Reviews For The Price of Duty
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Reviewer: Amaranth Signed [Report This]
Date: 28/04/10 - 09:54 am Title: Chapter 14

I read all the chapters in one go, because I could not stop reading after the first two, so the review will be for all I have read so far. I really love this story, you capture the darkness that so heavily weighed on the exiles (and probably all elves in Beleriand) in the First Age so well. The first age is so full of dramatic and tragic events, the people constantly living in the aftermath of yet another war and you described this gloomy atmosphere so well. The sons of Fëanor and their deeds during the First Age, one of my favorite topics and again you write of it with such depth. Their obsession to regain the Silmarilli and how they drew all their followers with them to the awaiting doom.

And then Erestor, a youth growing up in such dark times among people who slew their own kin, yet there is hope and joy until he looses everything that is dear to him. You did a great job with getting into his head.

Maglor and Irimë, what a nice and twisted (in a positive way) idea, and the past you gave her with a husband she left and Glorfindel being her son is rather intriguing. I have in mind to write something about Irimë as well (certainly not in the near future), but I am going to pick up what Michael Martinez mentioned in his essay ‘It's All in the Family: The Finweans’, that some have wondered if Aranwë, the father of Voronwë, might not be Irimë’s husband or son (I settled for son).

Mórivo, I find this character rather intriguing even though he is a pain in the ass most of the time. There is some cold cruelty about him, yet the end of this chapter shows that there is also despair, grief, pain and loneliness…a mix I feel extremely drawn to when reading. I loved it that you involved him again at the end of this chapter…angry sex( hate sex is always so hot when well written, and you did an excellent job here.

There is only one thing that struck me as odd, you had the sons of Fëanor attack Doriath in summer, at least it seems so as in the scene where Lalauro feels Caranthir’s death, you wrote it was summer. In the Silmarillion the attack was in winter ‘They came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves; and so befell the second slaying of Elf by Elf.’ I remember when I read it in the Silm I thought only the sons of Fëanor could be mad enough to attack in winter (apart from Morgoth), but they could be relatively sure Doriath was not expecting an attack in winter. And it made me rather sad, as for Elurin and Elured this meant their chance of surviving alone in the wilds grew even smaller. Well, it does not really matter, in many AU stories I read the timeframe was slightly altered *shrug* I just stumbled over this.

I cant tell you how eagerly I’m awaiting the next chapter…great work!

~ Amaranth (Lintalómë) ~



Author's Response: Wow! Thank-you so much for reviewing Amaranth :D

I am so thrilled you liked the story, and enough to read it in one go to! *grins*

I am happy the darkness of the exiles, the kinslayers, Erestor's situation, everything came across *real* its been an imminence pleasure to write this so I am always ecstatic when I hear people have loved reading it :D

You should defiantly write about Irime! She's an intriguing character, one wonders what the daughters of Finwe were like when you see the sons :D And its a prime example of the status of women within Noldorin society. She was the daughter of Finwe, but we hear nothing about her other then that she travel to Middle Earth, when she should have had the statues of a queen and surly should have been passed the crown after Fingon died in other societies! I defiantly want to write a fic on Maglor and her, there's so much left to explore! But I don't think I've seen a single fic with her, I'd love to read one by you :D

I am relieved Mórivo comes across as intriguing, he's the most challenging character I've written, he's so complex, I shall have a time of it these next few chapters, but I look forward to it :D

Oh damn! Now that you mention it I am recalling that about Doriath too :( I think I will go back and change it. I think, as you say, it's so very Feanorian to attack in the winter!

I shall endeavor not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter, thank-you again so much for the review!

Reviewer: ebbingnight Signed [Report This]
Date: 28/04/10 - 01:36 am Title: Chapter 14

I'm fascinated by your description of the Petty-dwarves and what they planned for the elf-child. Were they keeping her down in the pit in order to sell her... or to adopt her? Obviously she was terrified, but a dwarf child perhaps would be more used to be underground in darkness? I know it's a peripheral question, but I'm so curious!!

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review ebbingnight :D

You liked the petty-dwarves? *grins* I hadn't really ever though about writing dwarves before this chapter, but the idea kind of fell on me and I saw them so clearly I couldn't resist! Unfortunately the dwarves were planing on enslaving the elf child :( Petty-dwarves hate elves even more then normal dwarves. The little I've read about the petty-dwarves points to the idea of them being caste out and perhaps having some physical disfigurements. However, I liked the idea of them having black hearts instead. They are the Eol's of dwarven peoples. They may very well have been conducting some sort of trade with the orcs as Erestor thought -one that didn't turn out to their benefit.

