Reviews For Breakfast For Ada
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Reviewer: sylc Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/09/09 - 09:42 am Title: Breakfast in Bed

This is your first fanfiction? I'm impressed! Well done! This story is sweet and cute, your Estel is endearing and I love the tolerance and supportiveness of his adoptive family. Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Author's Response: I just like little Estel! Thank you. I'd almost forgotten about this story. I've grown so much since then. Thanks for reading. I also have another account here: Daewen.

Reviewer: zilah Signed [Report This]
Date: 21/12/08 - 09:33 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

What an adorable story! Little Estel really managed in melting my heart.

zilah

Author's Response: Yeah, Estel is so cute! Thank you for reading.

Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/12/08 - 08:58 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

This made me chuckle.
Your writing here was very lyrical - appropriate for a young child story! "Cute" can't even begin to describe Estel.
That note surely made Elrond’s toast digestible. (Yet it is lucky the twins were quick enough to intervene before the second piece).
-Kitt ; )

Author's Response: Yeah, I wanted the twins to have such a close relationship with Estel that they would know what he was up to. I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: Charli800 Signed [Report This]
Date: 22/11/08 - 05:31 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Aargh! Can I kill the site? I typed you a beautiful long review and it ate it! Oh well, here goes again.

You didn't put Este in the text of your fic, but she's set in the story settings that are displayed with the summary.

I'm still laughing at the idea of me being a published author. I'm still in school and the longest thing I've ever written is the quarter of the novel I'm working on. I'm flattered, but it is sort of amusing.

If you ever go back to ffn, run an author search for me - Charli800 - and read some of my favourite stories. You might enjoy those. You could read some of my non-LotR stuff too, if you wanted.

I look forward to seeing a longer version of this story. I'd like to see what you can do with it. Get a beta to ok it over too.

On that topic, I have a policy of never offering to beta for specific stories/people. Too many writers feel obliged to accept the offer and end up with a beta who doesn't work well with them.
You seem to have a small problem though: I don't know if you'll get a beta if one doesn't jump down your throat, you sound so nervous. I'm trying to be approachable bu not pressurizing. If you want to ook at a whole bunch of betas without commiting to anything, have a look at www.perfectimagination.co.uk I would enjoy beta-ing for you, but I won't be at all offended if you think someone else would work better for you. I will keep on telling you to get a good beta though!

Are reviews the only way to chat on this site? I need to tell you that McCaffrey does /not/ write about "drgaons in a Star Wars setting". Her best books don't include electricity, never mind spaceships.;) If you've read 'The Silmarillion' three times, Shakespeare should be a breeze. He's not half as tortuous. Realy.

I've spammed you enough now; I should go leave you a proper review on your new story.

Happy writing,
Charli800

Author's Response: Oh, I'll fix that if I can.Oops:)) Ah, you're younger than I am. And don't worry, my novel is no where near being finished! Yeah, reviews are the only way. I hate that part but what can you do? Well, one could make a site attacked to this one where we could talk . . . that would be cool! Excuse me about McCaffrey. I have't read her stuff and I know now that I am confused about several points. I should read things before I condemn them. You're not spamming me! I really enjoy talking. But I will enjoy reviews! Oh, and I'm on right now!

Reviewer: Charli800 Signed [Report This]
Date: 21/11/08 - 06:28 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Okay, um, well the first thing I really ought to say is that on a bigger site like fanfiction.net the majority of reviews on a story like this are flames. *horror* Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of flaming, but you do have a few things to straigten out so that we can enjoy your story properly, in the fashion Tolkien might have written it.

Firstly: Este is a Valier, isn't she? I think you meant to set your character to Estel.

Secondly: You can't use ** in a story. Italics will do really nicely for that. Don't you think it would seem a lot more professional?

Thirdly: You're too skilled a writer to need those silly brackets. Instead of the brackets, give us nice juicy description of what's happening. WHile we're on that topic

Fourthly: Give us loads more description if you want your story to be awesome. We want all the gory details, that's why we're reading this! It starts to get a little boring otherwise.

Fifthly: This is the most difficult part. Try to give your story a plot, even if it's a really simple one. In this story you could make some challenges that Estel has to overcome, like, for example, trying to open the door while holding the tray. Make a big deal about it so we feel sorry for him. That type of thing.

You might be feeling a little overwhelmed now, but a few fics down the line you'll be doing most of those things without thinking. The trik is to get yourself trained into the habit right from the start. I think this story is cute and while the idea in itself is not hugely original, you have some very nice original details.

