Welcome back! I'm glad you are continuing this!
I love the battering between Shadowfax and Ashanti. Yes, only Shadowfax could come out of a battle with a few flakes of mud to show for it! :)
Sweet to see Legolas and Ashanti's relationship grow closer. I think counted as an apology and then some!
Whew! Ashanti is alright!
You've still got Gandalf's voice down pat - grandfatherly, witty, funny and stern when needed.
I can imagine the Rohirrim raising their eyebrows at the wizard: "But Greyhame, we thought you were a cat-lover..." :)
Aw, she's finally forgiving Legolas. ^^
I was glad to see this story is still going. School really takes it out of ya. Congrats on finally being Free! :)
I had a laugh attack at Aragorn’s line: "Umm...Gandalf why are we talking about Legolas?"
Good question… can Ashanti ever forgive that barbaric wizard-slaying Elf?
I also like seeing her ongoing fued with Shadowfax.
So much suspense! And will Ashanti be all right???
I wait in anticipation for what comes next. :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and thank you for staying with this story!
Glad to see an update. I cannot believe it's been only a month - but then this month has been busy.
*laughing* I liked the Shadowfax humor...
More solemnly, the line Who died? was so simple and true that I felt a lump in my throat.
The / do make the layout cleaner.
Lookin' forward to more... :)
I was just stopping in when I saw this story. Yes, this story is short but very interesting. I love the name Ashanti; it is such a beautiful name! I love the tension between her and Legolas, oh and Shadowfax's attitude. I would really like to know what happens next!
This chapter was so cute... I like the tension between the Elf and Ashanti. The little "battle" between her and Shadowfax was priceless.
My favorite line is "if he didn't have his axes I would play tug-of-war with his beard."
Do you know how to use italics? It would be smoother to read if the thoughts and animal talk were put in them. Or you could set them off between something like /think/.
Again, lovely chapter. I will look forward to seeing Ashanti's ongoing reaction to Legolas. :)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review.When I typed it up on Wordpad I used italics, but when I copy and pasted it to the website they went away, so I'll change it to the /think/ thing. Thanks again!
Oh, so Gandalf had just become Gandalf the White! I just didn't catch on before. :)
I still like his grandfatherly-banter tone.
You get into the dog state of mind well: energetic, curious, sniffing.... She would consider the hobbits children and Treebeard just a tree! Shadowfax's eyeroll was too funny.
Ok, well, I guess the second chapter answered my question, about him being Gandalf the White! so I take it he is going to Fangorn to meet the Fellowship? I wonder what they will think of Ashanti?
P.S: Ashanti is a really beautiful name, how did you come up with it? Hope you update soon, can't wait to read next chapter!
Oooh. Good again, but where has she ended up? It's good twist that she has turned into her favourite dog and that the collar, unlike she thought, was comfortable. Is she going to go with the Fellowship? I hope she does, and who is her favourite character if she knows she's in Middle-Earth? Very good! XD
Ok, one question! Where is she? Lothlorien? I have atip for you, if you are going to mention a door closing, you might want to mention first that she is inside a room! (laughs) I was a little confused by this chapter! Its good that you are starting out with short chapters but some long ones would be nice! Not to long, just a little longer. Oh and one more question, is this Gandalf the Grey or White? Keep up the good work and thanks again for working on my challenge!
PS: Nice choice of dog, a husky looks almost like a wolf!
Whoo-doggy! Now this is sounding like a good story! I thank you for doing my challenge! This is very interesting! I have also did my own Challenge, the story is called The Wolf, if you want to read it! keep up the good work on this story!
This challenge is getting pretty popular isn't it? I've answered it myself, so here's some tips: Go at your own speed. If you want to do short chapters, go for it! Some people are more comfortable in doing that. Secondly, make sure that you spell-check and grammar check your stories. It can annoy readers if there are any silly spelling mistakes and it ruins your story as it doesn't make it the best it can be! Last, this story has a good beginning - if it's good at the beginning then it's more than likely that you'll get more reviews. Your story has a very good first chapter and this is always a good sign - don't be put off by the limited amount of reviews you may get, just keep going! :-) People on here are loving the challenge and the responses they are getting. Overall this is a good start to the challenge, keep it up, and well done! :-)
PS Ashanti is a lovely name. Is it taken from the name Shanti in the Jungle book 2? Just asking...
Author's Response: Thank you for the tips! And no the name was in my math book.
A very imaginative response to the challenge! Ashanti is such a pretty name.
Lovely details about the dogs and the speaker's ambition to be a vet. (An ambition of your own? :) )
I like creepy forests, what can I say... but devilish creatures I do not. *shivers*
I cannot wait to see what happens next. : D
Author's Response: Thanks, and the vet thing just worked out in the story. But I've thought about it.
I see this animal transformation challenge is becoming quite a popular one and I would like to offer some advice for your story if I may. First of all you have choosen to write your story in the first person perspective and that is a very tricky thing to do even for very experienced characters. Personally I always find first person stories trickier to read than one based in the third person perspective but that is my personal preference. Just a few small things, In the first paragraph you have listed the price of the college in the numerical sense ($18,000) instead of writing out 'Eighteen thousand dollars' That kind of cuts up the sentance becuase sometimes when you are writing you have to also pretend you are saying out loud so preferably you would write the value as putting the amount in numbers is kind of like stopping and say dollar sign one eight zero zero...Just a small thing really but it does make a difference in how the story flows. There are also a few grammatical mistakes such as
Yes she'll a very good sled dog.
I presume you meant to say 'Yes, she'll make a very good sled dog someday' Something along those lines. I do not want to press the beta reader aspect as I do not have a beta myself which is someone who checks over your story for any errors but before you add another chapter read through what you have written a couple of times which is what I always do, though that is not to say I catch all of my mistakes but I do usually get the bigger ones out of the way.
You have an intriguing first chapter which certainly does draw in the reader but I would recommend finding someone who can be a second set of eyes to look over the next few parts of your story as I do think it has potential but there are some spelling and grammatical errors which do disrupt the flow of reading it at times.
I am looking forward to seeing more of this story as I am intrigued by it :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for you review! It helps me a lot! I honestly didn't think I'd get a review so quickly. And I am pretty new at this, thank you again!!