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Reviewer: caladhiel amariel Signed [Report This]
Date: 27/10/08 - 04:28 pm Title: Relief - Celebrian

i love the phrase "elleth magnet" it's very funny and you have a very readable writing style, i would, however, like the entries slightly longer. i love the way you have written from both points of view; they are both very similar but so different at the same time. they are perfect for each other!

Author's Response: thank you very much for this! XD i am taking on board the "longer chapters" view- it is quite common at the moment. I am aiming at finishing the whole fic, and then going back and enhancing and bulking out each chapter.

Reviewer: Sil Greenleaf Signed [Report This]
Date: 16/10/08 - 06:55 pm Title: Offer Accepted -Elrond

Another great chapter. I think its a really good idea to include the diaries of other elves. It would remove the chance of this being too repetitive (sorry, I can't think of the right word.)

About this chapter . . I really liked the beginning and the job offer as a story. All I could say is that maybe if the chapters were a little longer, that could maybe add to the story. Other than that, loved it.

Keep writing!

Author's Response: cool. methinks the other characters wil enter once el and bree start to get to know eachother- galadriel for instance probably knows more than they do at the time... XD

Reviewer: Sil Greenleaf Signed [Report This]
Date: 16/10/08 - 06:46 pm Title: A Tutor Down... Celebrian

You're right, she does sound young! But I don't mean that negatively, she probably would have been. It does also give great chances for character development etc.

Great story, great format. Keep writing.

Author's Response: thanks! i am going on the principal that el has a lot of experience- orphaned,brother dead and all events leading up to that. my bree hasnt really left lorien much, so she has been pretty sheltered and is quite childish fr her age...

Reviewer: Formegil Signed [Report This]
Date: 14/10/08 - 07:44 pm Title: Job Offer - Elrond

I agree with Karlmir as for the date and the details. I like the diary format, it makes the story, how could i say it, more personal. I llok froward to reading the rest.

Author's Response: thanks! i will think about adding some dates etc soon, but right now i just want to get it all written! XD

Reviewer: Karlmir Stonewain Signed [Report This]
Date: 13/10/08 - 11:15 pm Title: Job Offer - Elrond

This is a great idea for a story! How about adding dates to Elrond's journal entries? Also, throw in a couple of kitchen details now and then, like comments on his hobbies, local gossip, the weather, etc.

Author's Response: hmmm... i could try that i suppse... thanks for the idea! (try reading The Diary of Lord Elrond, it is in the same format!)

Reviewer: Sil Greenleaf Signed [Report This]
Date: 13/10/08 - 07:38 pm Title: Job Offer - Elrond

I really liked this extract. It has an oddly arrogant tone which I like in Elrond. Can't wait to read your view on Celebrian!

Author's Response: hehe thanks! i think you will probably find her to be more naive- younger sounding if that makes sense, but heck, read and enjoy!

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