Argh! An update! How did I miss this?
Short, but powerful. Poor Brandon - I hope he soon settles in to his new home. Your writing is wonderfully atmospheric, as ever. I wonder how the story is going to change now that he's away from Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli?
An update well worth waiting for :) I liked your thoughts on the pain of injury outweighing glory in battle; it's an attitude I haven't come across in fanfic before. Your description of the dead was all the more harrowing because you refrained from sentimentality, and Brandon's situation seems to get bleaker all the time. Wonderful writing.
A couple of continuity points - Lynstan seems to become Lynhelm partway through the chapter. Also, it could just be because it's been a while between updates, but I'm not clear on the relationship between Dunnoth, Hilenna, Silwith, Thorostan etc. - who is sibling/cousin to whom? Hilenna is Silwith's daughter I think (I'd go back and check but then I'd lose my review :P ) but how are the others all related? Sorry!!
Author's Response: Thank you! Looking back, it is rather confusing, and I did my best to clear up who's related and who's not. I'll make it clearer in the next update, I promise! Fixed the name issue too...whoops! Again, thank you for finding these mistakes and letting me know! And the review was lovely. :)
The silence was even more agonizing than the noise. It sat heavily upon his shoulders, thick with the promise of slaughter. Brandon felt his hope dissolve in the tension. A keening howl cut through the stillness, followed by the hollow roar of battle.
Absolutely stunning. Powerful, claustrophobic imagery loaded with tension, perfectly phrased and rhythmically satisfying.
Another terrific chapter. Glad to see this updated.
Oh gosh, I hope he's OK! Spoilers please, Caller (via email, of course - don't want anyone accidentally stumbling across them on the review threads). This was really well-written; I love the little details, like your observation that he'd need to hold his sword differently to fight on horseback. I also think that you've described the complex seething surge of emotions perfectly, shifting the balance between fear, anger and grief in all the right places. You create a real sense of chaos and confusion, especially after Brandon's been hurt.
This chapter is just full of win :) I've said it in the email, but I'll say it again - I LOVE the way Brandon's character development is essentially summed up in his speech to Theoden, it really shows how far he's come. I feel so attached to Brandon as a reader; I desperately want all this to turn out well for him, although I know there's a long way to go yet.
Great stuff, as always!
"Cold like frozen clay"...what a perfect way to describe Wormtongue's eyes :)
Another great chapter, brimming with atmosphere, perfectly evoking Tolkien's Middle-earth while bringing your own unique perspective to the characters and events. Well done. More, please! :D
Well, that was a short hiatus :p what was it, 24 hours?
LMAO. Nice. Really smooth, checking out a pregnant married woman!
Cool cliffie at the end; I await the healing of Theoden and the promised romance with baited breath!
As soon as I sent you the email, ideas hit me full force. Life is strange! Still have to figure out how Brandon meets her/what her name is/what she looks like.
Really smooth, checking out a pregnant married woman!
He really didn't notice until after she ran inside. Still, it's awkward, haha. She's most likely going to come back in the story, but not as love interest.
Healing of Theoden is on its way. Maybe after another "hiatus" lol.
Oooh. Moody chapter ending.
I like Galadriel's words to Brandon - they feel highly appropriate, and totally in keeping both with canon and with the feel of your Middle-earth.
Will email later with more :)
Thanks! I spent a good half-hour typing and re-typing what Galadriel was going to say to Brandon. I tried to rhyme it like Aragorn and Legolas's messages, but it ended up sounding trite each time I did it.
Can't wait for your email!
excellent story! As a mom, my heart aches for his parents. I hope he can let them know it was all a mistake.
I'm glad they burned the books. I was just waiting to see if the first one was discovered and led to grief. I'm glad it did not.
I hope you continue writing your story. It's a unique turn to have a male fall into ME. Unexplored territory!
Thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad that it's easy to connect with the various characters. This is the longest on-going story I've ever written and I hope that it continues to strike a chord with you as it continues!
The book burning was inevitable...Brandon isn't the greatest at keeping his mouth shut, haha.
I will continue writing. There will be a third book after this one is finished, and depending on how the story flows, possibly a fourth or a fifth.
Thanks for the review!
Wow. Made me cry! In a good way, of course. You are an AMAZING writer and, as I have said, have FAR surpassed me in the realm of the written word. Keep up the good work, little sister!
