loved Aoife having a go at Aragorn, brilliant! Absolutely loved it, as ever.
Hope the exams went well. Lectures are as mind numbing as ever, but we all have trials...le siiiigh. haha. Im so melodramatic. and such whinger.
Anyway, it was fantastic, i love this. Big.
Author's Response: Oh NOOOO!!! And yay!! (the oh noooo was in case my bestest reviewer was mortally wounded and the yay was to it was funny) Ha ha!! Well, thanks a bunch, Junior, but it is exams that make me go occasionally emo, and so perhaps it is better for all in a constant vicinity of me that I don't always have exams. ;)rnA thousand thanks! I'm quite love-hatin' the Sue myself!! (and it gets worse . . . much worse). Ah, yes. Go that girl. And the exams went . . . okay. Well, I'm taking the fact that I'm still breathing as encouraging. TRIALS!!! That sounds scary!! And, um, Junior? You're on a FAN-FICTION site. We are the queens of melodrama! If you can't be dramatic here, where can you be?? (and I'm a much bigger whinger. Mwa ha.)rnAWW!!!! You rock, buddy. Seriously, as a great friend of mine, by the name of Talking Tree would say, 'You rock harder than the mines of Moria!!' Amen, to that. rnxx
Nothing brightens my day after a mind numbing lecture like seeing that you've posted a chapter!! So fisrtly, thankyou for improving my day.
My favourite line...
Aragorn for his super-strong knock-out brew, but then she thought that that would make her sound like a drug addict.
Bwahahaha, i love the way you right, it always makes me laugh out loud. I feel bad for Aragorn and the Hobbits, not knowing what's hit them, but I love that Paula and Aoife aren't being all super serious now they know where they are (you know, like 'I WILL SAVE MIDDLE EARTH! GIVE ME THE RING I AM HE RINGBEARER TO SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF FRODO' that sort of thing. I dont know why i capitalised it, maybe just for emphasis.) But anyway, yaaay for non of that.
Hope your exams go well! Good luck. And we shall meet again (well not exactly but you know what i mean) in a few weeks!! Thankyou for the update!
Author's Response: YAAAAAYY!!!!!!! Aww, I feel so loved!!!! Super glad to be of cheerful service. You are more welcome than I can say, for seeing your review has given me the strength to face my Science exam of the morrow! Anywho.rnYes, I was quite proud of that one myself. SCORE! I made someone LOL!!! Huzzah! And I feel bad for Aragorn too. Oh, my, yes, Paula makes things much worse for him and Legolas later on. And Boromir . . . let's not even go there. Aoife and Paula do go a little (well, a lot) more hyper in ME now. Well, Paula basically goes insane, but . . . hey!! I could be giving away vital plot info here!! Shutting up.rnYah. Frodo . . . well, just wait and see. I pity this poor hobbit. The whole 'ring' dealio fades into non-importance in comparison to these chicks.rnAnd thank you! We shall indeed metaphorically meet again when the world is nice to me again. 'Til then, my friend!
Congratulations on posting your first fiction here! You certainly are living up to the letter of the challenge by having your heroines seem very normal and non-Sueish.
Author's Response: Ooh, thanks so much!! YAY!! I HAVE NOT CREATED THE SUPER-SUE I FEARED I HAD!!rnSorry, slightly hyper there. I'm so glad! The reason I got an account here was to answer the challenge. And to prove to everyone that your character doesn't have to be a Sue to succeed!!!rnA thousand thanks! You wouldn't believe how freaked out I was about the possibility of having Sues on my hands!! =)
ooooof!!! Smouldering Ranger yes please!!
Haha, I love this so much!!! *grabby hand movements*
Okay, enough with the exclamation marks and the squeeing, on with the serious review. I think i am Paula and Aoife rolled into one (some might call that a deity..only some though). I so do with with freckles and stuff (although i have never tried to get my mum to drive me to hospital, only to the docters, which she did so begrudginly cos i had earache, and it turned out i'd perforated my eardrum. Hahaha. Ahem, anyway).
I love the two of them together, they make a cracking duo.
And i cannot wait for them to create general havoc for the fellowship!!
(It did it twice!! Keeps saying "Cannot display" Well tough luck mate, because I have copied the reveiw before i try and post it so Boo you! I have beaten the system, although if it doesnt post this time im going to cry.)
Author's Response: *bows*rnThank you, thank you. And yes, I know many who would indeed join you on the smouldering-ranger glomping mission.rnIndeed? Wow. That must make for an interesting life! DEITY!!! NEW FAVOURITE WORD!! (now who's squeeing and using excessive punctuation?)rnYes, those two chicks do make somewhat of a cracking duo, alright. And generally, they are going to totally screw up the general mission of the Fellowship. It seems kind of unavoidable. rnHA! Take that, system!! Kudos to you. I love getting your reviews!! They're so nice!! YAYNESS!!rnWell, it looks like we're both waiting for Aoife and Paula to make their first major scoial faux pas. Let's hope its soon!! ;)
im so upset, i wrote you the longest review and my computer crashed!! *shakes fist* Damn you windows!!
Anyway, i shall try and recollect what i can..
Thankyou for my thankyou! thats so sweet, but i should really say thankyou for writing your story so i could review and then you could thank me. Confused? I think i am...
I really liked this chapter, ilove being able to see how characters work and how their friendship works and it is realistic, you describe things beautifully. I also love the fact that you have just put it down like This is Aoife and This is Paula in its own chapter, I prefer this than giving readers hints about character nuances in the text, it can getted very bogged down with too many subtlities (I do NOT want you to think that it is a bad idea to just put it inits own chapter, for some reason i think that you could take it like this, and that is not what i intend. It is bold, but i love it....Am i making sense? I think im affected by having to re write my review. If i dont then let me know and i will breath deeply for a few moments before articulating it properly.)
and im babbling...
Author's Response: Junior, you rule. Seriously, and totally.rnrnI HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!! It happens to me constantly, especially when I feel the need to fix stories of the random masses on Quizilla. I'll type out this mondo massive message, and then Quizilla will go, 'Sorry! Your message is way too long. The limit is 2000 characters. You used 3445216.'rnrnI UNDERSTOOD THAT!! Basically because that's the way I find myself thinking a lot of the time . . . and you are very welcome, but it is me who should be thanking you for the wondrously encouraging reviews! They're a total ray on sunshine!rnrnAnd thank you so much! I'm glad that the girls are actually becoming believable, and that their friendship doesn't seem forced. I didn't want to have to leave too much about how the characters live in the actual story, because seriously, when am I going to find an excuse to talk about Aoife's clothing preferances anywhere else?rnrnOh, and I gotcha. You made perfect sense, and I thank you most sincerely and happily *quashes urge to skip* for your compliments!! And I quite understand how having to write a whole new review would make you feel odd. Thanks for it, though! You wouldn't believe how encouraging it is!rnrn*happy dances*
Hahaha!! This is awesome!
(through fear of sounding so much older than i am) it does sound alarmingly similar to my secondary school, very realistic portrayal. I love your style, made me laugh out loud.
Can't wait for the update!
Author's Response: Thanks a hugely massive bunch, oh glorious first reviewer of mine! Welcome to my school life. And thank you so much, I'm really ultra happy now!!! I'll be updating soon as possible! Thanks again!rnrn*skips about happily before falling over, being a huge klutz, probably mortally wounding herself*