That could be a really funny opening to a book, not the Hobbit though. :)
Author's Response: I am actually working on doing just that. A gentle parody of The Hobbit with my own characters and a plot mostly their own. :D
Whoa that was all one sentence, wasn't it? That was hilarious! I loved it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! It is indeed one sentence. I couldn't stop making myself laugh as I wrote it out. ;)
That would've been a horribly nasty start to a book. However I think you should continue just for amusment.
Author's Response: Only horribly nasty? Or horribly nasty, dirty and wet? :P I've been thinking of doing just that, actually, to see what I come up with. Although the phrase "nasty, dirty and wet" will be quickly dispensed with I think.
Heeh! :D And the editor looked at it and said,
' Have you ever considered replacing words, Professor Tolkien? '
Author's Response: To which he replied: "Replacing? What needs replacing? I thought it was rather brilliant myself." :P