Two names are female. One is male. I'm writing the story of Daewen (me in Middle-earth). The one woman is a witch, the other, a married woman (to the unnamed man) who's snobby. The man is a brute.
If you can help me, that would be great! I'm looking for names with a German feel for it to fit in Middle-earth.
Thanks! And I am most certainly not dead:))
Author's Response: Oi! I knew that, lassie! I was just joking! (laughs). Hmm so you need German names, now that is a toughy! Ah, I think I may have the man's name for you, how about Hans! It is only a suggestion but think about it. Now for the female names!(Laughs loudly) I don't know if you will want to use this one, but how about calling the witch, Helda! (probably spelled that wrong). Sorry but I can't think of any other names. Please let me know what you think about these two! Dune
You've been busy! I need to get reading!
How are you? I'm good. I'm trying to write a new story but not succeeding. I need three names and can't find them! A writer's dilema, I guess:))
Author's Response: I am doing well, Dea, it is good to hear from you again. I was beginning to wonder if you were even still alive! (smirks) just kidding! Yes I have been busy and I have answered my own challenge by writing my new story called The Wolf, please read it and tell me what you think! Hmm, you need some names, are they for girls or boys? Because I could help you out if you want! Let me know! God bless, Dune
Faramir and Shawn worked well together. Very like Faramir to "stand by his oath" though only he recalls it.
Yay! Anything to make Fletcher happy! Of course I'm glad that Shawn and his men came out alright - that in Denethor's face.
I shouldn't be so hard on Denethor. There's a big difference between his movie and book versions. At least in the book he had the Palantir, which explained his suicidal madness to a degree. Will you be combining the book and movie Denethors? *imagines a mutated, slimy Frankenstein-ish Steward... ew, where'd that come from?* : )
Author's Response: Don't know, maybe! I will have to see when I get there. So, how is your story coming along? Just thought I would ask! Thanks again! Dune
I read the first chapter. You have my sympathy. I haven’t lost a grandfather, though the autumn and winter was full of close calls. I’m not a great consoler, but I know that it is tough, and I am impressed by your commitment in that time to writing. When my cat died, I felt utterly bottled up till I wrote, and I wrote like crazy and… that seemed to help. I hope you’re doing alright.
Katie, eh? That’s my name when I’m not Kitt. : ) Seriously, I am very fond of cocker spaniels. They have very compassionate eyes.
Now, on the latest chapter… So Shawn’s in charge of men; a moment for him to shine or fall (but I think he’s doing good so far). I should have suspected that Denethor would send him on a death mission! I like it when a “Thom” actually does have a twin. Silent is Michael is cool. Is there a special reason behind their Hebrew-ish names?
And no, you’re not pestering me! I like the distraction from essay writing and problem solving. Though I’ve taken courses here and there before, this is my first full semester in college. Freetime is scarcer and that’s taking some getting used to. I did, however, just finish a poem I had to write before Friday. Finally I can write fanfiction!: D
And God bless you, Dune!
-Kitt : )
Author's Response: Well met, Kitt, and don't worry I am dealing with my grandfather's death really well. I didn't know they were hebrew names, I just made them up! I am looking forward to your story and I am adding chapter 23 to the story now so please be ready. Dune
“Narmo!” laughed Gandalf, “A clue will be right under the enemies nose, and they will not see it!” - That is Gandalf all over. *shakes head* Never goes a day without thinking how he's going to pull a fast one on the Enemy...
I really, really liked Fletcher's protectiveness of Shawn. They are so sweet together!
Yay, Fang’s a stallion! I shouldn’t laugh, but that Fang can’t eat meat anymore is kind of funny. Poor wolf! And good old Max is his old self.
The end was intense, just walking out on the steward like that. Oh, but Shawn really DOES understand what Denethor is going through; will Denethor ever find that out? I hope they'll have a chance to talk to each other.
