This story is very good and beautifully written. I hope to read more of your works and suggest that you should write poetry. Do you? Well I give you good luck in your writing and hope you write many more. Well done, this is brill!
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback! :) I am glad you liked the story. I do write poetry, however, it's been a while I've created something. As for this story. I hope to go on and come back with the adventurous part.
Ohhhh! You've left it on a good cliffhanger and the plot flows well. For your first story this is very good - I have one question, though... How do you pronounce Mjuriel? Well written and the speech is correct and casual. Well done!
Author's Response: Dear meerkatalex, I pronounce "Mjuriel" like [muriel]. "ju" combination then sounds like [u] in "music".
A very good first chapter, i like stories with original characters. I look forward to more!
Author's Response: Dear Caladhiel Amariel, thank you for your feedback! :) I will post the other parts of the story real soon.