I very much enjoyed this story. It had the elusive quality I call "heart", which to me, means that the author loves the characters, and "gets" them.
Unlike many people, I don't have *one* favorite character: my favorite "character" is the deep friendship between all four of the hobbits. Any story which has that friendship as its focus is one that will appeal to me.
I liked the use of the movie-verse imagery, as Pippin awaited his fate, and the way that Arwen, Boromir and Theoden all came to him, to tell him of his choice. But of course, he knew it was not his time yet, not when he would be leaving so many of his dear ones bereft, especially Merry.
I also enjoyed seeing Frodo in "healer mode" which is something new and different.
I saw that you have a sequel, so I hope some of the mysteries of this story will be cleared up, like Fair's dreams of Faramir, for example.
Thank you for sharing this story!
Oh, poor Merry and Frodo!
Frodo thinks that his jewel from Arwen will help? Perhaps it will...
Oh my, Goldie and Fair are so sweet together.
Author's Response: Goldie and Fair exhibit the same basic sort of relationship as Frodo and Sam or Merry and Pippin share, but of course each individual relationship is different. They're the best of friends, and understand each other better anyone in the world and can therefore provide the best sort of comfort in times of trouble. -Traveller
In my effort to be helpful, I forgot to reivew the chapter! Sorry!
I think you used the flashback technique very well hear. My favorite is with Frodo and Pippin, I have to confess, I have a weakness for a musically-inclined Pippin. *grin* I hope that when Pippin got a little older, his cousin relented about the lessons! That would be a fun story to read: Frodo teaching Pippin to play the fiddle!
You mentioned in your notes about figuring out the hobbit/human age ratio. Actually, I have made such a chart myself! I've posted it in a few places:
Is in my LiveJournal. I figured it out, using an "almost two-thirds formula ( .64, as figured by Topas Took. It uses the differential between a human toddler of two and a hobbit faunt of three, and also the difference between a human just come of age at 21, and a hobbit coming of age at 33--this works out to almost two-thirds.)
However, I should mention that not everyone agrees with this. *Most* hobbit writers do, but some feel that hobbits age the same up until their tweens, when their growth slows down. Others use a sliding scale, so that the difference is more gradual. Some use 18 instead of 21 for the human coming of age reference, which skews everything a year or two younger. And there are many people who don't believe there is any real difference at all, and that hobbits just delay the coming of age to 33 for social reasons, not reasons to do with growth at all.
The main thing is to be consistent, whatever system you decide on.
I love the clever echo of Gandalf's words to Faramir of Ithilien.
I do find myself a little confused about some of the changes you've made to canon, but as it's an AU it works. I just have to wrap my brain around them.
Oh, what a neat idea to have Frodo become a healer when he returned!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I differ from other Hobbit-writers in that I prefer the term "doctor" to "healer", even though I know that Tolkien liked to use the word "healer". From your stories, I notice that you (as well as most others who write about Hobbits) tend to make the healers women. For some reason, I've always imagined them as male Hobbits. I guess I'm sort of thinking of it as a male-dominated society, like old England- men hold the "real jobs", while women are the housewives. However, Elanor Gamgee, ever the rebel, deviates from this stereotype, as will come up later in the sequel to this story, "Every Day". -Traveller
Hmm...so you've moved the Tooks, Brandybucks and Gamgees and all much closer together?
Author's Response: Yeah, I guess I have, haven't I? It's one of those things that just worked when I was creating the story in my head- I suppose I often sacrifice canon for what works with the story. Pippin and Merry actually live literally right next door to each other, and are neither in Tuckborough nor Buckland. I'm not exactly sure where they are yet- believe it or not, I actually don't have this entire story thought out, even after I've written it! It's just kind of how I function, I guess. I hope that makes sense... -Traveller
What an intriguing beginning! I like the idea of Frodo's return (done an AU like that myself, though I haven't posted it here yet) but this is quite different!
And it seems that young Faramir Took is dreaming of his namefather...what's happened to Faramir of Ithilien, I wonder?
I've just read this story all of the way through again, and am amazed at how good it is even reading it a second time. This story, whoever is reading this review, deserves to be in a collection of cute, angsty stories! ((Traveller, I have a collection of "Cute-Merry-Pippin stories" which you may add this to if you want, but you don't have to...) I'm going to write a list of why I love this story... (Contains spoilers to the story! Do not read if you haven't read the story all the way through!)
1) It corresponds with my beliefs of Pippin; he catches illnesses easily, he is strong and still has his auburn curls and bright green eyes.
2) It gives different people's opinions; Fair's, Diamond, etc, which shows how much they love him.
3) The relationship between all of the Hobbits is so acute and accurate that the scenes of them are so touching.
4) The angst is perfected to an extent that it reduces me to tears.
5) The brilliant author of this fic did not have the heart to kill Pippin, and this is the very best to show that you love him; nearly lose him, and then bring him back to his loved ones. ((Unlike me, I killed both Merry and dear little Pip in one of my stories! :( ))
Traveller's style of writing is kind of Tolkien-ish but more centered around our favourite Hobbits, and it contains more angst and drama than people like myself could hope for! She is an accomplished writer for her age and some of the lines in this story wrench my heart...