Now that's just the start *horrified screams perhaps?* I'm quite serious. To write mindblowingly awesome fanfiction (I'm not sure yet how good you could get, but I'm sure you have a bit of talent) you're going to have to put in /really hard work/. It sucks. I wish I could write a piece of fiction that gets positive reviews, even in the big world of ffn, without putting in a lot of time, but most of my six-hundred-odd word chapters take me hours to write and then I can still spend days arguing with my beta about them. I should admit that I'm a perfectionist though. You don't have to take quite that long about it!

There are a number of rules and techniques that you'll have to learn to become a great writer, though. A really good beta reader can help you out there.

Is there a 'subscribe to author' option on this site? I'd like to know whn you write more so I can come check out your progress and leave scary reviews. Mwahahaha. Okay, well hopefully it wasn't too scary.

Happy writing,
Charli

PS If you're interested in reading some of those mindblowingly awesome fanfiction works I mentioned, just let me know and I'll give you some links to fanfiction.net. You don't have to join or anything, but I think you might like to see the standards there as they compare to this site. Maybe. C

Author's Response: I reread Breakfast for Ada and I didn't come across where I wrote Este. But if I missed it again, thanks for informing me. I agree that describing things and using italics is much more professional. I reread it as I said and I am not happy with myself for leaving it that undone. You think I'm skilled? I am a complete novice! But I love to read (or otherwise I wouldn't be on this site, I mean LOTR is over a thousand pages and I've read the SIlmarillion three times!) Description - ouch. I know I need to work on that. I love good description but it always seems like I can never do that myself. But it's better to work on it here than out in the Real World where people are allowed to flame:)) Gory details - I can do that. Make Estel have to creep around more, maybe almost get caught . . . you have my brain reeling with possibilities. A plot - that backbone of the whole story, or foundation, right? If I have a lousy foundation, I have a Leaning Tower of Pisa on my hands - beautiful but a thing with something wrong with it. Okay. Writing is a life-long commitment, I'll always be perfecting it, I guess. I know that I will have to pour my life into this - my blood and I am willing to do that. When I do something, I've come to realize, I try my herdest to best represent myself and I didn't really do that with my earlier works. I just whipped them off and haven't read them since. That was wrong of me. I need to not just carelessly throw works out there just to hear from people - I need to write works because something has touched me and when I write, I need to do it frm my soul, not just because. I am a perfectionist also but I also can just throw things aside. I have a lot of learning and growing to do I know. But I am willing to and that sometimes is a lot different than other people. They just wnat to be great immediately; they don't want to take the time. Yes, you can receive e-mails when your fav. authors write something new. Go to your Account info. There will be a place to go and you can choose. I forget what one it is but just try to find it. It's worth it! (Especially if you're going to be watching . . .:)) Your review isn't scary. You are helping me like no one else has. Thanks. You make me a little nervous but I need that to grow. I only get nervous around people when I know they can help me - it really helps me listen, especially if they will be watching what I do. I have a responsibility and I always fulfill responsibilities. I have checked out fanfiction.net but didn't really read anything. I will but my day is so full! I'm reading about King Arthur for my novel, learning Old Icelandic, checking out this site, and trying to write more of my novel. The day is soon done! You are intriguing me! (Did I spell that wrong?) Are you a writer in the Real World? Because if you have written any books, I'd love to read them! Thanks again!

Reviewer: Ar-feiniel Signed [Report This]
Date: 18/11/08 - 11:09 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

You know, after reading this...I got this....* Gulps *

I can't believe I'm saying
this...

...warm....and...fuzzy feeling.

* Looks down at chest where heart should be *

And I thought it was all cobwebs...

Cute story, though.
Fei.

Author's Response: Thanks!!!

Reviewer: Losseflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/11/08 - 05:14 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww........that sounds like what I used to do for my dad! How adorable! By the way............WHY HAVN"T YOU REVIEWED CHPTERS 9 AND 10??????!!!!!!???? YOUR MY ONE CONSTANT!!!!! *(sobbibg)*
-Losseflame

Reviewer: meerkatalex Signed [Report This]
Date: 31/10/08 - 10:49 am Title: Breakfast in Bed

Aw, it's cute! I love it! Afterthought: Is Estel what Aragorn was called when he lived in Rivendell?

Author's Response: Yes, he was called Hope (Estel). Thanks, I hoped it was cute.

