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Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/02/08 - 02:53 am Title: Chapter 10 - Morfineth

Wow, this is awesome!! Morfineth is cool as, she reminds me of Mirajhioana. FOR EVERYONE READING THIS REVIEW, MIRAJHIOANA IS MINE!!!

Author's Response: Why do i get the weird feeling that's spelt the same as the drug? Tigger's in the lounge room sleeping in Smudge's chair. I'll probably post again later but it depends how long it takes me to finish these b'day invites. Talk to ya soon - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/02/08 - 04:38 am Title: Chapter 9 - Brothers

Cool chapter, though when Maglor said, "Maybe . . . more . . ." I was like, "OOH!! SLASH!!" But he wanted to be a dad instead. Oh well, cool chapter!!

Author's Response: If ya want slash . . . read something else. Oh, Majority and Another Heaviness of Soul by Bone Fauna, in that order. I'll start the next chapter now, talk to ya in a second - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/02/08 - 11:22 am Title: Chapter 7 - Conversations

Gah, we have got to stop pulling all-nighters, I'm exhausted :(
Excellente, but if no-one is allowed to leave WHAT is Glorfindel doing there?!

Author's Response: Excellent point . . . he ran away, that could be a reason. I think i have a reason but i'm not sure whether that'll be 'the reason'. I might twist it around, experiment before i start the next chapter. If you think your tired, try cleaning up the school all day in 30 degree heat before having to walk home in it. I can bearly walk and i have a major headache. Send Elrond after me if you must but make sure he's in a relatively good mood. Talk to ya later - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/02/08 - 01:40 am Title: Chapter 7 - Conversations

Coolie. Yea, I'm still in a bad mood, so bad that I knew Erestor had anti-random commented my drink and I drank it anyway.

Author's Response: Hmm, there is definitely something wrong. Oh well. See ya at school - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 11:33 am Title: Chapter 6 - Tasks and Appointments

Much better mellon nin! This sounds very interesting, please update sooN!

Author's Response: Hannon le. I hope it sounds interesting coz now i have to something something myself with writing the next chapter of it. Talk to ya soon - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 10:07 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

El amperio hora, pero yo quiere habla no más de largo en inglés apenas para molestar la mierda fuera de usted. ¡Ha usted mismo, Lira_of_Imladris, nuevo vice presidente de Evil Corp.!!

Author's Response: OK, i figured out what this said last night and now i don't remember. Something to do with me being the new vice president of Evil Corp if i understand it. Talk to ya laterz - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 10:04 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Never!!! ¡Nunca!!!

Author's Response: HA!!! You just said never and that's in english!! *does victory dance*

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 10:02 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Español, hombre, español. . . ¡y no hablo insentatez, porque soy todo el buen inglés, que es alto en bebida fizzy!!

Author's Response: Once again, english version please - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 09:59 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Bien entonces, usted es el hermano más mayor y le respeto. ¡También soy alto en coque! * hiccup *

Author's Response: English version please mellon nin. I don't speak gibberish . . . do i?

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 09:56 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Cool piccy I sent you, hmm? I'll show you his car at school on me phone. I'm thinking I'll move to America, get a fancy car like his WOOHOO FOR TRANSAN FIREBIRDS and then go and get high on something. I probably won't be high for long since America is such a dangerous place but oh well, who cares. *Makes silly car noises* Oh and Top Gear are coming to Australia for their new series. *Continues silly car noises, and pretends to drive a steering wheel. Screeching noises* Vrooom, vroooom, vrooooooooom, VROOM!!

Author's Response: Is this gonna be as bad as the train thing last year coz if it is i'll need to get some ear plugs. I think i might write a little of the seventh chapter but i dunno what's gonna happen. Talk to ya soon - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 09:51 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Hooray for tennis balls, Gordon took us for a ride in his car and my knees won't stop shaking since he nearly crashed on his first turn. *Looks around in paranoia*

Author's Response: Who's Gordon?! Not that i care i just wanna know. And your knees can't be worse than what i was like Thursday and riday at school, i'm surprised i made it without becoming a quivering lunatic, it was like i was just freezing cold, and then when i was walking a couple of times i felt like i was at the top of a tower looking down as if i was about to fall, you have no idea how crap i felt and you probably don't want to either - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 09:48 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Are you going to say ANYTHING about Gordon's car?? It's a rarey in Australia, and the license plate is 'DVIL'. Hooray for yellowness.

Author's Response: Too tired to say anything. Smudge ate Lindir's ear tonight, he had some venison an i had chinese that's made me feel kinda sick or maybe that's just the tennis balls on the desk next to me. Talk to ya later - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/08 - 09:42 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

Oh, poor Dae, I liked him. Hopefully no one will step on Snakey and kill her, she's too cuddly for that. Hey, I had the most awesome drive today in a transan firebird or something, was yellow and rigged and had red phoenixes everywhere, it was really cool. There's skid marks were we were driving, LOL, and OMG the car's purr was exquisite!!

Author's Response: I've been sitting at Dad's computer most of the day because he's so god dam boring. Yeah, poor Dae, Neithan's gonna be crushed when he finds out : ( I won't post again tonight, i might read more of the story i was reading and teh n go to bed unless Gem arrives, in which case i might stay a little longer. Talk to ya later - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 31/01/08 - 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Nirorn

Good :D But I don't trust Nirorn! Dunno why...but I don;t!

