Reviews For Three
You must login (register) to review.
Title: Childhood Reviewer: xFanarix Signed
Ah, so they're growing up. :) I must admit Filwyn kicking Leofwyne in the goolies made me choke. XD .

I like the fact they're older now, I don't read stories centered around children or teenagers, unless it's a part of the story before they grow up, but I have a habit of ' beginning from the beginning ' too, so I think you're correct in starting the story in their childhood and it's very nicely done.

You do use a lot of dialogue -- the first part of this chapter contained a great deal, the last part more description and then dialogue. I can't say it bothers me. Dialogue is necessary. I prefer * thoughts * and description, but at times we have to have speech and when it's between three people or more, you either have to write it third person omniscient or third person present. I've done both, although I prefer it when it's third person present, to speak from their perspective and add more * thoughts * , not simply a back-forth of speech. It's written both ways and neither is right or wrong, so it's really what you feel you prefer, I think.

Author's Response: OK, thank you for your help!! Glad you're still liking it; they won't be kids for much longer, it's getting hard to write :p thank you for reviewing, take care
Date: Nov 30 2008 12:16 am [Report This]
Title: Smile Reviewer: xFanarix Signed
This is a delightful chapter, and sounds very true to life, Haddan's reaction to the baby, and then having him hold her was a great touch :)

Author's Response: Thanks, so happy you liked it - like I just said to Anwyn, Haddan's behaviour is simliar to mine and my brother's when we got an unexpected little sister after wishing for a brother.
Date: Nov 23 2008 11:40 pm [Report This]
Title: Smile Reviewer: Anwyn Signed
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I really like this story and I think the idea of using the prompt's to create a story around is abseloutely brilliant as every chapter you add a little more and I think the depth that you give to your character's is just wonderful and reminds me why I love reading about OC's so much, well, well written ones at least which it is definately established yours are. Poor little Haddan, I understand his disappointment well as it took me years to get over the fact that I had a younger brother and not the younger sister I had wanted and that he was it, no more siblings but the last little part was very sweet and worked with the prompt very nicely,

Author's Response: Thank you Anywyn! It's funny you should say that, actually; this chapter was partly inspired by mine and my older brother's attitudes to our new baby sister when we were 5 and 6 respectively. We used to be constantly asking our parents "When will the baby go home?" and didn't quite realise that it wasn't that simple! Glad you enjoyed it, anyway; thanks for the review.
Date: Nov 23 2008 07:00 pm [Report This]
Title: Introduction Reviewer: xFanarix Signed
I love your writing style, and even the first few sentences clearly evokes an ' Anglo-Saxon ' type setting. The birthing was gritty, the death grim, but such things happened, and I don't mind grit, muck, blood and sweat at all, if it is within context.

This is a great start, and a mature voice, which is always a pleasure; a vivid and very realistic painting of the prologue. :)

Oh, and although OC's are apparently the least popular characters for people to read, that has never occurred to me. I have my Tolkien favorites to write of, mostly the Finwion's d;-) but as you know the main protagonist in my AU is an OC. A poor writer can butcher a wonderful canon character and a good writer can create a rich, deep and fascinating original one. Some of my favorite authors have developed OC's and OFC's with a real storyteller's skill, so please keep going :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the encouragement! Writing the brithing was a bit of a challenge, having never gone through it myself, so I'm glad you thought I hit the right notes. As always, I really appreciate your opinion!
Date: Nov 22 2008 01:46 am [Report This]
Title: Introduction Reviewer: Chaotic Demon Signed
Yay! A response to my challenge! 67% is definately one of the stranger prompts. Unfortunately, I didn't come up with the list. Anyway, this seems to be a very promising start. I look foreward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, glad you like it so far; I'm having a great time writing it.
Date: Nov 21 2008 07:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Introduction Reviewer: Anwyn Signed
It is true that some do not seem to apprechiate OC's but that is a personal choice. Personally I like OC's, I write using an OFC and I do not really care if a character is OC or canon as even a canon character can be written of in a very very poorly, well written, abseloutely any character can be intresting. I really like your style of your writing as I have read some of your other work and I feel you have a nice flow on the words and a mature voice when it comes to your writing and it lends a very nice sense of authenticity to your work. No, It was certainly not a "Goodness me!" kind of moment, lol, just one of those times that just cries for a solid curse I would think. I am intrigued about this challenge, does each 'Prompt' have to be covered in one ongoing story or can each prompt be a story into itself, I think it is quite good you are going to write an entire story around it as that is quite a challenge but I am curious and I don't quite understand.

Author's Response: The challenge summary doesn't actually say whether it should be one story or lots of disconnected ones, so I just assumed it didn't matter; this is just the approach that appealed to me. You're absolutely right to say it's quite a challenge, though, I'm a little worried about some of the prompts! They don't have to be taken in order either; Chaotic Demon says to just have fun, and I'm taking her at her word. Thanks for all your lovely comments about my work - nice to know it's appreciated!
Date: Nov 21 2008 07:35 pm [Report This]
Title: Introduction Reviewer: Anwyn Signed
I like this, I felt it was quite realistically written of the birth though poor Rheda, unfortunately such complications are not uncommon but only our knowledge of how to best deal with them has changed. I like stories written around OC's and so I will follow this one as this first chapter has already drawn me in and I look forward to seeing more of this story, though the fact it is written as a challenge really makes this intriguing. Also, I learned a Rohirrim curse word, It is good things all around! LOL! Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it...I put the warning about the OC's in the story notes because apparently a lot of people prefer to read stories mostly about canon characters, so I thought it was only fair to let people know what I was doing. About the cursing, not sure what the Professor would have to say about that, but I didn't think "Oh my godness!"-type exclamations would have been appropriate in that situation!! Thank you for your review, please keep me updated on your thoughts as the story progresses.
Date: Nov 21 2008 02:11 pm [Report This]
You must login (register) to review.