-Kitt : )
Author's Response: Yah, well, I couldn't think of a better name to give Fang as a stallion, I tried to look up the translation for golden One, but nothing came of it! So 'wolf' was better than nothing(and I thought it would be a good joke to have Fang be called wolf when he is a horse) Yah, of course Fletcher would be protective of Shawn, I mean just earlier he had became his new father! I am not going to say anything about Denethor talking to Shawn! Thanks for reading! Dune
*Bites lip* Oh, thanks for the heads-up. I was going to ask which stories of mine you liked…
I like Shawn’s reaction when Pippin was holding the Palantir. I would have started hyperventilating too. If Pippin was dead like that, I would have pushed Gandalf out of the way and screamed something like, “I know CPR!”! Which, in real, I don’t really know it… (Isn’t it some # of chest compressions, then two rescue breaths, then more chest compressions, etc, etc?)
I also like Fletcher’s reactions and fatherly protection over Shawn when Gandalf suggest him go with him and Pip to Minas Tirith. Aw! The parting is so sweet! Fletcher is totally the best character.
Cool! Fang gets to be a stallion! That reminds me of when Donkey gets to be a stallion in Shrek 2.
Shrek: Donkey, you're a...
Donkey: A stallion, baby! I can whinny.
Donkey: I can count.
*Stomps his hoof*
Donkey: Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting!
YAY! Max is back! *Claps hands together excitedly*
Where did Shawn learn the Elvish?
I think you misspelled “gets” in this sentence -- “Now wait here, I will return with Pippin and Fletcher. Fletcher will give you your cloak when he --gats-- down here” said Gandalf and he went back into the fortress.
Overall, very nice chapter! *Golf Claps*
P.S. I am seriously considering responding to your challenge. But, I have to do some research for it and that might take a little while. So, I’m really sorry, don’t expect anything too soon. Goheno nin.
Author's Response: Yep, that is CPR, I am an Eagle scout so I would know( Even though I probably never get a chance to use it). (laughs) yep it is just like Donkey, though Fang hates being a horse(I think it is because he can't eat meat) and Max was already there, he just had a different name. And Shawn had spent enough time around Aragorn and Legolas to learn how to speak Elvish well enough. Narmo is Elvish for 'Wolf', I thought that would be appropriate. Thanks for reading! Can't wait for your story, but what do you need to research for? oh well, thanks again! Dune
I am dreadfully sorry that it took so long to respond. Honestly, I feel really bad. SORRY! Stupid homework. Thank you for clearing up the Fang-chasing-you and the sleeping-at-Helm's-Deep thing, I can be really stupid sometimes. *Slaps forehead* Wait, I shouldn't be doing that, I have a German Project to do after this. Can't give myself a headache, now can I?! Yes, I did like the Dream chapter very much, because I thought that Shawn seeing his family again was rather cute and it lightened the mood as well. I was like, "Awww!" when he got to talk to his Grandfather and all. Reminds me of this little skit this kid put on once... never mind. Ja, dream squences are always so much fun to write. :)
Moving on to Solders from another Time, the Civil War is one of my favorites as well and I'm glad someone made an LotR-Civil War crossover. YAY! Sorry again, I either read that part wrong or worded my question wrong, which, I am the master at doing both. Stupid Fei. Just curious, but which Valar did James see? Orome? AN ELF? Didn't see that coming! Aw, you ruined it for me... *Pouts*
Okay, moving on to the two chapters that I just read...
“Don’t make me dismount and come down there! Because I will!” -- Tee hee, I love that line. Very nice. Aw, *Pats Fangs head reasurringly* It's going to be okay. *Fang snarls at Fei* Yikes! I was just trying to help. Really, I think that Shawn and Fang have an interesting realationship.
“Well? Why must you disturb my rest? Will you give me no peace at all by night or day?” Said Saruman in a sweet voice *Laughs, then chokes* Sarumon... sweet? *Shivers* Nice line, though. Very funny. YAY! *Claps hands excitedly* Fletcher is back! YAY! I love Fletcher. Aw, that's soo adorable. *Joins group-hug*
P.S. I just read your profile and I nearly choked when I saw my name on it! THANK YOU! I feel so honored! You have no idea how happy you just made my day! Thank you very, very much! :D
P.P.S. Sorry about all of the type-o's, I'm on my sister's computer and I'm typing in a Notepad (which doesn't have a SpellCheck) so, I'm sure that the many spelling mistakes. Sorry!
