Now that’s a sensation I would never dream of: having my toe hairs pulled out by dried mud. :P
I think I said it before, but it needs to be said again - you’re really good at transiting to the dream/flashbacks. You focus on an object and kind of expand the flashback from it. It’s so cool, like a device used on film to switch between scenes; I just don’t see it in written form often. :D
I liked to see Pippin’s family – all the details their similarities, their shortened names, Pimpernel’s wedding…
You also did a good job at showing Pippin’s intense emotions associated with Weathertop.
Hehe, Fredegar’s scenes with his mother are precious. ^^
Now I really do feel sorry for Merry. Of course Pippin and the others are having fun, but at least they have a cart.
I like Pearl’s little pink jumper!
Sevossi is so cute. Too bad she must be an obstacle on Origo’s quest.
I didn’t think the flow was bad – it was just different. It actually sounded cleaner. Keep up what you’re doing! :)
Author's Response: well.. i normally right as if i already see it as a movie.. i seem to write in more detail when i see it as a movie lol
The flashbacks fit snug into the scenes perfectly. The snowball one was cute.
The fallen tree – not good at all!
Poor Estella. Her father is getting sicker and she believes all her friends are ignoring her. :(
And Merry just isn’t faring too well either… heh, stupid pony…
Yay! Origo got his turkey!!! He’s ready to be on his way again.
The appearance of the men did frighten me, but at least they turned out to be helpful. So Dolly actually is telling Pip to – gasp – conserve food!
Again that frightened me – what if there wasn’t any Elves left??? But no, there’d have to be some.
I feel totally for Dolly. Dirty clothes + cold = not fun.
Origo is so determined! ^^
Author's Response: I think Pippin thought they were going to be Orcs :) Dolly hates dirt.. it's her enemy. Merry's pony was spooked by something ;) (youll see what later :P) Origo needs a cuddle, thats whats driving him on haha
I liked Pip’s dream. It contrasted sharply with his situation now. And the comparison to the snow on Caradhros really brought things into perspective – he’s come a long way since then! Now it is sad to think he’s more into drinking than making people laugh. I hope he can find himself again.
Gwerraent was so nice, I hate to say goodbye.
Silly pup; Ori should have kept in the fox den. But his loyalty to Diamond (and turkey) is quite inspiring.
Aw, Merry and Estella both just can’t say what they really mean… actually it’s kind of cute, but for the present it must be torturing them.
Clever of Merry – eat *and* walk. :) Yay! And now Merry is on the road too!
Author's Response: dont forget about the boy riding on the road ahead of them.. but the question is.. will Origo catch up?
Between Ori and Diamond, I almost forgot to worry about Pip and Dolly! Good thing Gwerraent was there. :)
The fox family is cute. Poor Ori – no turkey, just raw rabbit! At least he’s out of snow.
T he fame of Pip’s name comes in handy.
“It was equivalent to hundreds of small knives digging into his skin.” – That just makes me happy to be inside and warm.
I hope Pip remembers what is important…
Author's Response: haha... updates might be slower now.. Origo might not be safe for long.. if he stays there for a while..
Never do you fail to make my mouth water at their mealtimes: fry-ups, chocolatechip muffins, roasted chicken… ^^
The illness of her father adds another dimension to Estella’s character. Good job showing their family together.
Hehe, poor Fredegar!
But even poorer Ori! Lost, cold, alone; poor pup. :(
Author's Response: hehe... just trying to make it as real as i can ;) theres lots of Estella still to discover.. Origo has started his first adventure by himself :D
I liked this thought of Pip's: "For Diamond was more precious to him then freedom."
Wonderful! They finally have a place to rest. (And get turkey!)
Nice insight that Ori would not know what a staircase is. I hope he wakes up in time to leave.
Author's Response: haha.. Ori can sleep for hours.. lets just hope the cook is friendly ;)
Stark contrast between the Hobbiton dwellers snug in their holes and Pippin and company out in the cold, soggy wagon. Not fun!
Ah, so Pippin’s travel-lust has been narrowed to Gondor. And here he gets the idea Faramir Took! ^^
Sad dream. Hope things end up happier than that.
I like Merry and Estella’s blossoming romance. :)
Author's Response: yeah, winder is coming and outside at night is not the place hobbits want to be.. I think Merry and Estella like each other, just havent told each other..
So Pip is enjoying the puppy now. :) Origo’s obsession with turkey is cute – no one quite understands turkey is what he wants and not cheese, not anything else! :)
Sad that the people of Bree are so suspicious. I feel sorry for the Hobbits having to get back out into the cold, especially with Diamond so sick.
Looks like Pippin is following in Bilbo’s footsteps: burgling food and *whisky*!
Author's Response: i think you can spell whiskey either whisky or whiskey... Origo loves turkey haha.. the people at bree dont like hobbits because of what happened last time Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin were there...
Again, good job in displaying Pippin’s wanderlust. I liked how Diamond and Pip resolved their argument and all the details of their life – making snow Elves and all.
Diamond thinks she knew Origo before? Interesting. It is a mystery just where he come from. His loving innocence is just so sweet. He can understand them, but he's not fully aware of what's going on.
Pippin’s fear here must be on a different level from the Nazgul pursuit. Before it was just Frodo and his friends; now it is his wife and child. Terrifying suspense! Can’t wait for chapter three. :)
Author's Response: Chapter three will be posted up as soon as i can finish the second day :)
This is cute! And unique - we're getting small glimpses of the Shire post-Ring War and into the life of Diamond and Pippin. You've got their characters fleshed out real nicely - Pippin has this longing for adventures, with his obsession with Bilbo and maps, (though he's sweet by always trying to keep his wife happy) and Diamond is totally focused on household matters. Her pregnancy adds some suspense. Origo's also got good personality. I've got that image of him cleaning his bowl stuck in my mind. :) I wonder how Pip and Origo's relationship will develop.
Author's Response: haha :) thanks for the review Kitt.. i used to roleplay Origo.. so, he's sort of me lol
Oh... my... didn't they got eaten before...? grin...
Looking forward for more.
Keep up the great work that you are doing with your fic and update asap.
*Hugs & Kisses*
Have a great week and keep smiling,
Author's Response: hehe.. not eaten... :)
Great first chapter, love the way they entered the pet into their lives.
Keep up the great work that you are doing with your fic and write more... or asap.
See you in the next chapter,
Author's Response: thanks :) plenty more to come :D