"But he didn’t regret it." When Frodo has given Merry the Elven-jewel to give to Pip, he is in so much pain and it cannot be helped, but he is helping Pip and he thinks that's all that matters, which is so like Frodo and his fellow Hobbits alike – they wish to see Pip better but don't like it when Frodo has to suffer, but it's the best way they can think of. *Sniff.* That is so beautiful!
This story is the work of an accomplished author and friend; dear Traveller! She deserves to be in everyone's favorites! I've said my bit, now please review her stories and have your say! I've read this through twie, which is a good sign! It shows that I love the story, and, more importantly, the author's style of writing. Keep going, Traveller!
Author's Response: Wow. Of all the wonderful reviews I have ever recieved, this is the first to leave me absolutely speechless. It took me all afternoon just to think of words to respond to it. You are such a sweet person, Emma (I hope you don't mind if I call you by your real name), and you must have many friends where you live (what country would that be, by the way?-just out of curiousity.). I would love to know you in "real life"! I'm so touched that a.) you took the time to reread my entire story again (that's sixty-seven and a half pages on Microsoft Word-how long did it take you?), and b.) wrote a list of things you loved about it! I am also honored that you compared me to Tolkien- the greatest writer ever! Yes, I've read the story where you killed both Merry and Pippin at the same time- how could you be so heartless?! (lol-just kidding!) That's a wonderful story, by the way. Please don't say that you were "reduced" to tears- I think that crying while you read a story is an honorable thing, because it symbolizes competence of the writer and good taste in the reader! Do you really think this would be considered a "Cute Merry-Pippin story"? Define cute. Lol- I love how you said "cute, angsty stories!" That's a paradox if I've ever heard one! :) I'll add it to your series if you believe it fits. What about your friendship challenge? Would this work for that? Let me know! Again, thank you so, so much for this wonderful review! You made my day- probably even my week! May you continue to write equally wonderful "cute, angsty stories!" Love always, -Traveller
I really loved this story, Travller. It was truly amazing beyond words. The message that is sends and everything is really beautiful, thank you so much for posting it. I am so glad Pippin finally got better; I was beginning to think that he wouldn’t make it! I absolutely loved the Beach part, it was incredibly moving and everyone was portrayed perfectly! A terrific ending to a wonderful story! This is going in my favorites, congratulations! I cannot wait for more stories by you. I will be sure to read and review. Yeah, now you’re stuck with me. :P
P.S. I think you are allowed to use song titles/lyrics as part of a fanfic, because I have and I'm not in Jail. *Looks around and then knocks on wood* Others have too...
Author's Response: LOL. I'm perfectly ok with being stuck with you! One condition though: you must keep reviewing, the longer the better! :) I love reviews, they absolutely make my day. I couldn't kill Pippin, I just couldn't. I love him waaaaay too much! Thank you for answering my question about song lyrics. I'm really glad you liked the vision scene- I thought hard about how I wanted to portray it. I really wanted Pippin to see Boromir again, and I just couldn't resist putting Theoden in there, because I think he knew that, even though he told Merry not to fight, he went anyway. I thought that Theoden would be proud of Merry's actions rather than dissapointed in them, and so I needed a way of letting Merry know that. In the next story in the series, I will put in a scene where Pippin actually tells Merry about his vision. I'm going to have to think over for awhile just how I want to do it, though, to make sure the emotion comes out perfect. Thank you so much for your compliments; that my story left you speechless makes me happy beyond words! Check out my short story, "In a Name", about how Pippin got to be called Pippin! Let me know what you think. Thanks a lot, -Traveller PS. Has anyone ever seen One Tree Hill or A Cinderella Story. Because I live in Wilmington, NC where they are currently filming One Tree Hill, and I swear on my life that I just saw CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY in the grocery store tonight. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOTNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a beautiful endingto your first and most emotional story! I hope you continue writing, and I'm glad that Pippin did recover! I thought he would, and I love the way you've worded this chapter! It was all worth waiting for and if I find out how to add favourites you will definately be one of mine! Congratulations and good luck on your next few stories - I'll look at the other one when I have a moment. Again, good luck, and an emotionaly good ending! I hope there'll be a sequel!
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! To be honest, I don't think I'd actually have the heart to kill Pippin, although I have given thought to what life in the Shire would have been like if he hadn't survived. It might make a good angsty "what if" story one day. To add to favorites, you just look on the story box (with the title, description, etc.), and towards the bottom there are things you can click on that say "add author to favorites" and "add story to favorites". You can also write a description as to why they're your favorite. I'm going to add you to my favorites, too, because I really enjoy reading your stories (especially the Merry-Pippin angst), and, as has been said by the both of us, our writing styles are very alike. Please do take a look at my other story. I was up until one-thirty this morning writing it (evil plot bunnies-attack!!!!), and although it's not an angst story, it is about darling Pippin, so I hope you will like it (please let me know). Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews and continued author-support! -Traveller PS. Sequel in the future. Need to get my thoughts together first.
