You must login (register) to review.
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: aur Signed
You have come highly recommended by my friend L8bluemer. I like the intro to your story enough to read it in its own right w/o a recommendation. I am not a cannon purist and believe Elves swore and indulged their flesh as humans did. Thinking creatures with souls do not always choose the noblest or purest path. Stories that are real are stories we can relate to, stories that interest us. I am looking forward to joining your adventure. I joined the site simply to read and review. I do not believe in reading w/o a review. Saying nothing means you felt nothing. If I were an author I would rather have someone say they hated my character and give me a reason rather than say nothing.

Author's Response: Well hello and thank you for reading! I've probably addressed this in another review, but i'm not entirely happy with the first couple chapters and plan to rewrite them. I feel they are a little wooden. You're your own worse critic, eh? We are in agreement about human nature. I believe the cannon is there as an outline. It is what happened, but were there are gaps people will always ask what happened? The last thing i want to read in another E/L were she works in the house of healing or it's an arranged marriage or she's Eowyn lady in waiting and Eomer is some white knight. That is not interesting! And who's to say this story would be incorrect. You can ask two people to read the same story and they will both have different intrepretaions of it. Limiting yourself into these stereotypes makes for dreadfully dull characters and uninteresting plots.Too many are terribly myopic about cannon and charactarization. Dont' get boxed in! think outside the box! So many treat Middle earth as if it were a real place. If we're going to go with this idea, then let's go with it! Tolkien said it was an intreprtaion or a transalation, then why can't this be also? I'm telling a story. Men are men! Women are women!Of course they swear and curse and have histories and hang ups and are sexual beings! If they didn't no one would care about them! People are not logical. They are inherently illogical. I do sincerely appreciate all reviews! I too would have someone tell me what they didn't like or make suggestions as to improvements rather than say nothing at all. What I do hope is that you are entertained. Even when I'm writing something philosphical, or as philosphical as a cleaning lady from the rural boonies of Wisconsin can be, I still want it to be fun and interesting to read. Warning: I'm verbose and wordy. Sorry about that! LOL! Hope you will continue reading. thanks!
Date: Jan 05 2011 04:58 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 10 Loti meets a Horse Lord Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
Can you believe it? I have finally caught up. Hope your holidays were good. You said once that you compared Rohan to the US. That comes through very well here. I've spent a lot of time thinking about characters but not about the different lands. I get it. Rohan is still a young country compared to the others, yet they are growing very quickly in strength. It makes perfect sense to me. Such a great comparison. And Eomer is very passionate about it too. I think I've fallen for him a little more with his comment about politicians. (lol) You have managed to make all of this seem like real life. There is some mystery too as to why the gunpowder is being transported. It's the story within a story that makes a great read as far as I'm concerned. Just to let you know, I tell everyone I meet about this story and hope some will eventually jump on board. They are missing out if they don't. You are a good author and storyteller. Keep it up. Now on to Minas Tirith.

Author's Response: Thanks as always for your supportive words! I plan to rewrite the first couple of chapters so it is smoother more storytelling-like read. I find the longer I write the smoother it becomes... Writer's evolution I suppose... Practice makes perfect. I would very much like to submit this for MEFA this year. I am finding though, this is a very complicated story to tell for a beginner! Maybe that's why I haven't given up on it yet! It is a challenge everyday! Cannonites might look down their nose at this idea that Rohan is similar to the United States, but in order for this story to differ from all the other boring same old same old stories about E and L I have to look outside the box. I really do see Rohan as a place that's almost wild west like too maybe. Very small towns, most rural, very spread out, people have to be self sufficent in order to survive and not rely on Edoras to take care of them. I thought about the whole politician thing too. He was a soldier, like his father before him and it probably wouldn't be and easy transition for him to assume the role of being a politico. I think he might have trouble adapting and conforming. There are still some adventures yet to be had but I think what happens in Minas Tirith will be exciting!! and an evolution of of their relationship. Next chapter is a relatively short one for me anyway... should be posted soon!
Date: Jan 03 2011 09:09 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 10 Loti meets a Horse Lord Reviewer: Crencestre Signed
Sorry for delay. I think I am as frustrated as our young lovers appear: I want all of this story and I want it now! I sense that this chapter is a kind of starting platform for the plots that brings them together finally. I'm looking forward to the visit to Minas Tirith where L will have to face her brother's death as well as meet the other characters. Talking of characters, I love the way the story is peppered with little interludes of pyromaniac dwarves, camp elves and blond twins: they add real depth to the story. As does your sensory descriptions, especially smell and touch.

