Reviews For Broken
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Title: Answers Reviewer: superweirdgirls12 Signed
hey,i had to learn about charlie gordon too!! cool! or maybe it's not. but i think it is.
great story so far :)
Date: May 11 2010 01:13 pm [Report This]
Title: Landion Reviewer: superweirdgirls12 Signed
"So swiftly does summer fade to winter..."
Ooh how pretty. It's like being read Shakespeare live!
hahahaha that part made me laugh sooo hard!!! again, i love it.
Date: May 11 2010 01:12 pm [Report This]
Title: Awake Reviewer: superweirdgirls12 Signed
love it!!!!
Date: May 11 2010 01:09 pm [Report This]
Title: Caught! Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
By Breathtakingly Exciding do you mean having Alice shout Sic Semper Tyrannus?
Honestly, Fei, I’m not kidding, I liked the end - I like it precisely because when you jump from a balcony the rope/banner is *supposed* to hold (unless you’re John Wilkes Booth) and usually you’re *supposed* to say just “it went dark”. No, you gave a concentric account of the blacking out. That’s more interesting, if more gritty. Or Van maybe getting at, uh, having all that go into a flashback when she wakes up again. Such as have the chapter end when she jumps off the balcony to the gasps and screams of onlooking Dwarves, turning the end more into a literal cliffhanger. *shrugs*
Heh, reminds me of when I would in my kindergarten years jump off my swingset – pretending to be an escaping princess, if you’d believe it – and when I landed it always felt like my legs snapped. And I climbed back up and did it again. (Wow, I was weird.)
Well, Alice’s sensation was twenty times worse… I’m feeling pretty bad for her right now.
Leading up to that was utter suspense. So much sneaking set my senses on edge. Even with all those thinned nerves, it’s amazing she could remember to be honest about her “borrowing”. : )
I actually like to write in calligraphy. If I’m not using an edged pen my handwriting is deplorable. I had an art teacher who could do it much better… when she got the pen into her hand it was like she was, I dunno how to describe it, she made music with the ink.
Ah… Alice’s captor… one of our lost twins, perhaps? That was not a very good first impression!
Danke schon, but I’m not a great writer… Example - here’s my Great brainstorm for a Galdor/Legolas conversation: “Hi, the name’s Galdor; do you like trees?” (back to the drawing board)
Maedhros coffee hair? Nuh, I really think highlights in dark hair is cute. : D If I had highlights, no one would ever know. Be glad you haven’t brothers who don’t cut their fingernails. The effect is what I’ve called “Saruman manicures”. *shivers*
I never did hear of “Rock Me Amadeus”. Quite a title, though; what’s it like? For some reason I’m imaging Greek philosophers with guitars… and its sound… you don’t want to know! : P

Author's Response: *Laughs* I was going to have Alice shout that, just for you. But voted it down, because she probably wasn’t even thinking of making a spoof of falling to her death. I was going to leave a cliffhanger at when she jumps -- but didn’t because I have been doing to many cliffhangers. Maybe I should change that to a flashback. You’re not weird – I did the same thing when I was little! I like calligraphy too; I’m just terrible at it. The Art teacher wasn’t helping either, for I am left-handed and they were a righty. Grr… I’m better at Chinese Characters. I can’t tell you if her captor is a twin or not, that would just ruin my fun. Oh, bitte! You’re a wunderbar writer, Kitt! (Sorry, studying from my German quiz) I’ve been wanting to do an epic tragedy 1 chapter story on Maedhros when Fingon dies, but I’ll I have come up with is: Maglor: “Why won’t you let anyone in?” Grief-stricken Maedhros: “Because these moments, are beautiful as they are, are evil when they are gone.” – but I’m just copywriting from the movie Ultra Violet! Oh, “Rock Me Amadeus” is German Rap. I have no idea what the Falco is saying – but it sounds awesome. My class listened to it because we’re watching the movie “Amadeus” and we’re learning about him. Ooo, a Composer from Mozart’s time (And I think knew him) that tried to comment suicide, ended up in a nut house, told the priest his story. Really, the movie is kinda cool. Have you ever seen it?
Date: Jan 24 2009 12:31 pm [Report This]
Title: Sneaking Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
Middle-earth bathrooms… that’s a topic that does not come up very often. Especially DWARF bathrooms. (Ew. Yuck. Bleh.)

