This is very interesting, and very readable. Brandon's reactions seems extremely true to life and his being sent with the Fellowship to Rohan is a very different idea. I like it.
I have to say, I thought you wrote that chapter where he woke up in the coffin, very skillfully. It shocked me and made me gasp for air at the thought.
A long time ago, when I tried my very first Tolkien fanfic (way before the internet) I also had a character go into Middle-earth into the First Age, with a copy of the Silmarillion, and like Brandon, she could *not* show it to any-one, although she knew what would happen, but whenever she tried to influence some-one which might change the story, it did not work, depressingly XD as things always returned to the original plot. I would think that would be a terrible thing: if Brandon reads all the events and wishes to stop them...?
I am up to this chapter as of now, but I just wanted to tell you I am really enjoying this.
*glows* Thank you so much! I really hold your reviews in high esteem, so a good review from you makes me smile so much! Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Your first fanfic sounds very intersting; have you ever considered posting it on the site? And yes, Brandon could possibly screw everything up...and he might, you'll have to wait and see. Mwahaha.
Thank you so much for the review!
And now I'm up to date :-)
This is really good - I especially liked the way you dealt with Gandalf's death. The scene in the Halls of Mandos was also very chilling.
I'm glad you're sticking mainly to book-based events - I don't have a major problem with movie-verse, but certain scenes get overdone in a big way.
Will there be more soon? Or are you waiting for my lazy sister to finish checking through the latest installment? :p
Thank you again for the glowing review! I really like the books a lot better than the movie because you can do more with book-verse. I agree with what you say about movie-verse scenes; trying to re-capture cinema moments through writing is very difficult. If not done the right way, the end product is much too dramatic.
More is on the way, I'm cultivating ideas for the Two Towers part of Brandon's involvement in Middle Earth which is distracting me from his time in Lothlorien. Other plot bunnies are getting in the way as well. :-D No, all edits are up-to-date. Your sister is a very diligent beta!
I will probably have another chapter up by Saturday, and possibly another on Sunday or Monday. Thanks for the review!
Wow. Powerful stuff.
This is a really excellent story, I'm loving it. Apologies for sounding like that irritating McDonalds ad :p
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. As I said before, I am really glad that you like the story. I hope I'll continue to meet your expectations as the tale goes on.
Hi. After months of pestering from my sister (Narya), I've finally decided to start reviewing on this site and I followed her recomendation to your story, and all I can say so far is well done. This is a great piece of work. Nice to see us guys getting in on the action and falling into Middle Earth for a change!!!
I'll keep reading.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the story, and I hope you continue to read it! Thanks for reviewing!
Excellent again! For a second I thought you were going to deviate from the books and have the Orcs find them when Brandon kicked that twig - my heart was in my mouth :-) keep going!
I did almost deviate from the books by having Brandon fall into the Celebrant. However, Moriah listened to my plot ideas and told me to give poor Brandon a break. So I did. I had it all written out but my internet crashed, and Moriah dissuaded me from re-writing it. I'm glad this version was good though! Thanks for the review!
*Mini Plot Spoiler* I may deviate from the books a litte further into the story
Ohh, so Brandon's beginning to feel the pull of the Ring...a lovely bit of writing there :-)
It was with a smile on his lips and a full stomach that Brandon fell asleep, leaning against the mighty trunk of a tree he'd never seen. His dreams that night were ones of magic and bliss, of golden stars in the pale clouds, of flying, and singing himself into the Nimrodel and down to the sea.
He could not have known that the darkness was stirring as he slept.
I love the contrast between those two paragraphs! Well done.
I'll send you an email about this and Moria soon.
Author's Response: Thank you! I like this chapter best out of the ones I've written so far! I can't wait for your email!
YAY! Write more soon, please! 'Fields of Gold' has always been a favorite of mine (but, since you're my sister, you know this). And, I have a question: why did you say Legolas' hair was brown? Not criticizing it, I've always thought it as such as well. Maybe since he's a wood Elf from Mirkwood? Meh. *shrugs* As I said, write more soon, please! Oh, and when you get the chance, (I know you said you'd do it when you were done with this particular 'book' of WTL) you said you'd write the story of your typo involving me and the Fellowship. I eagerly await said one-shot! :P Love you, little sister!
Thanks! And of COURSE I knew! I thought of you when I wrote this chapter, just because I included the song. :D I said Legolas's hair was brown because that's the way I imagined it when I read the books. What I'm writing is almost completely book-verse, so portraying Legolas as the way I saw him in the movie felt wrong.
I am about to write your story. I will write more of WTL, but I'm going to take a little break. Don't worry about it, when I say little I mean that maybe I'll post on Sunday instead of Friday or Saturday.