I think I might need to go make and touch up that part or the chapter, though maybe we're never meant to really *know* what the petty-dwarves were doing, they are very shady characters I imagine.

Thanks again for the review, I am happy you are still enjoying these angst heavy chapters :D

Reviewer: Budgerigar Signed [Report This]
Date: 27/04/10 - 12:02 am Title: Chapter 14

SOrry I didn't get to review chapter 13, but let me just tell you here and now that I liked it, despite how angsty it was. I love how you portrayed Lalauro's withering away, and eventual demise, and Erestor's reaction to that. It was very real.

For chapter 14, I also love how you portrayed Erestor as a monster, so completely different from the lost child he was at the start of the story. Also, after reading of his bloodlust and little "escapade" with Morivo, I'm now fully convinced Erestor needs help XD

Anyway, thanks for this. It was great to have something to enjoy after my computer is finally malware free! :D

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review :D

:whew: I am so happy you've enjoyed these last two chapters, they are certainly bathing in angst! I am hoping though that things will get better after Elrond and Elros enter the scene -only a few more chapters :D

Erestor *does* need help! I am not sure how everything plays out in these next few chapters, but he's still in a dark place when he gets to Sirion -remember from "To be Black." -but at least you know he heals (somewhat) over the years, he's certainly not going around half raping people in Imladris!!!! He has a lot to come to grips with and plenty of healing that's for sure!

Yeah, for malware free computers *grins*

Thank-you again for the review :D

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/04/10 - 05:36 am Title: Chapter 14

Excellent - Erestor is a tormented soul trying to alleviate his pain through coldness and excellence as a warrior. Wonderful description of the orcs too, I must say! And the vengeance of the earth against the Noldor.

And Mórivo! I am glad you have brought him back - and that hate-sex was hot. I love well written hate-sex d;-). But he seems to have been through a very harsh time. I cannot help feeling sorry for him.

Excellent again. I am so pleased you moved from FFN to truly get dark and gritty and brilliant with this story.

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review Sian :D

I am so glad you liked the orcs! It was not preplanned, I'd never actually seen orcs in any other form then the standard twisted body hideous leathery skin kind, but I am so happy you thought this worked. I think this form of orcs fit this story perfectly, all the underlying prejudices and seeing further then skin deep.

I thought the earth taking revenge was a more mystical tone that I liked, I am happy it worked :D

Yes, Mórivo is back! I want to show another side to him, he's a very complex elf, but at the same time he's still Mórivo as we saw in the way he tried to dominate Erestor yet again. He's in a fragile place, and he isn't the same elf we knew 60 years ago, but he's not 'good' either. I am afraid he has had a hard time :( But more on that next chapter ;) Oh, you liked that hate-sex *grins* me too!!

I could see myself being banned from FFN if I posted this there LOL!

Thank-you again for the review!

Reviewer: ebbingnight Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/04/10 - 03:24 pm Title: Chapter 13

Terribly, terribly dark for Erestor, and beautifully written. I haven't read the story yet for which this is a prequel, so I have no idea as to what kind of person will eventually emerge from so much loss and grief. Will Erestor take after his father, or not?

Author's Response: Thank-you for taking the time to review ebbingnight!

And thank-you for your kind words :hugs: It really doesn't matter which story you read first, actually, though it will defiantly effect your reading of the other, but there is no 'right' order. Erestor has had a hard road already, and the person we see in "To be Black" reflects this, though even at the end of that one it is not his fully story -well he is an elf their story's really never end lol- but the final chapters of his life come in in the third installment of this series (Yes, I have lots more to write ;). But Erestor does fall into a dark place after so much loss, and he does actually embark upon the path of his father, but their fate is not the same. It will be a few more dark chapters, but there is light at the end I promise!

Thank-you again for reviewing, it means a lot :D

Reviewer: Beruthiels_Cat Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 23/04/10 - 07:49 pm Title: Prologue

When this story was recommended to me by Spiced Wine, I knew it had to be something truly worthy...and she was so very right. I am utterly impressed with this beginning, so very visual, so completely lyrical in the telling. Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank-you so much for reviewing! I am so happy you are enjoying it so far.

I have really found Spiced Wine's recs to be exceptionally rewarding myself, as well. I hope you will continued to read and enjoy :D

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: 23/04/10 - 08:21 am Title: Chapter 13

Oh, you really reach into the heart and soul of grief and despair here, with some wonderful, blood-rich phrasing.

And the curse of the house of Fëanor could not be easily put aside, for curses have a talent for

Wonderful. It says it all.