Gandalf: Behold, the great dwarf bathroom of Pottydelf!

Sam: That's an eye-opener and no mistake.

Pippin: (shoves his way forward) Great! I have to go-o!

Gandalf: Stay, Peregrine Took! You know not what it may hold!

Pippin: (potty-dance) Don’t care!!!

Legolas: Many horrors dwell in the deep places of the world.

Pippin: (runs)

1 minute later…

Pippin: AHHHH!!! (loping over, toilet paper on foot)

Fellowship turns to look.

Gandalf: (grabs Pip and shakes) You’ve woken the nameless! RUN!!!

Gimli: Durin’s bane! (hides face)

From the dark depths comes a terror, squelching with each step, oozing and reeking, looking mildly like mix between a toilet plunger and the Grinch…

Well… I don’t know where that came from. And here I’ll be eating dinner in a minute.
Punching yourself in the stomach is doesn’t seem to be an effective way to silence it. Not that I ever tried to, mind.
Working up the suspense! My own palms are sweating! To be continued??? NO!!!!
Oh, wait.
That was close. Mmm. Purple grapes – I was just craving them. All I have are sour green grapes. Sigh.
Another cliffy! *pouts* How far will she get… and what horrors may lie behind this door…?
-Kitt : )

Author's Response: Well, Pippin totally could have peed in the water before the Watcher attacked Frodo. Or he could have peed *on* the Watcher. *Laughs* Pottydelf. I love that. Well, if I had about two seconds to think about getting my tummy to shut up, I would punch it. I have tried it and it doesn’t work. My stomach only growled louder. Just wait and you’ll find out. I’m not spoiling this for you. >:)
Date: Jan 17 2009 05:53 pm [Report This]
Title: Shadows Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
Ah, I think Barney is the most horrific of the options... *shivers*
I want to see what she's about to stumble into! A Dwarven ball? *imagines twirling tootoo-ed Dwarves... slaps self* Will the twins chop her head off?
Being in Alice's head is fun. Such random thoughts that can go through the brain when one is stumbling down a trackless cave... I'd probably chicken out and run back to the elven jail! Still, I feel an electric jolt of discovery from that door... *squeals excidedly* I can't wait to see.
-Kitt : )

