It's always unusual to see a male go into Middle-earth, as there are not many such stories.
There is no problem with the flow of your story. There are a lot of run-on sentences however, which a beta would probably advise you to split.
If you read some of the good authors on any archive you will see that they use both longer and shorter sentences. Short sentences, even fragments occasionally, can give great impact. It is good to have a mixture.
Here is an example by a superb writer, Darth Fingon.
It started when I was in late youth. Not yet married, but grown out of childhood, I was too old for them to take when they gathered all the boys of our village and marched them east to Caras Galadon. To be educated, they said. They would teach those boys how to read and write, how to use a bow and a sword, how to speak better and how to act like a proper grey man, even if they were Lindyn by blood.
On the narrow boardwalk that lay before him there were few locations in which to hide from his attacker (comma) but due to the fact that whoever was after him was close by (comma) he cared less about the quality of the hiding spot and more about simply finding one.