The soul that had soothed with a mother’s touch had been stained in blood. She had leaned the path of grief and loss; her feet had mapped its every crevice and nook.

Irimë daughter of kings, the soul of iron rose petals was slain by the hand of one she had called kin, friend, nephew, brother.

Selfishly I clung to the scrapes of her hollow life; desperate to believe that time would heal this wound.

You have a talent for the brutality of grief that many published authors never attain.

Well done!

Author's Response: Sorry, for some reason I thought I had replied last night O_o

Thank-you Sian, wow, I am really humbled. I am thrilled that you enjoyed the chapter, and your kind words blow me away! All I can say is I went into this chapter thinking it would be one of the hardest I ever wrote only to discover it was the easiest. Rarely has a chapter flowed from me so effortlessly as this one, and I am again humbled by word words.

Hugs! You made my day :D

Reviewer: Laer Signed [Report This]
Date: 28/03/10 - 04:55 pm Title: Chapter 12

What can he say? Her soul mate, her mother, her father(?), and their father(?) are all leaving and may not be coming back. :(

Author's Response: Thank-you for reviewing Laer :D

Yes, there is so much terrible loss ahead :( Caranthir's fate we know, and Erestor's father from 'To be Black' but all at once? However will they stand it, and will there be more! The next chapter will be a hard write and read, I am thinking :(((

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: 28/03/10 - 07:26 am Title: Chapter 12

One last dance, before the sun sets. :( That came across in the chapter, even though Erestor himself is not going to war, the atmosphere of coming doom is there, Erestor knows it, Lainaras knows it. Surely the Fëanorion's know it.

As for the wild and lovely sex scene - I am as stumped as you at the line between R and NC17. I tend to rate sex scenes that use names for sexual organs or describe them as NC17. I think a good example of an R sex scene is Kenaz's Haldir and Elladan in Ionnath-Estel, and examples of NC17 is found in Pink's work.

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review :D

I think that is a very good way to measure a rating, and the more I think and compare, I think I will keep this at an R rating.

One last dance- yes that was exactly what I was going for :D I had to slip in a glimpse of sweet times, even if they were never wholly free from the bitter :( But this next chapter will be a tough write :(

I am glad you enjoyed the sex scene. That one was fun to write ;)

Reviewer: Sieanna Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/03/10 - 06:04 am Title: Chapter 11

beautiful once again *tear**, Can't wait to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: Oh, thank-you for reviewing Sieanna :D

:Hugs:

I may be crying a little as well before long :(

I am hoping to have the next chapter up in a few days, I've already started writing :D

Reviewer: Laer Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/03/10 - 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 11

I left a long review and this silly thing ate it. grrr. Ok try it again. It isn't a happy time for any of them, but well this is a much shorter version of what I said before...but they need what little bit of happiness they can get now because it is only going to get worse later :(

Author's Response: Oh stupid computers!!! I am sorry for that, but thank-you for trying again :D

So you would like a little bit of happiness before the ride to Doriath? So would I! In fact, and now I must give you thanks, and a hug! for your review has actually just leapt the hurtle I've been having over part of the next chapter!!!! I am not sure what it was, the way you worded it? But thank-you, for I've just had an idea ;) Now to get cracking, and hopefully leave a bit of the taste of happiness in our mouths before the dark plunge :(

Reviewer: Laer Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/03/10 - 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 10

He needs to remember his own words a few centuries down the road. ;-)

Author's Response: Thank-you for the reviews Laer :D

You are quite right, and I think I might have to edit 'To be Black' a little to reflect some of his unforeseen past. We didn't really see Erestor's early struggles much against loving Jaden. By the time I did the first POV change he had already surrendered to the fact that he was helplessly in love with her. Yet, I am thinking now it might have been more then his own feelings of unworthiness and past regrets that played into his struggle against his feelings. He seems to have attained a very poor opinion of love, I wonder if that stuck through the Ages or if it changed? ;)

Reviewer: Budgerigar Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/03/10 - 06:11 pm Title: Chapter 11

I just finished reading chapter 11. It was short, but great nevertheless. :) It was the bright spark in my day :P

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review :DDD

I am beyond thrilled that you liked it, and that it brightened your day ;) Yes, it is a bit short :( But I am hoping to have the next chapter out by the end of this week so maybe you will forgive me ? lol!

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/03/10 - 09:22 am Title: Chapter 11

Oooh, this is magnificent!

He was more than a son of kings, he was the crownless king.

It was in times like these when we tasted a glimmer of the glory that could have been. He that would have been greatest, who would perchance have lead our people to the very gates of Angbad to the grasp of victory, was glimpsed though shadows. Splendor masked, beauty and magnificent crushed into thousands of brilliant diamonds too broken and scattered to ever be whole again.

