Very well written! I love the comfort between Legolas and Arwen in the first chapter, and Elrond's reflections at the beginning of the second chapter. It's easy to assume from watching the movies that Elrond felt a little coldly toward Aragorn, but in reality he was like a father to him. Very good job conveying his true feelings. Keep up the good work!
Well, this story shows a well written relationship that I have not read about before between two Elves. As not many people write about it I was unsure at first, but this is delicately and well-written. I love it!
Author's Response: Thank you! I thought it would be a different thing to write about and i am enjoying writing it, thanks for your comment!
Hi, just wanted to say well done with this; you have a real way with words and your descriptive passages are gorgeous. Something to bear in mind for your next post, though - be careful with your capital letters. I'm sure when you omit them it's just a typo, but it looks slightly jarring on the page...well, screen, I suppose.
I liked this a lot though, xFanarix is right, you do have a gift. It would be good to see more from you soon - I'll keep my eyes open for your stuff.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! It's great to hear from you.I'm hoping to post more soon. Thanks again!
Well written indeed. Be proud!
Just one small criticism this time! (sorry) In the second paragraph, the word dear is used twice very close together which sounds a little odd. But this is nothing, I loved the paragraph, and the whole story.
I would also add that these chapters are pretty short . . not necessarily a criticism as the writing is amazing, but it would probably improve your stories to add to and develop each chapter further.
I loved the final sentence! Just had to say that. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you! it means so much that you enjoyed it; i write to entertain so im glad it's entertained! i really love to write so i like to recieve things that i can work on. Really glad you enjoyed it, thank you!!
You have a gift for poetry... The way you describe the characters and their mood is poetical, almost a lyrical.
Keep it up!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, i absolutley love writing so comments like this is really really appreciated! thank you!
Oh, yes, yes, you have a gift for writing. Don't worry about that d;-). Lovely flow, and if you are a new author, I am most impressed, the world needs more new talent. ( So does Tolkien fanfic )
I have used words which are incorrect, and thought, " It sounds right, " only to be told, or to realize that it is not right within the context. Bah! However, there is a good side to that; it shows that you like words and look for different ones, rather than use well known ones all the time. This is a very good thing, as words are the building blocks of stories, and to have a love of words means you're more than half way there.
Since I like to use different words, I look on Thesaurus.com, for instance " anger " is one that comes up a lot in my work, lol, and if you type in " anger " you will get many different words to use instead of it. So Thesaurus.com is a very helpful site when you're writing, and Dictionary.com, which you can access from the same page, is handy if you're not quite clear on a word meaning.
Bore does sound good, yes, it's just not correct in that context, although changing it does not matter, since it's a great sentence, whatever you use, you could say " The moon offered her no comfort, " but the sentence is lovely, with whatever word.
I hope we'll see more of you, perhaps writing longer stories, as you have that in you.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your help and i'll take that on board. i will write longer stories as soon as i get the inspiration. Thanks again, take care!
Hi there. I must say I do like this, I like your style of writing. I would say start a fresh paragraph when some-one speaks.
I also agree with the use of ' bore " The stars bore her no comfort. Bore would be used as " She bore a heavy burden, she bore a child, " I would have just used " gave " The stars gave her no comfort . However, it's a very nice sentence. You use imagery well, so keep on writing, you have the gift. :)
Author's Response: You really think so, thank you so much!! im not sure why i used "bore", it just seemed to flow.... thanks for the review, i really appreciate it! take care!
I enjoyed this, it was well written and had some beautiful language.
All I would say is that speech should begin on a new line and always end with a punctuation mark before the speech mark.
If I'm really being picky, her speech in the last paragraph is just a little confusing and the use of the word 'bore' to mean 'produce' (which I presume you mean) is somewhat uncommon.
Sorry if I'm being too negative, I really did like it and hope you keep this story going. Well done and keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you! i'm glad you liked it and i didn't realise that i didn't put the punctuation in! i'll sort out the spacing and i'll get the next part ASAP! thank you for reviewing!
I like it, it sets the tone very nicely. I would have to say though, please make the chapters longer. Thanx!
Author's Response: Thank you! i am glad you like it, i havent finished so it will be much longer, i just wanted to see if it was good enough to continue with it. Thanks again!