i love the phrase "elleth magnet" it's very funny and you have a very readable writing style, i would, however, like the entries slightly longer. i love the way you have written from both points of view; they are both very similar but so different at the same time. they are perfect for each other!
Author's Response: thank you very much for this! XD i am taking on board the "longer chapters" view- it is quite common at the moment. I am aiming at finishing the whole fic, and then going back and enhancing and bulking out each chapter.
Another great chapter. I think its a really good idea to include the diaries of other elves. It would remove the chance of this being too repetitive (sorry, I can't think of the right word.)
About this chapter . . I really liked the beginning and the job offer as a story. All I could say is that maybe if the chapters were a little longer, that could maybe add to the story. Other than that, loved it.
Author's Response: cool. methinks the other characters wil enter once el and bree start to get to know eachother- galadriel for instance probably knows more than they do at the time... XD
You're right, she does sound young! But I don't mean that negatively, she probably would have been. It does also give great chances for character development etc.
Great story, great format. Keep writing.
Author's Response: thanks! i am going on the principal that el has a lot of experience- orphaned,brother dead and all events leading up to that. my bree hasnt really left lorien much, so she has been pretty sheltered and is quite childish fr her age...
I agree with Karlmir as for the date and the details. I like the diary format, it makes the story, how could i say it, more personal. I llok froward to reading the rest.
Author's Response: thanks! i will think about adding some dates etc soon, but right now i just want to get it all written! XD
This is a great idea for a story! How about adding dates to Elrond's journal entries? Also, throw in a couple of kitchen details now and then, like comments on his hobbies, local gossip, the weather, etc.
Author's Response: hmmm... i could try that i suppse... thanks for the idea! (try reading The Diary of Lord Elrond, it is in the same format!)
I really liked this extract. It has an oddly arrogant tone which I like in Elrond. Can't wait to read your view on Celebrian!
Author's Response: hehe thanks! i think you will probably find her to be more naive- younger sounding if that makes sense, but heck, read and enjoy!