I truly love that.

Lalauro and Caranthir - we know it's not going to end well, any-one who's read the Silm knows it, so I think the despair is very apt between them.

Poor Erestor; he hopes for things that cannot be. :(

Great chapter. The emotion in it is wonderful!

Author's Response: Thank-you Siân :D This chapter left me feeling pretty forlorn and depressed when I went to bed last time, but this is the perfect way to start a day :hugs:

I am so glad you liked that part, it was one of my favorites too :D Maedhros is a challenging character to portray accurately, but I am so pleased you liked the description.

You didn't think the despair was too much? Whew! I am very thankful for that :D

Thank-you again for the review, I admit I really needed it for this chapter :hugs:

Reviewer: Budgerigar Signed [Report This]
Date: 22/03/10 - 01:30 am Title: Chapter 10

Fabulous story. I've become so hooked to it. I love how you twisted the plot a little, with Lalauro's love interest. I didn't see that one coming at all, and it makes me even more interested in seeing where it all goes.

I also loved how you described Caranthir. His character seems intriguing since on the surface he appears to be a very dark, slient, frigid, and mysterious elf, while one can still see glimpses of his love for Lalauro. Somehow, like Erestor, I don't see how this will end well for them both, especially Lalauro.

There is so much more I can say about the entire chapter, but I don't have the time to say it all now. I can't wait for chapter eleven! XD

Author's Response: Yes! I am so glad you found the time to read, and thank-you so much for the review, I thought you were probably just full to over loaded with school stuff :P

I am so glad your are liking The Price, it certianly is different from Black. Far darker, but I am thoroughly loving writing it! Though now I am even more excited to write the sequel for Black with all the deeper complications ;)

I am so glad you liked Caranthir, I think he will be a wonderful character to write I am enjoying him already. But you are quite right about Lalauro and him, there cannot really be a happy ending with what we already know of Caranthir's fate, and only a few more year left!!! *tears* After Doriath will be hard writing, and equally hard reading :(

Oh, I do need to get cracking on ch 11! I don't have many shifts at work the next few days so :crosses fingers: hopefully I'll at least be able to get a start! I am just as excited to see what happens lol!!!

Thank-you again for finding the time to review :D

Reviewer: ebbingnight Signed [Report This]
Date: 21/03/10 - 02:12 pm Title: Chapter 10

Caranthir Fëanorian! Yes, I have to fear with Erestor that there can be no happily-ever-after here. For Erestor, even worse than suffering himself will be to watch lovely little Lalauro go through whatever may be to come.

Author's Response: Thank-you for commenting ebbingnight :D

You are 100% right unfortunately :( I don't like to think about Doriath and its aftermath...but its coming up and fast! Poor Erestor he still has the darkest time of his life ahead! How I wish it wasn't so :(

Reviewer: Sieanna Signed [Report This]
Date: 21/03/10 - 12:40 am Title: Chapter 10

Wow, what a sad twist...I absouloutly love the way you described caranthir, That was exactly how i've imagined he would be..Please keep the chapters coming..I really can't wait on how this relationship develops.

Author's Response: Thank-you for reviewing Sieanna :D

I am so happy you liked Caranthir! He was a challenge, but I have always imagined him as a dark character too...there really isn't enough on him, he's kind of the odd Fearnorian out :( But I do see him as the dark silent moody type more then the hot tempered characterization.

I'd love to say I was almost done with ch 11, but I can't. In fact I haven't started yet :( I am still struggling with what happens next. It's the little chapter details that slow it up, I know overall plots and I have certain scenes still chapters ahead written out in my head, but its the coming together that takes some thinking, and I just haven't had the time yet to commit to thinking :( But hopefully this week :D

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: 19/03/10 - 10:09 am Title: Chapter 10

Interesting! Intriguing!
The Noldor do indeed seem fallen for their old state - the way you describe their lives now is very sobering, especially as you as writing from the point of view of some-one who was not living in the best accommodation. I always imagine the Noldor as building such vast palaces and mansions that the thought makes me sad. Though the whole Silmarillion is a tearjerker after the Kinslaying at Alqualondë. :

I very much like the way you show Caranthir's emotions: I saw there finally the emotions so long held in secret. Longing. A longing and regret so deep and hopeless I felt my own soul cry out to heal the great rift of anguish reflected in those eyes. What a bitter blessing his sheltered soul lent to us watchers. I did not wish to ever glimpse his again, it was beyond bearing.

