OK, let's assume this is a parody, under the "humor" genre in any respectable contest, as as such, well...
Great. May I envy/feel for/pity poor/perfect GreenWingedRainbowPony?
Being in this strange place, with that wonderful gown, and that gorgeous prince...
All she misses is being the 10th walker on the quest, suffering the love of all the manly males (including dwarves/elves/etc) and we're done.
Thanks for a good laugh, and sorry for not commenting seriously.
Yes, I know such MS's are annoying, and I used to loathe them also, although I've since undergone a change of opinion. I still don't read them (and being a slash lover rarely read any sort of het romance anyway) but my dislike of them really came down to the fact that 90% of the authors had obviously never read Tolkien; they watched the films and that was it. Some didn't even *want* to read the books. I do think a fanfic writer should know the source material well.
Also most of the writers are very young and it shows. I want to read maturely written stories.
However, the hatred directed at these characters had an unexpected effect on me. I saw (and still see) most of it on reviews and forums of FFN which is jammed with GIME's. So virulent was the scorn heaped on the (mostly young) writers that I began to think of them as the underdogs, and my tendency is to support the underdog.
That does not mean that the writing is not bad, because it is; it's very rare to find a brilliant young teenage writer - although not unknown. They have not been seasoned with life and been knocked about and usually know nothing about sex and relationships, and this all shows in their stories.
But what is the reason behind self-inserting oneself into Middle-earth as beautiful, possibly skilled with weapons, gifted with powers, and as some-one whom most people (especially Legolas) love?
Tolkien's world is very male oriented. Most of the stories revolve around males, with females popping in and out. Eowyn took up arms and then gave it up to marry and devote herself (one assumes) to her husband and having children. Galadriel wielding Nenya was a force for defense, not offense, although she apparently fought at Alqualondë against Fëanor. Some wives and mothers of famous people such as Elendil and Isildur are nameless.
And the biggest Mary Sue of all? Lúthien Tinúviel, the most beautiful child of Eru to ever be born, with powers that allowed her to enchant Morgoth himself. (And who was Beren if not Tolkien self-inserting himself?)
I think when a young writer sees for instance, the Fellowship, she wants to place herself with them, and the only way to do so and be accepted is to give *herself* beauty and skills and powers that she does not have in real life. Young writers don't usually have the skill to develop deep characters, so they put everything in the shop window: beauty, charm, wit, powers. It's just what fledgling authors do. They're practicing, and really they should be allowed to get on with it. If they truly love writing, they will continue, get better and begin to create in-depth characters. Creating a beautiful, skilled and powerful OFC gives a sense of empowerment to a girl, I would think and female empowerment is not wrong; it's hard to slot feminism into Tolkien canon, but not impossible, and the more mature writers can do it well. Heck, the best ones write AU-which-should-be-canon, because it is that good.
Pink Siamese has written a superb and sweeping tale which involves an OFC from now, and has drawn a wonderful OFC native to Middle-earth, there are other mature female writers on other sites such as the Silmarillion Writers Guild who write believable OFC's and also flesh out some of the women in the Silmarillion who barely get a mention.
I know your post was just a bit of fun and a swipe against poorly-written and unrealistic OFC's, but there is a reason Legomances and GIME's are the most posted (and often most read) stories on many archives, and I don't think the reason behind wanting to write *strong women* into Tolkien's very male-dominated universe is a bad one. The best females I have read in the Tolkien fandom are actually OFC's.
I know where you're coming from, as I used to feel the same way and tear my hair out, but I now think: 'Let them get on with it.' No-one is forcing me to read them, or pay for it.
There is too much hate and nastiness in the fandom, against OFC's, AU, slash. It's peculiarly intense and distasteful and puzzles me, since if some-one does not like a story, why not just go and write one they do like? It's a waste of energy to keep flaming and making fun of people. That last was not aimed at you; it is simply what I have seen over the past couple of years and has left a really nasty taste in my mouth.
I completely understand screaming when you find yet another fantastically beautiful OFC falling in love with Legolas, but the reason for a girl *wanting* to write that in the first place comes from quite a deep place in the psyche, and is not wrong.
I do thoroughly recommend Pink Siamese's Janet Goes To Hobbitland (Rated R) which is part of her A Dawn of Many Colors universe. (A stunningly written AU) That is when OFC's really work.
Take care, sorry about the length of the comment, which is not an attack on you at all, as you were just having a laugh, (I used to feel exactly the same) but an observation on all the anti-OFC-ness, which I see.
Author's Response: Hehe thanks, that was quite a long comment, but it's good to get other people's views on this sort of thing. I quite agree with you, half of them have only seen the movies, and consequently, it's not really the character of Legolas/Aragorn/whoever they're in love with, it's Orlando Bloom/Viggo Mortensen/ whoever. The magic of the movies is *nothing* compared to the magic of the books :D But I would like your opinion: was it written ok? Grammar, etc? And yeah, it was just for a bit of a laugh :D