Very good chapter. It made me cry a bit. Do write more soon.
Author's Response: I'm glad it made you cry, if you're the person that sort of enjoys crying over these things (like me!). If you're not, I'm sorry, but since you chose to read a story labelled "Angst", I'm assuming you do like a few tears once and awhile. This chapter was pretty much designed to make people cry (including me, apparently!). The final chapter of this story is coming up next, although it may be a while because I am studying for exams. Never fear, though, because I plan to make this a series! Thanks for your lovely comments and keep reading and reviewing! -Traveller
Shall we call the theme music again?
A very well-written chapter! Poor Frodo, he really needs his parents.
Author's Response: Duh duh dun is about right. I feel as though the death of Frodo's parents is often overlooked as just an excuse for him to go and live with Bilbo. I'm glad that you recognize the true emotional effect it had on him. I think that the graveyard was a good place to set this scene because the scene deals with trying to save someone from death and a graveyard pertains to death. Thanks for your comments and keep reading and reviewing! -Traveller
This chapter is very emotional, but you have said it yourself that Hobbits are amazingly emotional creatures. Please update soon as I cannot wait to read more! I hope Pip gets better...
"he’ll never crawl up next to me in bed during thunderstorms like he would always do when we were little" This line amazed me - as you know I've written a story about this! You and I have a lot in common; our writing styles, favourite characters and hopes to make stories that are dramatic and angsty. This is great, because I love these types of stories, just like you.
It is not bad or silly to admit that you've cried during writing your stories - in fact, that just means that you yourself have gone through an emotional journey in writing it. I fully understand as I am now on the brink of tears after reading this myself.
I love this story and think it is such a good plot, and the story also shows sides of Faramir and Goldilocks, whilst portraying them very well. I hope you continue writing - stick to the Hobbit stories and you will do great! best wishes in your future and present writing -
Author's Response: I love these long reviews! Please keep doing this! One of the reasons that I love writing about Hobbits so much is because of their dymamic personalities and tbeir emotions. When they feel something, they aren't afraid to show it, which actually kind of makes writing about them easier. This was the chapter that I just poured emotion into- I had been waiting a long time to write it, and the actual process was really fun, tears and all! I had been expecting to cry, but I think I ended up crying more than I expected. I feel like I know these characters personally, especially Merry and Pippin. I'm glad the chapter moved you almost to tears, as that was one of my aims in writing this very angsty and emotional scene. I really liked your story about thunder. For some reason it had always seemed to fit with Pippin's character to be afraid of thunder. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, this next chapter will be the last of this story. The good news is, there will be a sequel! Thanks for your awesome comments and keep reading and reviewing! -Traveller
Hey, I have an obsession with torturing my favorite character too! *Pulls on Legolas’ ear*
Anyway. On a more serious note: Aw, this chapter was so sad -- but so sweet as well! I loved the flashbacks. Especially the Nellie and Pippin one. Again, the emotions are written remarkably. I really do feel bad for Faramir and Nellie. I just want to hug Faramir. And I don’t hug. Um, just something I noticed: ‘ Fair did not respond. He simply continued to sob into her dress. She paused a moment, then continued in the same quiet voice, “Do you to be alone?” ’ – I think you missed a word. Is it supposed to be “Do you -want- to be alone?” Or “Do you -need- to be alone?”? Overall, very, very good job, Traveller! I really liked this chapter a lot. Best one yet! Brava, brava!
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out- it's fixed now. I guess that's what I get when I start typing so fast that I don't take the time to go back and edit. When I sat down to write the Nellie-Pippin flashback, I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be about- I just knew that I had to have one. I'm glad you liked my very spur-of-the-moment idea. I think it turned out pretty cute, myself. Hey, be nice to Legolas! (Lol). I guess I'm one to talk, though, because when the plot bunnies attack, Pippin suffers! Thanks for the comments and keep reading and reviewing! -Traveller
Well, this story is off to a promising start, and you say it's your first? Do you mean first lotr or first foray into any fandom? Well done! Since you say you are trying to understand more about the fandom, and movie vs book verse, I wanted to extend an invitation to join us at the LOTR Community GFic Group! You will find many like-minded and excellent writers there and I think you may enjoy it. Here's the link - I am one of the mods there. Cathleen
Author's Response: This is my first fandom venture! I actually tried to write somewhat of a fanfic/novel when I was in sixth grade taht pertained to LOTR, but I sort of gave up on that idea, and began thinking on this one, which has been pending in my mind for about four years or so now. I recently went back and read some parts of my old (handwritten) manuscripts, and decided that my new stuff sounded much more mature and that I liked it better. I'm glad you liked it too, and thanks for the invitation (I have accepted, and it says my membership is pending. I have never joined a yahoo group before, so I hope it works. It seemed easy enough). Thanks for your comments and keep reading and reviewing! -Traveller