Reviewer: elven lily Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/10/08 - 07:14 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Hello, Shadow Maiden! About sending me an email through the site, it's really simple. All you have to do is go to my profile and right at the top, by my penname, it has the option "Contact". You can shoot me a message using that. It will send the message to my email, which I check daily. Once I have your email, we can just communicate through that and not have to use the site at all. I tried about a month ago to email through the site about helping you, but you must not have gotten it for one reason or another (computers are so touchy sometimes!), I should also warn you that my email account is under another name, just so you know. I look forward to hearing from you and if for some reason, emailing doesn't work, we can try something else. : )
Wishing you a wonderful day,
elven lily

Reviewer: elven lily Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/10/08 - 04:57 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Shadow Maiden,
About sending me your work, it would seem to be a better situation if you could send it to my email through the website. If you don't know how to do that, I can tell you. The problems with posting it in a review would be that a, everyone would see it, and b, it takes up a lot of space in the review pane. I also wanted you to know that I do not read or beta things over the PG-13 rating or that contain slash/mpreg/erotica/anything else of that sort. As long as your work meets those reqiurements, I'd be happy to see what I can do for you!
Have a wonderful day,
elven lily

Author's Response: I know about the review thing. *smacks forehead* Duh! Sometimes I'm the most stupid person I know. Anyway, could you tell me about e-mailing through the website? If I was writing anything over PG-13, it would be for torture, never language or sex or anything like that. I hate stories where the only thing going for them is the above. I'm glad that we are able to form some kind of inner community of people who care deeply about Middle-earth as Tolkien intended it, not like others. I'm not trying to flame but it gets pretty annoying when you check out the Story of the Moment and all you see is sex and slash. Anyway, you should check out I am an Elf, she's hilarious! Thanks again for helping me. I will have some stories coming to you soon. Namarie, and may Eru keep you well.

Reviewer: Lady of the Lake Signed [Report This]
Date: 27/09/08 - 12:55 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

I love it! He sounds so innocent. I hope you keep writing some good stories!

Author's Response: I hope I keep writing good stories too *laughs* I try. Thanks for reading and I look forward to other comments. Namarie

Reviewer: elven lily Signed [Report This]
Date: 20/09/08 - 09:43 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

That was sweet. I love reading about Estel's early years and you captured his spirit well. I also admire the way you portrayed Elrond, as he can come off as being cold in a lot of fics. Scribe and I have talked a little bit about you and I am willing to help you in whatever way I can, though I'm not sure what it is that you would like for me to do. If you could email me through the site, that would be fabulous, as I check email more often than I do my fanfiction account. I am busy, but I am more than willing to fit you into my schedule! : )
Waiting to hear from you,
elven lily

Author's Response: I am so touched that you would change a part of your schedule for me! Thank you so much. And I'm happy and surprised that Scribe and you are talking about me. He seems like a very nice guy and I'm glad I'm getting to be his friend. Um, if you could be a beta reader, that would be great. I have to figure out how I'm going to get my stories to you, though. Maybe I could send them through a review spot to you. (I tend to ramble *Smiles*) Talk to you later.

Reviewer: Ria Signed [Report This]
Date: 20/09/08 - 08:03 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Oh, very sweet. I like the twins' looking out for him. My material culture beef: I would guess that he'd use a toast fork or something similar over a fire, rather than heating up a wood-burning stove.

Author's Response: Yeah, I wasn't sure about that. Maybe I'll go back and use your advise. Thank you very much for reviewing and feel free to check out my "Musings".

Reviewer: caladhiel amariel Signed [Report This]
Date: 16/09/08 - 05:01 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

Very humourous and cute, well written; i particularly like the description of the "breakfast".

Reviewer: Sil Greenleaf Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/09/08 - 01:53 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

This was a really sweet and well written story. I would love to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. It just came to me as I was sitting at my computer and eating breakfast (which was toast). Thanks again and I read your poem I just forgot to review, I had other things I had to do quickly. Sorry. Shadow Maiden

Reviewer: elfenears Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/08/08 - 01:51 pm Title: Breakfast in Bed

really cute little piece of writing, love to read more of your work when you put more up. only one little pointer, put some paragraph spacing in. it doesnt really matter as this is a short piece but if any longer it helps the reader :)
thanks for writing and keep up the good work

Author's Response: Yeah, I agree. Sorry *Smiles*. Thank you for reading my story. My other one was weird. Shadow Maiden

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