Author's Response: Thanks, Kitt. Actually, you imagining a Dwarven ball is not nearly as… odd as what I thought/dreamed of this morning. I mean, honestly, I burst out laughing when it was over. Then, I was frightened for the rest of the morning. Allow me to explain. Okay, so it’s morning and I’m in school and am half asleep. What’s new? Well, out of nowhere I get this random dream/vision-thing. It was really weird because one moment I’m staring at my pencil, the next I am very clearly viewing… the Feanorions break-dancing. Allow me to say VERY CLEARY again: VERY CLEARLY. Yep. It was really rather scary because they’re actually really good. Especially Maedhros… Mmm…*Slaps self* Ah! Stop thinking like that! I don’t know, we were in Doriath, in this large stone-cave courtyard thing (I can only assume that it was King Thingol’s halls) and I was standing with Maedhros, looking around. Out of nowhere I blinked and the Fellowship (not including Gandalf or Boromir) was standing in this line. The Feanorions were also in a line standing across from the Fellowship. Frightened, I looked to Maedhros. He folded his arms across his chest and looked like nothing out-of-the-ordinary was going on. I turned back to the stone-cave courtyard-thing and both groups were in the middle of a break-dancing routine. I’m dead serious. Break-dancing. Elves – break-dancing; The FEANORIONS break-dancing. Gulp. I mean, honestly; just try to imagine that. I can’t really describe it to you but it was like watching one of those break dancing movies (which, I’ve only seen one) Anyway, after a few traumatizing moments, the Feanorions discover that they are being “owned” by a couple of old-school spinning-around-curled-up-in-balls-one-the-floor Hobbits. So, the brothers decide to bring out their “secret weapon” – Maedhros. Yep. So, Amrod and Amras run over to where Maedhros and I are standing. First Maedhros shakes his head violently, trying not to get involved, as he tries to back away. He tries to act all “No, I can’t. I’m terrible.” Well, each of the twins grabs one of his hands (apparently he has both) and pulls him over to join the battle. I can’t really explain what he did… but he is AMAZING. Then, before Maedhros could finish, I saw my pencil again and realized that I began daydreaming in the middle of my Spanish Class. After trying to choke down my laughter, I sighed and continued on a regular day in school. Well, anyway, sorry about that off-topic story. No, the twins will not chop off Alice’s head. I’m actually debating on whether I want to torture Alice or not. So… I get to ponder that. I know I’m doing an interrogation but that’s it. Yeah, Alice is a lot of fun to write. * Laughs* Same here. I think I’d walk at least a few steps in, decide that Barney the Dinosaur is going to eat me if I continue down, THEN run back to the Celondim Jail.
Date: Jan 14 2009 01:08 pm [Report This]
Title: Cave Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
I just saw the addition to the “Snowball Fight” - I was laughing hysterically. Medical kelp! (Hey, maybe, maybe, it'll help - wait "kelp" – Gollum’s skin-pallor).
Aw, Pip's so cute when he's unconscious... *aside* did we have to wake him? *dodges mushroom-shaped iceball* Right, sorry!
You know, the pink trees almost sound like props that would come with a Barbie set. I liked Alice’s comparison of her boredom to Gollum’s. Well, I guess Gollum was entertained, but that’s a matter of opinionsss. Ah, it can’t be that strange to be talking to yourself like Gollum. We means, who doesn’t? (Um, right?)
So the twins were raised by Dwarves? Ain’t nothing more exciting than a lost Dwarven city! I’ve written (or meant to write) outlines of stories about them… and something about “A Journey to the Center of Middle-earth” involving several explorers going down into Moria… I started that with my brothers but it never got far.
I like long explanations. The longer the better! The intrigue in the Gondor/Rohen war sounds fascinating.
Pshah, your dreams are interesting… mine are usually painful.
I think making Christmas cookies is hard enough without Merry and Pippin. : ) I’m trying to picture Thorin and co. swinging through Mirkwood… yeah, Thorin doing The Tarzan yell, Bombur getting stuck between two trees... I might have had one or two with Orlando but I can never remember them. Oh, in one dream (non-Arda) all the Union generals my subconscious could conjure up were on my back porch. A messy battle was coming: the Rebels were coming up from the cornfield, and I by the garage sat with a very handsome, young officer… and bother, I woke up before it got interesting.
*laughs* Yeah, the High elf necklace might be hard to explain. I have Galadriel’s ring (Nenya?) and I’d wear it except it slides off even my thumb. (And you may guess, I wish it were the Ring of Fire… and then I could be Círdan!)
Would the Dwarvish accents be like Scottish accents? Not that I understand that since Dwarves are most certainly not Scottish. Oh well.
I do hope to read "Return to Me" next.
Happy New Year! : )