Good chapter! This is the kind of thing that builds up the characters relationship with the others, it builds a stronger sense of friendship and belonging, at least to me! I understand what Brandon and the Fellowship are going through, it is like the same chapter in one of my stories,. Over all an emotion packed chapter!
Sorry to hear that the flu is in your town, keep healthy and don't. Get. Sick. On. Us!
Thank you so much! This was definately a chapter for "bonding" if you will. I don't like having every chapter deal with something cataclysmic. It takes some of the power out of the story because if every emotion is outrageously strong and every scene is dramatic and heart-wrenching, the big moments have no power.
It turns out that the supposed case in my town was not the H1-N1 virus, so everything is okay. I've never had the flu, knock on wood. Hopefully I'll never get it. And even if I was sick, I'd still write. It's something to do that's more productive than sitting and feeling miserable.
Thanks for the review!
Another lovely chapter - like Dune, I was really moved by the descriptions of the Fellowship'd grief, and I think you ended on the perfect note, hopeful but not too chirpy. This is turning into a truly engrossing story; keep it up!
PS Sorry I haven't emailed about this one yet; I'll send you longer message in a day or so, but at the moment I'm in the middle of writing a history essay - oh, joy... :p take care and speak soon.
Thanks! This chapter was so tough to write. I was so concentrated on Moria that I didn't really plan what I was going to do next! I was worried about sounding chirpy, your review has brought me a lot of relief.
Good luck with your history essay, I'm sure you'll do well!
I'll have some new chapters up soon. The swine flu has hit my town, and school has been cancelled until next week.
I almost cried when I read this chapter, very good use of words to bring out emotions! This chapter gets 4 stars from me!
Author's Response: Wow, four stars? I'm honored! Thanks for the review!
Whew! For a minute there I thought he would stay dead! I hope he can get to like his new life in Middle Earth!
I knew from the beginning of the story that I wouldn't kill off Brandon in Moria, but I kept the possibility open because the suspense factor was huge. I'm sure he'll learn to love Middle-earth. Thanks for the review!
I foresee regret, guilt, and forehead-whacking in the future for Brandon and his silly let’s-throw-away-my-only-support move. Honestly, if I were Brandon, I would have read ahead to see if anyone else died. Then again, that would be sooo wrong. “Hey Boromir, you’re gonna die…in seven days!” Hmm, but you can’t really blame Brandon, though—he’s grief-stricken, so it makes sense to through “fate” in a river. And that’s one of the Five Stages of Grief, anyway.
1. Denial and Isolation: At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger: The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining: Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
4.Depression: The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance: This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
Nice "polite disagreement" between Legolas and Gimli. Great last line! I’m really feeling Brandon’s anger. Remarkable job overall, as always. :)
P.S. I can’t remember if I went to Mandos or not…I think I did, but Námo so totally messed with my head. Hey, *if* Brandon goes to the Halls of Mandos again, could you tell ask him to threaten Námo for me? Just tell him, “Fei says to sneer ‘Banana Phone’ at Námo.” *Evil chortle* Heeheehee…
Author's Response: I didn't know about the five stages of grief, denial aside. Thanks for the info! And yes, if he goes to Mandos again, I will ask him to threaten Namo for you.
*facepalm* Brandon, you dork! DO NOT CAST AWAY EVIDENCE. ESPECIALLY STUFF LIKE THAT. And ESPECIALLY since there are more CLUES in the first book! ARRGH!!
Ok... sorry. My rant at your character is over now *sheepish look*.
WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER. Please!
Yeah, I know Brandon made a crappy decision. But keep in mind this is his first experience with the death of another in Middle-earth. He's going to be just a little irrational. But I felt like yelling at him too, after I wrote it. I yelled at myself a little bit, but then I apologized. Just wait until Boromir dies...dun dun dun.
It might take me a little while longer to get the next chapter out because of the Williamsburg trip that I'm going on with the symphonic band...I usually update on the weekend and once during the week. Fortunately, this upcoming week is April Vacation, so when I do get back, there will probably be several chapter updates due to plot bunnies and an over-abundance of spare time.
Thanks for the review!
I like that last paragraph... that's very deep literature right there... I'll have to ask my literature teacher if we can submit fanfiction as assignments too... lol, it'd be funny if he said yes. A few typos through this chapter but nothing totally major. I can't wait to see what happens with Brandon in the next few chapters, I reckon he'll regret throwing FOTR into the pool. Can't wait for more - Breia
I promise you, he will regret it. More is definately on the way, but I'm taking a small break to work on The Super Secret Diaries of Arwen Evenstar. I haven't updated that in a while, and I know I should. I feel a little guilty.
Thanks for the review!
Yes definitely not reassuring... Hey! ^.^ This is good, sorry it's taken me so long to get to it, I've been busy with other stuff the past couple of weeks. I'm off to read the next chapter now - Breia
Author's Response: You never have to apologize for missing my story, it's up to you whether you want to read it or not. :) Thank you for the review!
