That was hilarious! You should write more of this, it's very entertaining.
It would then be picked up by the creature Gollum, who would take it deep into the Misty Mountains, and become quite scarily obsessed with it. Not to the degree that some fangirls obsess, but, y’know, somewhere just below that.
I died laughing at that part. Gollum hasn't got anything over me, I'm PRO at hobbit fangirl obsessing!