Please, do not take this down. It just needs some fixing up. One thing that I find to make a story easier to read is to have spaces between the paragraphs.
Author's Response: It does have spaces between paragraphs, at least on my screen :/ weird!
I really enjoyed this story the last time I read it and just couldn't keep away. Thanks for writing such a tender scene!
Author's Response: You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) this was the first fanfic I ever wrote, I have been debating whether or not to take it down, but if people are still reading and enjoying then I'll leave it. Thanks for R&Ring!
This is such a sweet little story...very thoughtful.
Author's Response: Hi Lorian! I'm sorry it took so long to respond, my email account isn't working so I didn't get the notification about your review. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I'm glad you enjoyed it :-)
Aw, that is sweet and nicely told. I think you could improve it though, by using the 'show don't tell' technique. Basically what that means is rather than saying 'he was touched', which is not very personal, say 'he felt tears welling up in his eyes' or 'a lump was beginning to form in his throat'. It will make your writing more personal and gripping.
Author's Response: Hi Charli, thank you for the advice, I'll bear that in mind for the future! Glad you liked the story :)
This was so beautifully written. I can't believe that this was your first fan fiction. You are an amazing writer! Please write more stories like this...wonderful work...this is going on my favorites! ~God bless
Thanks for reviewing my story. I am so glad you you liked it so much. Sorry you missed a class the morning after because of reading all night. You are right about the sentence structure in the example you gave. Thanks for the crit.
About your story I liked it a lot. Never read Eomer and Eowyn as children before, so it was an interesting idea.
Author's Response: Thanks, Rozzan; I enjoyed writing it! Can't wait to read more about Rowannen and Legolas...
I like this very much. It's beautifully structured and I am very surprised it is your first fanfic. I love the way you have portrayed the characters too, very realistic. :)
Author's Response: Thank you :) I'm pleased you liked it. Like i said to Arwyn, I was trying to keep true to the ways the characters behaved as adults while still giving them a definite childlike quality. I was so happy to get a review from you - I've just started reading your Dark Prince books and I love them!
This really is a lovely story and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry, but I can't give any criticism!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, I was so worried about posting! Thank you for reading, I'll definitely put up more stories now.
What a lovely little short story, It is very sweet without being mushy as sometimes stories involving character's as young children but young Eowyn is just so sweet and you have captured what I feel is Eomer so well too and the bond between them all. Very well done.
Author's Response: Thank you!! I was trying to keep their characters in line with the adults they develop into, and I'm so happy you thought Eowyn was sweet - I did worry I might have overdone the cute factor :p glad you enjoyed it.