Author's Response: Its all right! I am glad you liked them both. And I don't know which Valar it was, I just made it up! I had to add you as one of my favorite authors and reviewers, because I like some of your stories, don't ask which ones because I can't remember, and your reviews are helpful. Hey I have a question, I have just placed a challenge on here and I was wondering if you would like to do it? If not I understand! I am adding another story called Riders of Arnor, its another Civil War Fic-LotR! I have also place a third story called a Slave no More, check it out! D.R.O.T.N.
Don't hit yourself! I still want to review. I like your style and this story has me very interested. You have me interested. I mean, someone who can write a story with this interesting and have this many mistakes, and still have people reading, is worth the time. I mean, I make plenty of mistakes myself. Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses and not everybody has the same ones.
I can assume correctly that you're not in college for English right? *Laughs* okay, bad joke.
Just follow what you're good at and work on what you're not.
If you're feeling down about your writing, read my Breakfast for Ada and see how I have grown. I sucked when I first started and I've grown better.
Author's Response: Ok, thakns I needed that and no, I am not in college for english, I am majoring in Graphic Design! I am the only artist in my family, I have no idea where I got my talent. But thanks for the encouragement, I needed it! Thanks again! D.R.O.T.N. or if it is easier, call me Dune
Um, actually, I'm out of High School. Okay, onto part 2 of my observations . . .
Paragraph 23 It (remove the then, you use one later and it makes it reduntant) licked the hand once (comma) and Aragorn patted the dog(appostraphe)s head, then (take out he - reduntant)
Paragraph 24 way lying on the ground, (unmovingly.) - it seems to flow better
Paragraph 25 a pulse, it was weak, but it was there. (this flows betters and gives it a little poetic feel to it.
Paragraph 28 angle not (normally possible) - obviously the arm is out of place. Therefore, it's not unpossible for it to be there.
Paragraph 31 (Aragorn's) eye - it switches from talking about the boy to Aragorn. There might be some confusion if you don't add Aragorn into the text.
Paragraph 32 he moaned, (then again fell silent) - it flows better
Paragraph 33 Hearing the boy(appostraphe)s moan (comma) the dog . . .
but as it dragged it(appostraphe)s hind legs on the ground (comma) it gave . .
Paragraph 34 (F)letcher - you're talking about a person. Needs to be capitalized.
unconscious dog (period) (B)oth of the dog(appostraphe)s . . .
Paragraph 36 for healing(comma)"
Paragraph 37 said this (comma) he picked up . . .
Paragraph 38 big dog (period)
Paragraph 39 heavy ones?" He (grunted?) - I don't know if that was the word you were looking for.
Paragraph 40 Aragorn(appostraphe)s arms . . .
Put a space here?
Paragraph 41 Aragorn's mind wondered (?) . . . and how he (got) . . .
Okay, I know that's a lot. Just ask for help if you need it.
Author's Response: Ok, now I really want to hit myself, I can't believe I made that many mistakes! (Grumbles to self) and I am in College for pets sakes, maybe that's why I never do well on my essay's. Oh well, Thank you! And sorry but I have never heard of those bands. And also you don't have to do this anymore if, um, you don't want to(Blushes and looks down). Thank anyways!
Okay, first thing, Evanescence and Within Temptation (If you thought they were the stories) are rock bands. Incredible.
Okay, things you could change here:
A lot of your paragraphs are broken in the middle and on other lines.
Two figures moved silently through the forest - you need a comma after forest.
I don't know how much longer I can stand it - again, it needs a comma before the last quotation marks.
Aragorn's lips curled into a small smile - you're missing your period. Or you can put in a ;
"I know (comma) it(appostraphe)s getting to me as well (comma) mellon nin, but we need to keep quiet and continue on our patrol (period)
Maybe you could add more descriptions of the scenery, what the people are thinking inside, what they feel. It creats and depth and it's easier for the reader to get a sense of depth and reality.
Paragraph 8 Fletcher inquired (period)
Paragraph 9 nodded (period)
Paragraph 10 continue on (comma) a bright . . .