Do you find it at all BIZARRE that I had a dream of two black silhouetted people standing under a golden tree a couple of days ago? I’m not kidding. I think it was Brandon and Eru talking under Laurelin. Can you say, “weird”?
*Patting Caller on the back* Beyond really seemed like a difficult chapter, but you did great! I’m glad you went Mandos on us instead of “I SEE THE LIGHT!” I had no doubt that you couldn’t challenge yourself. I’m extremely proud of you. :)
Great job with this chapter, I’m eager for more!
P.S. “50 First Dates…Special Mandos Edition” *Choking* Oh, that’s great, Caller. Wanna ticket? It’ll be in theaters this coming August. Popcorn on me. Okay, okay, if I could go to the Halls of Mandos every time I slept, and could find Maedhros, without getting lost, I wouldn’t have a problem with falling for him again and again. But, eventually, if I could remember (or if I were smart enough as to tell someone what was going on so they could remind me) I would fall asleep, go to Mandos, call Irmo on my banana phone and tell him to get Mandos and Eru to stop messing with my head. Then, if/when, Mandos and Eru got off my back, I’d get Irmo to take over my dreams, so I could poof into Lorien every time I slept, hopefully awaiting a certain Feanorian.
Fei: HA! TRY THAT ONE ON FOR SIZE, JUDGE OF THE DEAD!!
*A lighting bolt flashes across Fei’s window, before a shadow passes over the screen*
Fei: Oh boy…
*Purple letters etch into the screen: TRY ME. I DARE YOU.*
Fei: No—Wait—I didn’t mean it!
*SEE YOU IN MANDOS. The letters fade.*
That is a weird dream. I haven't dreamt about my story yet, but sometimes I get...interesting ideas when I'm half asleep. I've decided not to go with those possible story lines, they aren't as great when I'm fully awake.
GAAAHHH!!! YOU BETTER WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER SOON OR I'LL... I'LL... umm... DO SOMETHING! :P Keep up the AMAZING work! Holy Crap!
Wow. Um, okay. A new chapter should be done by Friday, if not before.
Yay! He's alive! You're writing seems to be improving with each chapter too which is totally awesome! And your ... what's that word ... depiction of Mandos is good as well. Keep up the good work ^^ - Breia
I really have to credit the improvement in my writing to my absolutely amazing beta, Narya. She's an amazing author herself, you should check out her stories! I think you'd like them.
Thanks for the review!
Heehee. Hilarious situation with Mandos. It reminds me of a time…not to long ago when Van (my older brother) and I were talking about what we imagine we would do if we were to meet Jesus Christ. Van would be mesmerized, and humble, and blessed, and honored, and just plain *great* with Jesus.
As for me, let’s just say that I would have a reaction VERY similar to Brandon’s. I'd slipup and be like, “Uh, H-hey, Je—Mr. Christ. Mr. Christ. Can I call you that?” Van laughed and said that Jesus would want me to be causal with him. I would still call him Mr. Christ, though. And the same awkward, awe-ness goes for if I were to meet any of the Valar. Or anyone in Arda for that matter.
Impeccable job on Brandon’s reactions and describing the Halls of Mandos and the Valar dialogue (really, it seems difficult) and just excellent, remarkable, great job overall. It must have really fun to write this chapter. Go Caller!
P.S. Hmm, if I got to go to the Hall of Mandos every time I slept, I would be sure to try to find Maedhros (or anyone from the House of Finwe) while I was in there. ;)
This chapter gave me more trouble than any other chapter I've EVER written for ANYTHING. I was originally going to have Brandon talk to Eru Ilúvatar, but it didn't sound right so I re-wrote everything to make it fit so that he was talking to Mandos instead. And originally Brandon was going to be underneath Laurelin, talking to Eru. But then I looked up everything and changed it to Mandos under the tree, but that didn't make sense because Mandos would be in the halls of Mandos, (quite obviously, haha). It completely screwed up the entire chapter and took hours to fix. But I'm very happy with it now, even though I was kinda disappointed in myself after I published it :(
It was difficult, but listening to music really helped. I tried to steer away from the stero-typical death image. You know, the whole "I SEE THE LIGHT!" deal, and hearing voices. Nope. Not for Brandon. He gets classical elven architechture, and a disgruntled judge of the dead who gets rebuked by a God before deciding where his soul goes. I hope I did an alright job with that.
Thanks for the compliments, they mean a lot. Your reviews really do mean a lot for me.
P.S. If you did go to the Hall of Mandos every time you slept, you would have to find Maedhros everytime you went because there is no way that Mandos and Eru would let you remember. It'd be like "50 First Dates...Special Mandos Edition". I'd watch that....