This is very much how I feel the sons of Fëanor must have felt, especially after the Dagor Nirnaeth Arnoediad - and of course there is yet more to come since three more brothers will die in Doriath, including Caranthir.
I really...relish it when people delve fearlessly into the emotions of these damaged and brilliant people, because this is the truth, the 'sorrow at the bottom of the cup' that seems to run through Elven history like a vein of blood: the Oath of Fëanor, the Doom of the Noldor. This is what many people do not write and cannot even understand about the Elves, or do not wish to wade into such deep waters : What kind of a soul, a blackened one? What kind of hate drives one to such madness in battle? What dark secrets? But some darkness could not be hidden even in the blackness of night, for I as every other Noldor knew of the Oath and the kinslaying at Alqualondë. I would not wish such a one for my Lalauro. She deserved so much more than a damaged broken soul, lord of a disposed house and people, tied forever to a hopeless Oath.

well, hoo-rah! :D And I mean that sincerely, because when it comes to writing of the son's of Fëanor after that terrible defeat, I think these words hold the weight of their sorrow and madness.

Author's Response: You did it again! You took my breath away and left me blushing and speechless with glee by your lovely words! How do you always manage to humble me, and lift me up with a few words?

well, hoo-rah! :D And I mean that sincerely, because when it comes to writing of the son's of Fëanor after that terrible defeat, I think these words hold the weight of their sorrow and madness.

Wow! That is just too generousness of you :D The sons' of Fëanor have to be some of the toughest characters to write. There is so much know, and so much more left unsaid. Thank-you so much for that, that you think I wrote Caranthir well means so much to me.

I always imagine the Noldor as building such vast palaces and mansions that the thought makes me sad

So right. We don't hear much about the Fëanorian's, especially after Doriath, and I imagine they were living even more rusticity then this! But I enjoyed having to sit down and think over these more basic details. I do love having the opportunity to write from the outsiders point of view, too. While I love reading of Meadhros, Maglor ect. we get a whole different perspective by looking at their story from the outsiders point of view, and I love getting to write it this way :D

Reviewer: ebbingnight Signed [Report This]
Date: 19/03/10 - 01:17 am Title: Chapter 9

Well, there is plenty of blame here to go around: Erestor shouldn't have spied on the Laegrim, and he shouldn't have later exaggerated the extent of the "attack" on himself as a potential assault on all the young Noldor. On the other hand, that was a pretty harsh set of rites (being cut until he bleeds, having to kiss the alleged perpetrator) for someone who was allegedly 'wronged" by the Laegrim: there didn't seem to be any recompense for the victim there at all. :)

My guess, though, is that being "friends" with the Laegrim may indeed be helpful later on....

Author's Response: Thank-you for the review ebbingnight :D

Yes, Erestor certianly has to take some of the blame for what happened, you are quite right. And the wood elves take their secrecy a bit to seriously it might seem. Yet, if Erestor had really done as he threatened (wrongly threatened since the poor green elf hadn't really meant any harm it was just a bad case of culture ignorance) but if word had gotten out... well if what his father says about homosexual relationships among the Noldor is true -he may have old fashion beliefs, but maybe not- well one can only imagine the backlash it would cause, and it may indeed have caused more elven blood to run :(

But you are right, Erestor should not have threatened to over exaggerate the offense, but in his defense, it was an assault, but he saw it through eyes clouded by the past, and again someone touching me or almost anyone else in such a manner would seem highly offensives and crossing the line, yet for the green elves it would have been viewed as a sort of 'checking you out' letting the other know they were interested, some advanced flirting, again huge cultural differences there.

The recompense of the wronged individual was the offered payment, which Erestor refused, he didn't even ask what it might consist of... but he didn't want anything to do with that ellon, yet he ended up kissing him! I do not think he would have given in so easily to the kiss had he thought it would lead to further desires on the ellon's part, which it did :( Erestor cannot help it, it must indeed be his mysterious eyes LOL!

Thank-you again for the review, oh yes, we'll see if he stays friends with the green elves, and if this foundation will lead to anything, you bet cha :D

Reviewer: Laer Signed [Report This]
Date: 18/03/10 - 08:42 pm Title: Chapter 9

Whew. Glad it was a good (yet sad) surprise waiting for him. Poor Erestor.

Author's Response: Yes, it wasn't too bad ;) But sad, yes... but Erestor needed some help with Lalauro, he really couldn't have been both parents to her, especially at his age! But do not worry, as Irime said, Erestor will always have a place in Lalauro's heart, he hasn't lost her no matter how it feels at the moment.

Thanks again for the reviews Laer :D

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