The girls getting ready was fun to read; hard not to relate to it. ;) I could just feel Louisa’s huge inward grin.
And her dad was awesome… I think if my dad gave my fashion advise, I’d faint right there. Really, he did a good job at dispersing the awkwardness… anything to do with Izzy can’t be easy on him either.
I love how you handled the shift of Anna and Derry’s relationship. That’s a tightrope to walk between getting too sappy or too unreal. You walked right through without a wobble. ^^
Derry’s drink-spraying was classic.
I’m still dying to know who is using Proust as his secret identity… :)
Author's Response: Hey Kitt! Sorry about the long break between updates. Glad you like the chapter :) Derry's drink-spraying was a last minute addition but it seems to have made people chuckle, which I'm glad about! And Proust's identity is soon to be revealed. Thanks, as ever, for R&Ring :)
I really liked this chapter! It was a good look at a different side of Derry, and gave Louisa a chance to come into her own as a character as well. Hope he does go to prom with Anna!
I also love how you showed the vulnerability of all the characters in some way. It added another dimension to them. Can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens! Wonderful job, as always!
Author's Response: Thank you, Caller :) I hadn't really thought of it as showing a different side of Derry (interesting what other people read in your own work that you as an author don't see) but I've had that scene pegged for Louisa for a long time. She and Proust are probably the characters that have grown on me the most as the story's progressed :)
I am at a loss as what is to happen next, but am all agog!
Author's Response: Hehe, thank you!! :) I've had a really busy weekend but will get back to work this week, updates shouldn't be too long in coming.
I feel so light-chested for Derry. Everything that was weighing him down seems to have gone, well, poof!
I love the mother-son moment! It felt so solid and natural... how Derry's reamerged affection flowed from his friends to his mom.
And I'm sure Proust will have a ticket lying around somewhere. ;)
Author's Response: Yeah, I've had that scene pegged for Louisa for a little while - she's not so bad really ;) and yes, there's light at the end of the tunnel now, both for the characters and for me as an author! Three more chapters left to post, in which we will find out if Proust really does have that spare ticket, among other things...thanks, as ever, for following and reviewing! Take care!
So now the question is to go or not to go?
Author's Response: Oh, I think we all know the answer to that one :) thanks, as always, Tinara - you guys really make this writing gig something else when you take the time to read and comment.
A beautiful chapter! I really love how much Beomia has grown, even if a part of me did want her to somehow end up with Eothain. I think the way her character has developed is perfect for the story. I liked the allusion to the way Izzy used to tug Anna's hair at the end, too. Very clever!
That being said, I can't wait for the next time we go back to Derry and Anna. I really want to see how they handle the realization that they're in two worlds at once.
Author's Response: Thank you!! :) funnily enough my sister was all for Beomia ending up with Eothain; I wasn't sure how popular I'd be, pairing her with Aiken, but it felt like the right thing to do in the context of the story. And I like to think they'll be happy. Anyway, thanks for R&Ring, as ever - we're heading back to our world for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Ah, Eothain...sorry about that, it's me leaving story threads open to work on in the sequel! It will be made clear eventually though :) thanks for R&Ring, as ever!
Proust’s secret identity is killing me. I was thinkin’ he’s rather Istari-like, but I’m open to anyone. (If he’s Eothain, I will be thrilled enough to burst).
It was lovely to see Beomia so happy! She’s changed so much; it’s been beautiful watching her come over her sorrow and stubbornness. As always, great job getting into her head. I could feel all her joy and relief; really, I had to sigh deeply once it was done Whew!. Beomia’s nerve-wracked mother and Eothain’s comeback to the solemn question were nice human touches.
Looking forward to the next installment, as ever. ^^
Author's Response: Hehe, thanks, Kitt! I'm glad you liked the handfasting - and Beomia's mother was based on how my auntie behaved at my cousin's wedding a couple of summers ago, fussing with everything and generally stressing out :D as for Proust...all will be revealed ;)
I love the parallel universe(s) ideas and the way this is all beginning to come to the denouement.
Lol I remember when Edmund, Susan and Peter talked to Professor Kirk about Lucy's story. Gosh it has been some years since those books, but I read them a lot at one time.
Well done. :)
Author's Response: Ooh, what are your ideas? I want to see if your theory is the same as Callerofcrows :) and yeah, I loved the Narnia books as a kid, though the religious allegory went right over my head! Thanks, as ever, for reading and reviewing :)
So Mr. Proust knows quite some things? His role is interesting, as in the beginning you showed him through the eyes of Anna and Derry. Though he seemed kind enough they mostly perceived him as annoying and mistrusted him. And now he presents himself as a totally different character.
Author's Response: The next update shouldn't be tooooo long - I want to get this story finished before uni gets crazy again, so basically within the next few weeks. And yep, Proust is way in the know; there'll be a couple more clues about him in this story, and a proper explanation somewhere in the sequel. Anna and Derry's reaction to him in the beginning was, I suppose, the standard teenage reaction to any friendly teacher - "what are you trying to gain by being nice to us?" etc. As you say, though, now they'll have to look at him in a new light :) thanks, as ever, for following and reviewing!
Author's Response: Haha, incoherent is cool :D I'm glad people seem to like this chapter; this is one of the scenes that's been in the brewing for a long, long time! Thanks for reading and leaving feedback - I've got way behind on Dawn, I need to catch up. I think I might go back and reread from the start.
Loved this chapter. Your style of writing is very Rowling-esque. This scene reminded me of all of the various conversations between Harry and Dumbledore whenever Harry ended up in the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey. The dialogue was really realistic and I could see this scene in my head as if I were watching a movie.
