I just have to say, you've got a wonderful style of writing and it's a nice change to have a boy instead of a girl fall into Middle-Earth. Very rare, and interesting. I'm from the west myself, (well more western than Kansas) but I enjoyed the slang you used for Brandon, it made me smile.
Thank you very much! I'm glad you like the story, and I'm doubly glad that the slang I used was realistic, seeing as I'm from Connecticut, which is quite a ways east of Kansas :)
I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story!
I have been reading carefully as this fiction was recommended to me by a fellow writer. This is a great twist to the girl falls on middle earth, very believable, very sweet. I like the plot very much, and I like how you've portrayed Boromir so far.
My only "criticism" of this story is that Brandon seems to have a very strong feminine side.. almost as if he were a girl with a boy's name. Now, it is only an observation so far, maybe it will change in the rest of the story.
I am fascinated with the plot and can't wait to see what will come in Brandon's way next.
Thank you! I'm really glad you like what you've read so far.
Brandon does come across as pretty feminine, and looking back over my work, I can definately see what you're saying. I'm a girl, so that probably influences his voice a lot. I'm sorry to say that I think he continues to sound feminine for the rest of what I've written.
Thanks for the review, and I hope that you'll keep reading. :-)
how sad to have foreknowledge and not be able to make anything change for fear of ruining all.
The description of him in the coffin was creepy and well written.
Looking forward to reading more.
Thanks Jada! I'm glad you like the story.
I definately agree with you on the creepy factor in the coffin...it freaked me out when I was writing it :-D
Thanks for the review
Oh, I read this way too fast. It completely sucked me in like a vacuum. Brandon is pretty endearing. Have to read the sequels now! :)
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked the first story. I absolutely love it when I can really get into a story. It means a lot to me that you were able to enjoy what I wrote. I hope that Book Two continues to impress! Thanks for the review!
Absolutely soul-wrenching stuff.
I have been thinking recently that there seems to be a fanfiction doldrums at the moment, almost as if, save for a few people, ennui has fallen on the fandom. Very little stands out to me.
I am glad I've had a chance to catch up with this today, because you are one of those exceptions; mature, vivid, creative and extremely deep - there are authors more than double your age (both published and in fanfic) who have never managed to infuse a story with the amount of feeling you have explored in this work, nor can they paint the imagery you do.
This gives me a hell of a lift, because it's truly epic, mature and gritty work.
I hope you are proud of yourself, because you should be.
I look forward to the next story, as well as the gap-filler.
Thank you so much for the praise! Your review really brightened my day...I'm glad you enjoyed the story! I wish I had better words to use for my response to your review, it seems like whatever I type is much to generic to thank you for the high praise you've given me. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story, and I truly hope that the gap-filler and book two as well as book three continue to live up to your standards. Thanks for the review!
Oh...what a way to end!
This is perfectly paced, the emotions are utterly convincing and your descriptions just keep on getting better - I loved "the blood red sun grinning at him over the rocky shores", fabulous stuff! And yes, you made me cry. Boromir's goodbye plea to Brandon was really touching, and I was in agony right along with Brandon when he wanted to tell Boromir about his fate. The line that made me really choke up, though, was "His brother was dead." It's so simple and bleak and final - an A-grade heartbreaker indeed.
I can't wait for the gapfiller, and I look forwards to reading the beginning of book two when I get home :-)
Will email shortly and say more - for now, though, well done. You should be extremely proud.
Thank you! You know, this story wouldn't be half of what it is without your help. If WTL was a published work, the entire series would be dedicated to you as well as my family. I am proud of completeing the first book...this is the first time I've completed something that wasn't a short story. Thank you so so so so much for helping me along the way.
The gapfiller will be out possibly after next week, book two will be longer in the making!
oh. my. god.
... I cried SO hard when I read this. Truly, you are an amazing writer. You have far surpassed me, little sister.
I'm sorry/glad that this made you cry so hard! Sorry because I hate seeing people cry, glad because this chapter was supposed to be a tear-jerker. And you know me...there'll be more...eventually. WTL: Book Two, Ch. One will be out in a week or two, after an update to Moria with an H and a little WTL filler :-D
Thanks for the review!
Oh, gosh...the tension builds like a thunderstorm in this chapter!! The next one's going to be an A-grade heartbreaker, isn't it? Poor Brandon :-( the internal monologue you give him is really moving and extremely realistic.
Something that jumped out at me was Brandon noticing that the stars and moon are the same as back home. I thought this was a lovely touch - an example of the details you weave into this story that set it so far above the majority of Tenth Walkers.
I posted Ch. thirty-one not too long ago...it just might be an A-grade heartbreaker, I think whether it is or not will ulitimately be up to you :-). I'm glad you liked the monologue, I was afraid it was too over-the-top!