Paragraph 11 Both men started(?) and drew their weapons (period?) Aragorn drew his sword and Fletcher drew his bow and arrow - I'm not sure about this sentance, it almost doesn't feel right. It doesn't really flow. I don't know, maybe you could think about it.
Paragraph 12 shock (period)
Paragraph 13 "What was that (add in an exclaimation point and a question mark. It gives it the feeling you want here)
Paragraph 15 greeted the Rangers (Tolkien always capitalized Rangers)
Paragraph 17 a body of a boy (period)
Paragraph 22 It leaned it(appostraphe)s head forward
I'll add more in a little while. I told you I'd read it:))
Author's Response: Yah, I can see that. Whoo! Um, ok! looks like I have a lot of changes to make. So, thanks, a lot! It's just that that is the way I write and well if it will be easier for others to read, I will fix it. D.R.O.T.N.
I can't pick my favorite Redwall book either, they're all good. I love the way you can practically taste and smell the food. I've cried over quite a few deaths. I did the same with the Lord of the Rings.
I love Sahara too! It's so funny.
So, you're in college. I'm in the stage right before college, out of high school. It's just so hard to find the right college and find a way to pay for it, you know.
I want to go for filming movies. I'll be willing to do basically anything as long as I get to help a movie get made. A lot of hard work, but I've always loved a challenge.
I did look at your challenge. It's interesting. I'll definitely give it a thought, though I'm writing a story for Friday the 13th. It'll be like the history of Daewen (me) in Middle-earth, although it's not the beginning story. So much work, so little time!
Have you ever heard Evanescence? If not, it is so worth it! And Within Temptation while you're at it.
Can you tell I like to talk? Usually I'm not like this but there's just something about a listening ear that makes me want to not shut up.
To tell you the truth, I haven't gotten past the first chapter of your story. That will change tonight though.
Shadow Maiden (did I tell you to call me Dae? If not, you can.)
Author's Response: Yes, you did tell me that Dea, and when I am excited I also talk a lot and fast. So you are in High School, well, don't sweat it, you will find the right college for you. You just need to keep up your grades and do well on the test and you will be ok. No I have not heard of those two stories, I will read them though! I am adding a new chapter to Soldiers From another time tonight! And please spread the word about the challenge! Thanks, D.R.O.T.N.
You read the Redwall series? I love that series! What one's your favorite?
Um, maybe you should look for another person to bio for you. I guess I didn't realize how busy I'd get. I'm really sorry. I will continue to read your stories, though. I can't express how sorry I am, but it's so hard to correct someone else's writing while I'm trying to edit my own . . .
Sorry. I will give you as many tips as I know in my reviews.
Sincerely, Shadow Maiden I hope that we can still talk and be friends here. In case, please call me Dae.
Author's Response: Dae, it is ok, I don't mind. I never knew you liked the Redwall Series! I like every single one of those books, I can't pick a favorite out of them. Hey I have a just put up a challenge, would you please look at it and see if it appeals to you? if not I will understand. Oh, and I have also added a third story called, A Slave no More, please read and see what you think. And again its ok, I understand that you are busy, so am I. I mean with College and Homework, I hardly have any time to write, so its ok. Thanks again, D.r.O.T.N.
If you've got the urge to write a story, write it! You don't have to finish a story in a certain timeframe (though doing so is a good discipline... ah, who wants discipline : P) Well, I like having several stories to work on at the same time - serious ones, silly ones, whatever suits mood I'm in. It's also nice if you're stuck on one you can work on another. But your fear you won't be able to finish the ones you already have is reasonable... sometimes I wonder that by own. Um, I don't know if that's much help. Just don't worry. Have fun with it. : )
Author's Response: Thanks for your help! D.R.O.T.N.
I missed Halbarad sorely from the movie! An you've probably guessed... I'm overjoyed by Fletcher's arrival. More like ecstatic! Or bounce-off the walls happy! The whole scene was touching. Fletcher's a best friend and father rolled into one. Gimli's got to be right in saying Shawn now can be happy.
And yes I do read responses - one of my satisfactions out of reviewling is keeping in touch with authors.