And I'm really excited, because I think I've figured out who Proust is. :D
Author's Response: :D message me and I'll let you know if you're right! I owe you a WTL email today anyway, so I'm sure we'll speak soon. And yes, I suppose there are some Dumbledore-ish elements to Proust; it wasn't something I did intentionally, but I read so much Harry Potter growing up that I suppose I can't help but be influenced by it. Thank you for R&Ring, as always :)
Author's Response: Anna's made of tougher stuff than that :) but then again, Derry has been through hell and back, so I think we can let him off! Next chapter will be up soon, the story's rolling on apace - I know I've said it before, but we really are nearly there now :) again, thanks for following and leaving feedback. I will now go and check out the WTL update :D
Author's Response: Hey Caller! Long time no speak :) glad you're still enjoying, thanks for following - and really, don't worry about reviewing, I know everybody's busy. I'm just happy that people read it!
Author's Response: Ahh, the deliberate communication was a curved ball that got thrown in pretty late on in the story's development - it was that decision that finally tipped me over the edge and realise that a sequel was needed :) thanks for following, as always!
"the sun smiling lazily as it settled in the west..." Aw, that made me feel so warm for a blessed second...
Beomia's idea was so cool and sweet, but certainly was not at the best time. Hey, if Anna and Bee talked with each other, that'd be *the* coolest. :D
I liked the observation of end of exam 'anticlimate feeling.' That's the great mystery of every end of term.
I hope Derry's ok! Mr. Proust really is wonderful in a pinch.
Author's Response: More on Derry and Proust coming up in the next chapter...and as for Anna and Bee, well, there are still more developments to come there, but most of them will have to wait for the sequel. Glad you're still enjoying it; thank you for reading and reviewing, as ever!
Author's Response: Thank you :) I'm glad you like it, you know I was worried! We're almost there now - I've just posted 24, then there are another 6 updates after that. The end is in sight...and I feel kind of sad about it...anyway, thanks for your consistent support and lovely reviews :)
Author's Response: *Assumes shifty expression and says nothing* :p don't worry about Anna; she's a pretty tough cookie. Thank you for reading and reviewing, as ever!
Proust is cool. His farewell speech almost had me teary too!
By coincidence, I just watched a Carl Sagan's Cosmos where he talked about parallel universes. What a headache! I love the parallel universe concept, though painful it is. (I spent hours trying to figure out the new Star Trek movie with my brothers and never did I have a greater brain-bog.) Anyway, I can understand Anna’s exclamation to her sister in the end.
Great job handling the sciene. :D
Author's Response: Haha, thank you...science isn't exactly my forte!! :p yeah, Proust is quite cool, but his crowning moment of awesome is yet to come. Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing; take care!
Miss you, sis x
Author's Response: Oh, hey there stranger, who are you again? :p not seen you on here in a while. Procrastination, much? x
Author's Response: Teehee *snickers* don't worry, everything's in order...although you may or may not be pleased to hear that I've decided to write a sequel :p thank you for reading and reviewing, as always!!
LoL! I keep seeing on your LJ that is a recurring problem for you. Can't blame you. Latin ewwww.
I kept laughing at the discussion the parents were having about the forty year old man interested in their daughter. Mid-life crisis? The balding part was genius.
The family dynamic was wonderfully done. It felt like a real family, one I've been privy to many times.
Author's Response: Oh, that's not the last you'll hear of Aiken :) and yes, I do have an issue with stories taking off in their own directions! I started this thinking it was going to be about 5000 words long...ah well. And I've dropped Latin now, thank goodness - it was killing me! :p thank you so much for reading and reviewing, take care!
I feel like Anna is almost being haunted by Izzy. But I loved how you described her grief, though I know that sounds morbid. It felt real and not soppy like I read so many times in other stories.
Suddenly, Anna was seized by an urge to see her sister again – even if it was just in a photograph, she had to see her face. She switched on her lamp and sat up. Her hair, salty and damp from tears, clung in tendrils to her cheek as she scrabbled about in the bedside drawer for one of the few family pictures she kept in her bedroom, a snap of her, Izzy and their cousin on a beach in Spain. Having found it, she gazed hungrily at the scene, her eyes devouring the flawless blue sky and the sugar-soft sand and the smiles on everybody’s faces, but most of all they feasted on the girl in the middle, tall and slender, tanned and truly beautiful in her white bikini. And yet...something wasn’t right. Izzy. That was it. Izzy didn’t look right. Her nose was a little longer than that, surely? And her legs a little slimmer? Or maybe the picture was right, maybe Izzy had looked that way. Maybe Anna’s mind was already playing tricks on her, even after a mere matter of days, warping the image of the sister she had loved more than anybody or anything else in the world. Feeling cheated, she flung the photograph to the floor, jabbed at the switch of her lamp until it turned off and lay back down.
The description was beautiful and the need to hold onto the sister just heartbreaking. I loved that part.
Strangely I like Aldhem's imperfection. It was realistic.
Is this based on the LOTR movie plot or Tolkien's original?
I'm not sure about them leaving the mare to foal alone?
Now I'm intrigued about the blue eyes!
Author's Response: Thank you again! There are elements of this story that are movieverse, but I use material from the books too, so it's kind of both. And as for the foaling, I'm not a horsey person myself, so I did some reading around, but if it's not accurately written then I apologise. Any suggestions for improving it would be greatly appreciated :)
I like solitairy verbs describing what Izzy is feeling really put me in her frame of mind.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! :) I'm glad you like the intro, hope you continue to enjoy it.