Author's Response: Actually, the Medical-Healing Kelp turned Gollum into a neon green color (Sorry Gollum, I guess that tan you really want will have to wait until summer). *Laughs!* I never thought of the Pink Trees like that. Weird, I was thinking about writing a “Journey to the Center of Middle-Earth” too… but decided against it. Have you seen the movie? Yikes, now I’m the one writing a synopsis! I’ll try to write it up when I’m done writing “Feanorian Food Fight”. Then again, I could just start writing when I’m done responding…I have nothing better to do… Yep. That could work. I can’t bake cookies for life. I had that Merry and Pippin dream right after I went to bed from having to bake cookies for 10 hours. Surprisingly, I made about three batches all by my self without burning a single cookie! Nuts! I need to knock on wood now! *Looks around and sees no wood* Rats! *Turns to Pippin* Pardon me, Pip. I need to borrow your head. *Knocks on Pippin’s head* Thanks! No more jinx! Muhahaha! (Pippin’s green eyes fill with tears) Pippin: I go from having no brain to having a wood head in a week! You’re so hurtful, Fei! *Runs away sobbing* Uh… are you going to chase after him or am I? Aw, I love Bombur! I felt so bad when Thorin’s Co. was making fun of him for being fat at the River! Sweet! A handsome solider coming to my house would be splendid! Hey, if Nenya keeps sliding off your finger when put it on a chain and say “Look! Sauron made a new Ring!” That’s what I would do (beings that I have long skinny fingers, it’s impossible to find a ring that fits. Grrr…) Yeah, I’ll ask my brother Van about helping me with the Scottish/Dwarfish accent. I kinda wish I have something of Maedhros’ but he does really have anything like Nerya. Oh wait! I could get a shackle and, like, a three-link chain put it around my right wrist walk around. Anyone who asks about it I could say cheesy lines like: “What? Latest in Arda fashion.” –Or- “This is what happens when you beat Morgoth at Twister.” –Or- “Child abuse. Not fun.” -OR- “What? You don’t like the chain?! Maglor, Celegorm, etc! I think we may need to start the Fourth Kin-Slaying!” Or I could babble Elvish insults! Happy New Year to you too Kitt! :P
Date: Jan 01 2009 09:04 am [Report This]
Title: Answers Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
This post-4th Age history is interesting. Gondor and Rohan fought? Orc rebellions? (Sounds almost like in Harry Potter *g*). A race of Time Traveling Elves is rather different. That could turn into an epic or something. I’ve often wished I had an ancient Elvish heirloom… and seriously that is true. But Alice is right – what are the odds? (So, yeah, I’m a little jealous). Oh, my brothers would be happy Gothmog lived; for some reason they’re fond of him.
Yeah, I’ve often tried to hard to dream myself to Arda… I think that’s why I’m so cold to Legolas whenever I meet him; if I tried to even shake his hand I would go insane and burst out of my dream bubble. Actually one of my most vivid dreams was a LotR one… I was Legolas when they were surrounded by the Riders of Rohan, and instead of putting my bow down, I shot Eomer. And that was kind of funny up till all the Riders plunged their spears into me. That HURT. In another dream, one less painful, I was in the Council of Elrond, taking notes, when one of my little brothers ran and started to dance. For a minute everyone just stared, then Elrond ordered him to be thrown out the window, and we proceeded. Oh! Suddenly I thought of another dream that was strange. I was Legolas again and had somehow learned that Thranduil was being possessed by Saruman, Theoden-ishly. I think I went to Mirkwood to save him, after making a hard choice to leave behind the Quest… that might make a good fanfic; maybe.
OK. Well, so the missing persons are Dior’s sons? Because that would be cool if they were teleported or… whatever. That too has a good epic-ring to it: The Quest for Dior’s Sons In-between Time. (or not)
I cannot wait like to see more of this 5th Age of grumpy Elves. : )