-Kitt : )
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, I always try to put as much emotion as I can describe in my stories! I keep wanting to start a third story but, I am afraid I won't be able to finish the first two that I wrote. What should I do, write the third or not? Anyways thanks for the review D.R.O.T.N.
Okay. I've never done the Beta thing before, so we'll have to see how this works. I have people telling me I need a Beta (which would be nice, just haven't found anyone yet.) I'll read your story and tell you what I think. I'm just too busy today - Tuesday, I hang out at the library and work on the novel I'm wrting. (It's not even close to being done.)
Shadow Maiden (Oh, you can call me Dae. Ar-feiniel has been calling me that for months now:))
Author's Response: Well Met, Dae, its a pleasure to meet you. I to don't have a Beta, for I have just started writing this past christmas. Its hard to find the time to write when you have to do it around class times and homework of College. But I will look forward to working with you. Namarie, D.R.O.T.N.
Hi. I've read this chapter and I'm going to read the others, I just have to find some time.
I can't believe you said that I was one of your favorites! I am so honored. Listen, if you need someone to help you, I could. I don't think I'm that very good (Because I'm still learning:)) but I'll help you if I can.
Namarie, and keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks, I need the help, because I have found out...(Looks behind shoulder) I can't write battle scenes really well! I fear I jump from person to person and that I am confusing people, so your help would be great! Are you a Beta Reader? because I sure could use one! Thanks again, D.R.O.T.N.
Probably wise of Fang to not want to return to Isengard. Besides the fear he'll wake his wargish self, memories there can't have been too nice.
*whispers* I have a guess: Fletcher! *whispers lower* sorry. I mean the guy who name starts with F.
*loud again* Well, Shawn's being in the middle of the Elf and Dwarf's bantering is fun.
Aragorn's right; it would not be enjoyable for Shawn or his canine companions to be cooped up behind walls. The intrigue for the city might be fun for a while, but to be there for life... That's very altruistic of Aragorn, just how I'd imagine he'd act.
Looking forward to the interview with Saruman!
-Kitt : )
Author's Response: Thanks and disregard what i said about the new Second Ranger chapter, this one was it! Sorry for the confusion. Can't wait to see if I don't mess up Saruman's interview! need incouragement here, but I am glad you like the other chapter's! (Whispers) I said not to tell, now every one is going to know the surprise! (Laughs) kidding, I knew you would figure it out! D.R.O.T.N.
Beautiful dream! I didn’t think we’d ever get to see these characters. I was a little teary-eyed when he saw his grandfather. That’s a teasing cliffy – so who’s supposed to be his next father? Or is the answer staring me in the face and I cannot see it? Ok, I’ll try to be patient. : )
(Suddenly I’ve had this vision of Darth Vader showing up in Edoras – “Shawn, I am your father…”) Ehem, yeah, I guess it won’t happen like that…
The dream chapter was needed as a break before these next chapters. They were intense! Tons of action. I think action is very hard to write – you have to keep tabs on your characters, describe it so it’s not rambling… you’re doing well with it. I don’t have trouble following. I even had Helm Deep music going through my head.
I love that the Legolas and Gimli’s contest extended to Shawn. That was always one of my favorite parts in the movie and book.
I’m happy to see Goldenfang and Silverfur make a good team. I was afraid they might have some tooth-and-claw rivalry.
At least I have Soldiers From Another Time to catch up on while I wait for this to update. : )
Author's Response: Thanks for your words. I thought that chapter 18 was to jumpy and I felt that I hadn't written it well, so thanks. I am going to be working on Soldiers from Another Time for awhile so, The second Ranger is on hold for a short time. I shouldn't have started this second story yet because now I can't concentrate on my first, happens to me alot! but any ways, glad you liked the dream sequence, and I already know who his new father will be (Hint you like this character's name) all I am going to tell you! D.R.O.T.N. P.S. Don't tell anyone else if you figure it out!
Me: *Sticks head out from corner of the wall. Sees Fang chasing Shawn, throws head back and laughs* Ha ha!
Fang: *Hears and rears head to see the laughing girl, turns and charges back to the brick wall* ‘I see you…’
Me: Ha…. Ha…. Ha…. *Gulps*
Shawn: *Thinking quickly* Freda attack!