Ah, so you liked that little detail! Yay! Thanks for the review!
Yay! Flutes! ^_^ Now I want one that looks like Brandon's. *envy*. Ah well. I highly doubt that an Elven craftsperson exists in our world. Curses. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Well, when I have job and an eBay account...you might just get one. :-D Thanks for the review!
Cannot. Stop. Crying.
No criticism, no nitpicks - just bloody fantastic writing. Congratulations. Utterly wonderful.
Author's Response: *absolutely beaming* You have no idea how happy this review made me!!! As soon as I read this I got a huge smile on my face an did a gigantic happy dance. Sorry that the chapter made you so weepy, even though that was the intent! Thanks for the review!
This story is so engrossing, I'm not surprised it's been nominated for the MEFA's. You are developing Brandon's character really well, a little more depth each chapter, and not an overload or info dump which people read and then forget - the pacing is excellent.
Your descriptions are super, and Brandon's temptation by the Ring is something I have not seen before in any Tenth walker fic.
She was like a shattered beam of light sent back through its prism. Her eyes were like hard steel yet at the same time, a coverlet of snow, cold and soft
This is wonderful wording for Galadriel, just as I imagine her from the book.
*beams* Thank you so much!
The description for Galadriel was indirectly inspired by something called a "deck prism" used by mariners to light their ships below deck. I always thought of her acting in a prism like manner, casting light into places that would otherwise be the deepest black.
Thank you for the review!
Poor Brandon. I like this story. Humour, Drama, Adventure; it's all in there. Your writing is improving as the story progresses. Keep the chapters coming! Good luck with MEFA!
Author's Response: I'm glad you like the story! Thank you so much for the compliments and reviews!
*sniffle* Gaaaaahhh.... stupid angst. Stupid Death! *not saying that the chapter is stupid!* Keep up the AWESOME! ^_^
Aw, thanks sis! I'm so happy you think the story is awesome. Right now I'm brainstorming for the next chapter...hmm...
Thanks for the review!
wow...he's home..but he's not....I'm glad i dont have to wait for chapter uploading :D
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm pretty far into writing the first installment of this series. I love reading a story that's mostly completed...that way I can read more without having to wait! Thanks for the review!
I laughed so hard. that was awesome. can't wait to read the rest!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Some parts were supposed to be serious...I hope all of it wasn't funny! But that's beside the point. I'm happy that you're going to keep reading and I hope you continue to like the story! Thanks for the review!
"My kingdom for a horse. My brother for a secret. Is this what Judas felt like?"
*Goosebumps run up arm*
This is brilliant! What a chapter :-D and gosh, when he finds out about Boromir...your description of his reaction is vivid and moving, and I have to admit I had a lump in my throat. These next few chapters are going to be major tear-jerkers, aren't they?
Not major tear-jerkers...maybe a little saddening, but nothing huge. Not yet, anyways. There's still quite a few chapters between now and the breaking of the Fellowship.
Thank you so much for the review! I'm happy that it came out well! Writing is like baking...too much or too little of something makes the finished product nasty. I thought I had overdone it!
Thanks for the review and talk to you soon!
Oh! Poor Brandon! *gives him some tea, a blanket and lots of cuddles... poor guy NEEDS some serious cuddle time!!* :( Although, if I tried to even go near him, I'd probably get gutted... or at least thoroughly yelled at. I can't help that I'm a caring soul by nature! Anyway, yeah. I feel really bad for the poor guy. However, your writing is magnificent as always! Keep it up!
He'd be weirded out, but I doubt Brandon would attack you. He wouldn't yell either--maybe give you a weird look, but no yelling. He'd appreciate the tea and blanket though! Thanks for the review!
Now I want some tea :-D.
Oh, Moria! What is the cost of safe passage?
He paused, listening. The mine didn't answer, but in his heart, Brandon knew her response.
Her price was death.
A couple of things. :)
I really appreciate the way that you are following the book while working your own prose into it, not directly quoting. I'm sure you've seen tenth Walker stories which are just a word-by-word repeat of the film script, when all it would need is the author to tell it in their own fashion. Well, you've done that and it's the first time I've seen it.
Also, I think the way you deal with Brandon's emotions is excellent, especially his reactions to facing the wolves and killing them. They used to call it the 'red mist', when a warrior crossed that line of very natural fear and almost went into autopilot, or berserk, although I would not call Brandon a berserker, as he seems aware of what he is doing, which indicates when he is an accomplished warrior he would be a very good one, able to keep his head. Then there is his horror at killing. Many writers cruise straight over something which, unless one actually *likes* killing, is impossible to treat lightly. Brandon thought it was monstrous, and evil animals or not, I am sure it would be. I'm glad Boromir was beside him then, as he needed the support.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I hope the story keeps meeting your expectations!