Author's Response: Hmm, he isn't very believable is he but i like him that way. It might make Neithan want to kill him but he probably won't. I have a few plans for Nirorn and a fair few for Neithan as well which i might write down at school today, probably in the free period i scored tonight, last one before i go home and sadly i can't wag it and go home early. Talk to ya tomorrow - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 31/01/08 - 04:01 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

:S So have you rewritten it yet? Couldn't tell ^.^

Author's Response: Yeah, i didn't rewrite the whole chapter though, reread and fixed the stuff that wasn't right and what not, it was confusing, that much i'll tell you. Talk to ya tomorrow most probably - Li

Reviewer: arulia34 Signed [Report This]
Date: 31/01/08 - 08:42 am Title: Chapter 4 - Nirorn

Oi, you know if they bound themselves to each other they're married, right??

Author's Response: They're not married that way! There is more than one way to be bound to a person. Frodo was bound to Gollum but they weren't married. Neithan is bound to Nirorn in a way that they have to travel with each other until Neithan tells him to get lost or he dies. Talk to ya later - Li

Reviewer: xFanarix Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/01/08 - 05:51 pm Title: Chapter 2 - The Warrior

Canon-ish issues: Their language would be much more formal - Elves don't speak in contractions in Tolkien's works. It takes away all their Elvishness, somehow, makes them sound like '' men '' [ Yuck - just me, I am very anti Mortals in general except Turin ]
Look at the language in the Silmarillion, it is elegant and beautiful. And beating Fingon? I can't buy that, sorry. An Aman born Elf? Son of Fingolfin? I write Fingon and he's not happy. I write Maglor and he's also very, very important to me. Look after him.
Not in an Age or even four would some-one easily beat Fingon, he faced Glaurung with mounted archers, he only died as Gothmog enwrapped him with a whip.Which happened before the Sack of Doriath, so he is not alive at this time. Nirnaeth Arnoediad was before Doriath was attacked. So those are canon issues, but if this is AU, well, then, it's AU. I was very surprised to see Fingon, actually and so was he. d;-)

But that is not a reflection on your writing talents, for some-one so young you have a heck of a future, so I hope, like Gemini Elf you also work on some stories which could be published as original, or it would be a great waste. Don't let people tell you writing is a '' waste of time '' as they told me. Grrr.

All writing is great practice, but at least with original works you have a chance of actual publication, and some of the writers on here - it makes me cry thinking their work is '' bound by copyright ''. You know my '' vision ''? Probably after I am dead, is a whole lot of what will be called '' Alternative Tolkien '' actually being published. Purists would know it was AU and wouldn't have to buy it, but a whole lot of people would, who don't even know FF exists at the moment. Good luck.

Author's Response: Yeah i've seen you say that before and i completely forgot about that, i'll try and fix it. If this sounds very broken up, it's because i'm reading a bit of the review, then writing a response to it, i'll do a new paragraph for each response perhaps.rnrnI try to make it as believable as possible and your not the only one who thinks this needs some work so i might actually go back to square one and start over and try to finish the Silmarillion as well, i'm taking my time.rnrnWhen i chose Fingon, i thought it was right but i might have not been reading properly, i'll see if i can find when the sons of Feanor attacked Doriath and go on from there, find another elf.rnrnHannon le. That's what everybody says to me and arulia34 except our old English teacher told us to expand genres and i'm just like 'Er, sorry, can't do that, not even if you gave me detention for absolutely every word of fantasy i write. It's MY passion.'rnrnTrue, all writing is a great practice and i'm kind of sad that my original work has slowly become second best to fanfiction but you kind of get to try originality with fanfiction because most people have their own plots, characters sme have there own places and herbs and what not. Maybe someone should get onto making a book filled with LOTR fanfiction because when ya think about it, there ar probably some Tolkien fans who don't have access to the internet and stuff so they probably don't know about it either.rnrnThanks for the review anyways, hopefully when i rewrite this it'll be better. Thanks for constructive criticism as well - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/01/08 - 04:07 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Antcrist and Dae

Hey, I've been back for weeks, you can stop complaining! And you're in a non-exam year! I should be DEAD if this world had logic!
Anyways, this chapter was good too! :D

Author's Response: So you don't think there's anything wrong with it? Anything i can change because if their isn't that makes my life that much more easier. I'm gonna rewrite it after the things you and xFanarix pointed out so now i've got homework and it's my first day back but this year sounds like it'll be pretty easy too. Talk to ya soon - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/01/08 - 04:04 pm Title: Chapter 2 - The Warrior

Hm...depends on the pizza...if it was what you said the other day it DID sound nice!
You're getting good at hurt awakenings/healing scenes. That was really good! (Finally started paying attention in class? ;))
Quibble; “How come he doesn’t have a hand?!” really doesn't sound like Maglor. Morgoth's fire's, it does not sound as if an elf would say it at all!
Good characterization of Neithan, but I wouldn't have had him beat the mighty Fingon on first try
Good work!

Author's Response: I know, i've stuffed up a fair bit but eventually when i've got more experience (and time) for the First Age i'll rewrite this i think. I wasn't actually paying much attention in class today, aminly coz it's all 'Welcome to Year 8, we're gonna waste your time explaining things'. That's good but it's god dam boring. Talk to ya soon - Li

Reviewer: Gemini_Elf Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/01/08 - 03:41 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beginning

:D Coo;os. Do wish you'd stop portraying good guys as THAT evil though!

Author's Response: How evil is 'THAT' evil though? I'm confused. Just got back from school, it was a nightmare . . . kinda. All wet and rainy and we don't know what half the classes on our timetable are. Bek and i'll have fun this year. Talk to ya soon - Li

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