Freda: But I’m just a wittle girl… *Makes puppy face*
Shawn: Right… uh… Silverfur attack!
Sil: *Looks up from thick textbook* What?
Freda: Why does the doggy have glasses?
Shawn: Because his insurance doesn’t pay for contacts.
Freda: Right… *Runs away* I was SO right when I said dogs could read and write, Eothain!
Fang: *Pokes nose around wall and sniffs around for Ar-feiniel* ‘Where are you?’
Me: Um… Shawn? What’s the wolf think—
Fang: ‘There you are!’
Me: Ah! *Runs around the corner of the of the brick wall, Fang on her heels* SHAWN!!!
Shawn: *Reading book with Silverfur* Shush! Fingon’s about to die! *Tear*
Me: *Rolls eyes, turns around abruptly*
Fang: *Stops and snarls at Ar-feiniel, teeth close to her face*
Me: *Smells Fang’s breath* You might want to consider a Tic-Tac.
Fang: ‘Why you little!’ *Chases a laughing Ar-feiniel across Rohan*
Sorry about that… and sorry that it took so long for me to respond. But here are my comments: I liked the Dream chapter as well as the Helm’s Deep ones. I like how you have Shawn compete in the counting kills rivalry between Legolas and Gimli. It lightens the mood. I like how you had Shawn fall asleep. But I’m a bit confused, did Shawn sleep through the rest of the Battle and how? Did he just randomly lie down next to a wall and doze off or did he retreat into the actual building? How long was he sleep? And no Orcs noticed him? (Sorry, I’m a details freak)
Oh, and before I forget, I really like your new story. I love the Civil War and am glad someone has done a crossover. I really like the creativity in that one – where you have two fallen solders beam into Middle-earth differently and I like how you have (James, I think it is…?) wake up as a wolf. I always imagined what would happen if something where to go wrong in the warping time-traveling system. (Someone having two left hands perhaps?) I can’t wait to see what will happen next it that story. It really is very, very interesting.
Well, again sorry it took so long. I have been reading your stories, don’t think I forgot or anything. I’m forgetting something. Rats. Oh, well, I’ll respond again when I think of it. Keep up the great work!
P.S. If I hurt your feeling is any way with my randomness in the beginning of my review, please let my know. I am terribly sorry. I have the outmost respect for your and your characters. I was only poking playful fun…
Author's Response: Actually its ok in the beginning, but I would like to clarify that it was me, D.R.O.T.N., that Fang chased, he has a bad temper, (hears step behind him and turns around) Oh, hey Shawn didn't see you there, (Shawn glares at me) ok, sorry I will move onto something else (Waits till Shawn leaves) whew, ok now, where was I! Oh yah, Shawn doesn't fall asleep during the battle, he falls asleep before the battle ever begins, Gimli is just shaking him awake because Aragorn doesn't want him out of his sight when the fighting begins. But did you really like the way I made him see his Grandpa again? And his family? I had to put a dream sequence in there somewhere! But anyways, I am glad you are liking my other story. The Civil War is my favorite subject. And James wasn't turned into a wolf by being brought there the Valar that he saw at the Battle, yes it was one of the valar, turned him into a wolf, for his old body was dying. But I am glad you like him and on top of that, Alex is turnning into an elf! please keep reviewing, I gotta go, cant stay and talk, got two wolf's after me now. See ya!!( Runs laughing as Fang and Mellon come running around the corner) come on Mellon, I didn't say anything about you, Hey! now you watch your teeth, yowch!!! why you little, yikes!!!
I guess the Rohirrim would not take to Goldenfang well... understandable but I hope it does not result in any bloodshed (with Gimli around, who can tell).
Goldenfang certainly has the right to be nervous. Old habits can be hard to break (i.e. eating people)... yet with his friend's help, Fang should be able to transfer into his new life well.
I liked Sil and Shawn's talk on the wall.
-Kitt : )
Author's Response: Wait till next chapter, you will like it. But I must tell you now, when you get to the second part of the Battle of Helm's Deep, its short and I jumped around a bit to much! i will rewrite it some other time. Thanks for the Review! D.R.O.T.N.