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted the post-Fourth Age to have an interesting history! Yes, Rohan and Gondor fought -- unusual, eh? The Civil War between Rohan and Gondor started AFTER Eomer and Aragorn were rulers. To save you the long explanation: (unless you want to hear it, do you?) Eomer, Faramir, and Aragorn died. Rohan, having no other heir, made Eowyn their Queen (Rohan does the whole King/Queen thing, right? Or is it Lords? Oh well. It’s Queen now…). Well, let’s just say Eowyn went mad/distraught after Faramir’s and Eomers death; savvy? (Sorry, I just watched POTC 1) And well, things got out of hand. Okay, the whole Orc Rebellion was for my Ada. He is a BIG fan of Gothmog. Allow me to capitalize ‘big’ again… BIG. Alright. I’ve had my fun with Caps Lock. Oh! So, there *are* other Gothmog fans? Cool! I’ll have to tell my Ada that. You see, I promised my Ada that I would honor Gothmog in at least one of my stories. I was going to have Gothmog make some random epic speech in “Fei’s Arena” but after Van took over it, well, we never got to it… So, I decided to have an Orc Rebellion in “Broken”. Uh, I really hate to broadcast for myself but if you want more Time Traveling Elves then check out “Return to Me”. I based Alice’s Necklace off of Caladhiel’s Necklace and, well, I have an “arrowhead necklace” so, :P. My arrowhead necklace looks kind of Elvish. (Like something you might find in Rivendell. I used to call it my “High Elf Necklace” But switched it to my “Arrowhead Necklace” when I grew weary of trying to explain the whole “high elf” thing when people asked me about my necklace. Actually, while wearing it, I once had someone ask if my necklace belonged to an Egyptian Queen…?) Uh, anyway… Cool dreams! I wish mine were funny-random-interesting like that! It must have been cool beginning in Legolas’ head. I was wrong when I said RANDOM – your dreams are RANDOM. Mine are WEIRD. The Legolas/Thranduil one sounds very fascinating – you should write a story about that (Or another synopsis, lol). Hmmm, other then my “Hangin’ with Maedhros” I have dreamt a few others (that I can remember of the top of my head) Arda-ish dreams and they are as follows: I once dreamt that Legolas, Gimli , Thorin’s Company, and I were swinging on vines (Tarzan style) through Mirkwood, I had my “Return to Me” dream where I was Caladhiel and I got to chat with Orlando, I had this one dream where I was talking to Ecthelion near this lake. I have dreamt of Fingon’s death (*tear*) and I had one where I was baking Christmas Cookies with Merry and Pippin (Pippin spilled flour all of me and Merry). Another I had was when I was bickering with Orlando over a boat name (that last one was extremely bizarre…but very true!). Well, all in all your dreams are better then mine. Hey! You got it! The twins are Elured and Elurin! *High five* I wanted to fill the gap of their “absence”. Well, they could have Time Traveled but I was thinking something of they are rulers of this lost Dwarf City and they have stayed in the cave (that Alice is about to wonder into) for so long because they fear what other Elves would think of them since they were raised by Dwarves and what not but I’m having some trouble thinking of how I’m going to explain all of this and write it with a few Dwarfish accents – I’ve never done one before. Thanks for the name suggestion -- I am currently trying to come up with a better title because I couldn’t originally think of one and only named it “Broken” because I was listening to a song named “Broken” when I filled in the title. Ah yes! The grumpy Elves, again, I wanted to be different! I mean, come on, Elves rn't perfect!
Date: Dec 30 2008 11:53 am [Report This]
Title: Landion Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
I’ve never played the LotR online game. I’ve heard a lot about it. I think I would get into it except my internet connection is so *mumble* slow I have trouble doing what I SHOULD be doing. (That excludes fanfiction; happily most of these websites load fast. Most days).
Nice chapter. *laughs, chokes* Alice’s, er, over-amiable actions are funny. I’ve had dreams with Elves but never tackled them! Usually we just sidle past each other and then get walloped by orcs.
I never thought much about what temperature Elves must be. I guess they’d be warm, not clammy… *smacks self*
Well, I hope you continue with this because it is certainly different!
-Kitt : )