4:59 am?!?! Shouldn't you be sleeping at that time of the morning? As long as you're still feeling okay! Sorry. I happened to glance at the time that you sent in this review. Thank you so much for the high praise, it means a lot. And I have not "far surpassed you." We just have different styles. You're just as good an author as I am. Thank you for the lauds though! Stay well!
Oh, wow, what a fantastic chapter! The language and imagery is gorgeous - "the magic of approaching dusk riddled with his senses" - and Brandon's hearbreak that it isn't Boromir who returned is agonising to read. I love the slightly subdued note you end the chapter on, too. It's hopeful, but sad as well.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter, even though this particular chapter felt strangely elusive. I wasn't able to fit my thousand-word quota again. :-(
My imagery has nothing on yours, so this is one of the best compliments I could've gotten! Thanks for the review! Hopefully there'll be time to post another chapter soon...school started today, ugh.
*shudders* ugh, The Ring, I hated that film!
A short but powerful chapter; it was good to see the interaction between Legolas and Aragorn, and their concern for Brandon. Can't wait for the reunion with Gandalf :-D
I STILL get nightmares from that movie. When I have my glasses off or my contacts out and it's all dark...*shudders* so scary.
Yeah, this chapter was shorter than I wanted it to be. I try to keep all my chapters at least one-thousand words long. This one eluded me, but I'm glad it still packed a punch.
I can't wait for the reunion either. Brandon will be yanked back onto an emotional rollercoaster, poor guy, which will probably result in...
Oh, I'll let you read it for yourself when I post the newest chapter in a few days. :-P
OoOoOh, that was an unexpected twist!! Poor Laura :-( had she really sensed Brandon or was is her imagination? Will they get to talk to him again? Guess I'll just have to keep reading.
Great work, as always :-)
No, she really sensed him. I don't know if I'm alone on this, but I believe that some bonds span across death, mother-and-child bonds especially. I feel sorrier for his father, who has lost his son and has to deal with the mental and emotional instability of his wife on top of everything.
I'll email some spoilers your way, if you want, regarding possible plot developments.
Thanks for the review!
He stared into the fire long after the ashes of his torment blew into the night...fading from the hearty red-orange of new life to the dusty grey of an ended age.
Oh, woman, you have such a way with words, and I love it. Not enough people use the power of words like this; it's an art, a love and most writers these days don't have it. When I find it, it's like a starving man finding a three-course meal with a very good wine.
The scene with Brandon's mother and the medium was fascinating. I understand his mother's desperate need so much, and undoubtedly she does sense him. I admire the way you have not made it an easy severance from his world.
Great stuff! Well done!
Thank you very much! This review that you gave me really made me smile, both on the inside and the outside. This is the biggest praise I've ever gotten for my writing, and it completely made my day!
The medium scene was really interesting to write. It's a very touchy situation, and I felt almost intrusive writing it. If anyone were to sense Brandon, I believe it would be his mother. Thank you for all the praise. It completely lightened my day.
Thanks for the review!
I can sympathise with Aragorn- there's something slightly horrifying about burning books. However, it's probably better this way, still...wonder where the first one ended up?
Brandon might feel angsty now but hopefully this way he won't feel so guilty all the time. Hmmm. Thanks for the update! :)
The mystery behind where the first book went is in the first book. I hope you read book one before reading book two!
There will definately be some angst coming up, and yes, I think he'll feel less guilty. Thanks for reviewing the update! Reviews really do motivate me a lot. I'm so glad that you like the story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it!
I was wondering when this was going to happen! You portrayed the burning (gah! I HATE doing this, even in fiction,) of the books wonderfully! And Brandon is being less of a jerk! Yay! Well, I understand his point of view. Anyway, keep up the amazing work! ^_^
Author's Response: Aw, thank you big sister! I hated burning the books in fiction too. As I was typing it up I was thinking "Nooo!" and resisting the urge to erase what I wrote. It felt right for the story, I thought, and it was only a matter of time before he let it slip to someone. Thanks for the review!
Brandon's current low self-esteem is leading to much misunderstanding. I look forward to seeing how this progresses. :)
Author's Response: More is on the way, I just need to find time to write and submit the newer chapters! I'll look forward to hearing what you think of each new development. Thanks for the review!