Author's Response: I stopped playing LOTRO because Leveling Up takes so long and the quests are annoying and impossible (in most cases). Yes, I love running around in Bree and the Shire (the details are amazing!) but the Game Quest is uberly-annoying. I mean, hunting with Aragorn was cool but rescuing these two Hobbits (that I never have heard of) from this hard Goblin boss was weird. Although, watching a human turn into a Ring Wraith was awesome. But anyway, thanks! I was basing Alice’s reactions on what would happen if I were to wake up in Middle-Earth. My sister and I were talking one day and she was like, “What would you do if you randomly woke up in Middle-Earth, Fei?” I said: “I would run around screaming like a madman trying to hug every Elf I saw, you?” Alas! I may never know my real reaction would be, but I assume that would go insane with excitement and bewilderment. I don’t know about the hugging, though. Depends if Legolas and/or Maedhros were there ;). Hey, I dream about Elves too! Well, sort if. You see, whenever I have an Arda Dream I get so excited that I am actually dreaming of Arda that I wake myself up. My dreams are very…random. This one time, I dreamt that I was walking through the Trollshaws with Elladan and Elrohir we were walking and what not but then, for some reason I stopped and started crying…? I think it was because I missed my family or something. And I don’t know which one (I think it was Elladan) comes over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I don’t know. It was weird. I got so excited that I got to see the Twins that I immediately woke up. But get this; my left shoulder tingled. Weird, eh? I have given thought of what Elves temperature would be. I have always thought it would be lower (You know, colder) then a human’s because they are *not* human. It’s kind of hard to explain. Thanks; I really try to write stuff that is different! *Sighs* No matter how hard it may be…
Date: Dec 29 2008 10:19 am [Report This]
Title: Awake Reviewer: Kitt Otter Signed
Yay, I found the time to start reading a new story! This is very atmospheric; I feel sucked completely into her head. The colors! Why, is that normal to this Age or is she just a little dazed... but really, I love the descriptions and I'm curious about what happens next.
-Kitt : )

Author's Response: Oh, well, the colors are crazy because I began writing this story back when I was playing The Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar. Have you ever played LOTRO? Well, if you haven’t Celondim (Yes, it is a real place, or so I thought it was…) is where you “start off” in the game. Well, actually, I lied; you start off in this other Elf settlement higher in Ered Luin... Anyway, I digress, when I was running around the Forest around Celondim (I forget the name I just know it starts with a ‘F’ Falathorn or something) I noticed that it was colored funny. There were really pale pink trees and light purple grass! So, instead of doing the SAME OLD chick waking up in Rivendell I decided to have her wake up in Celondim in Ered Luin. There are also two other LOTRO crossovers here: Avorthal is really the Prince of Celondim and he is a royal pain in the butt! Stupid spoiled rich kid can’t stay out of trouble I had to go find him – again and again (Oh, I could tell you many saving-Avorthal stories, but I will save them for another day.)! As for my other LOTRO crossover: When Alice says, “Pink tree. Pink tree. Pink tree. Purple grass. Pink tree. Red tree!” In chapter four: Boredom, I am really using something that I personally said when I had to go on this quest to find a red tree in a sea of pink trees to retrieve a red leaf for these two brothers that don’t want to walk up a path to talk to each other… It was something about one wanted to leave for Valinor whereas the other wanted to stay in M-E longer so the one asked me to find him a Red Leaf from a mysterious Red Tree in the middle of no where to take to his brother to remind them of something from their childhoods so that the one brother would want to stay or something… Oh well. I forget. That was back when I was like, level 8. Now I’m in the Lone Lands and am a Level 25. Thanks for reading, Kitt! I will try to write more when I have more writers block or when I am bored out of my mind. I already know whom she’s going to find but I’m still working out the dialogue and her reaction and the back-story that I am going to fill in! Tolkien did leave these Twins fate a mystery…
Date: Dec 28 2008 03:18 pm [Report This]
Title: Landion Reviewer: Aviva Signed
Haha I was laughing out loud with this. Alice's reactions/thoughts were new and fresh in the "blast to ME" genre.

Brava, Brava!

Author's Response: Thanks :D I was hoping I'd entertain someone. I tried to imangine my reaction if I were to be warped into Middle-Earth. I would go absoultly go insane with happiness. Gotta loves those Elves...:D
Date: Oct 26 2008 04:56 pm [Report This]
Title: Awake Reviewer: Nioniel Signed
Well, I must say that I think that your writter's block was not complete. There is a saying that when a door closes a window opens. I like your latest story. But - maybe - you should lay off the greendome before you go to sleep!
xxoo Naneth

Author's Response: Le hannon, nana. :) Can't promise you about the greendome, I made a peace treaty with the "High" Elves. They are going to give me a monthly supply. If I stop pranking Erestor, that is. :)
Date: Sep 28 2008 05:37 pm [Report This]
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