And I laughed at the snake symbolism. Roll on some more 'snake taming' ;)

Author's Response: Hello! Yes this was rather an important chapter. Got to see a little more of E's political beliefs. I am also excited for them to go to Minas Tirith!! I hope you will like what happens when they get there. This story has a cast of thousands! Like real life, some people are quirky. There is alot of tension between E and L. Eomer also has alot of problems. He's a jerk and an ass to Loti so she will stay away. But you'll eventually understand why he does what he does.
Date: Dec 28 2010 03:25 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
So many stories have the main characters meeting and falling in love at first site. But this is the way it should be. They are slowly getting to know each other. A trip to the market was the perfect way for them to spend some time together. Of course there is still much they don't know about each other. Lots happening in town; wheeling, dealing and almost stealing. What I wouldn't give to be rescued by Eomer. Loved the bartering scene. Reminded me of that show on TLC Pawn Stars. (lol) Eomer and Loti's relationship is developing wonderfully. I just love this story. You are truly gifted.

Author's Response: I should thank each reader individually for reading all 31000 words of that chapter! Unlike your characters of Leggy and Rhav, they've really only just met and they have no bond. What was Eomer before he was King, what did he do when he wasn't soldiering? He was a lord but he was most likely a farmer. Farmer equals businessman in my book. (I am from Wisconsin lol!) And most of the businessmen i know, myself included are very conservative with their money. He'd want to get the best deal possible. Eomer is generous to a fault, but he's also cheap. That cheapness is a part of his political philosphy too. how he runs Rohan and how and why he earns the name blessed... all will be explained! lol! Your reviews are always appreciated!!
Date: Dec 16 2010 08:07 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
So much going on and all of it so intense. I started reading this chapter this morning and couldn't stop until I got to the end. And they say women have a ticking life clock. I can see Eomer's struggle with the fact that he has no heir yet. I'm sure marriage came at an early age in ancient times and the King must look like he is getting pretty old by their standards. He is still holding out for something real and not just a baby maker. That is what seperates him from the rest. I just love your development of Eomer. He's not much for conversation but his heart is big. There are so many more great things to say but I don't want to go on too long. You know I love your writing and that's all I need to say about that.

Author's Response: Thank you for your words of encouragement, especially on a day when I am feeling insecure and overly critical. You know, I think everything I write is crap, and that is just not modesty. I've heard writers are inherently insecure... I'm rather inclined to believe it! lol I'm sure they would've gotten married young too. Sort of why I gave every body else wifes and lots of kids. But not E which is strange. But sort of makes sense. I belive Eomer is ambitious and driven. (Prob part of the reason why his uncle is so swayed by Grima when Grima tells suggests it.)Boromir was and I think that was part of the reason he was not married. Theodred, I'm not so sure about, but one could speculate its the same reason. They just don't have time for relationships. Possible reason for all of Eomer's one night stands, an unsual thing for a romance hero. I see the Rohirrim as an erotic culture where sex is considered important and not something taboo. They have a precarious existence so procreation would mean survival. These ideas of virgin brides are all christian idea. They ancient greeks and romans and egyptians didn't see things the same why. Their culture is so different from that of the "civilized" world of Gondor, etc, that i think there would be those who would see the Rohirrim as barbaric and thier views of sex wicked, or vular or primitive. The last thing I wanted was for Rohan to be some sort of Fairytale land. This is real life, sex is part of the human condition. Accept it and move on! LoL!!
Date: Dec 07 2010 12:55 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
I love how you made both of them so vulnerable at the same time, Loti by admitting her fear and Eomer for going against his beliefs of endangering a woman. I could feel layers of hatred and tension fall away. Great explanation of the reason the enemy wanted Eomer dead. It’s a great storyline and very real as you are so good at doing. I love that there is nothing ‘happily ever after’ about the start of the fourth age and Aragorn’s acceptance as the new king. Of course there are those who would have protested and disagreed especially in the line of Stewards. As time allows me, I am slowly catching up with your story and enjoying every word of it. I have recommended you to others, especially my elf loving friends. It is a story that should not be overlooked.

Author's Response: Thanks alot! It's nice to read such nice things when feeling a bit insecure! I enjoyed imagining what politics after the WOTR might be like! I sort of molded the Haradrim after the scottish clans since it seemed reasonable after what Tolkien wrote about them. Why people think everyone flew kites of peace and pinwheels of hope after Aragorn takes over is beyond me. powerful men crave power. who would want to give that up? Isn't that what makes Boromir sympathetic? Aragorn just shows up one day and everybody goes 'yeah! everything is great!'? I see Rohan as the opposite of that. Not bureaucratic at all, and extremely stable and well positioned in the world. Rohan, to me, at the end of the war strongly resembles America's role in the world.(Some will get really pissed when I say that). Strong and stable gov, military, leadership. Seriously, who's gonna want to mess with them after 6000 of them took on, like 25000? This is just my interpretation. I also believe Eomer's roles as Lord and Marshal are extremely important, and vastly understated, to his view of the world, what kind of King he is and what beliefs he has. I wanted it to be alot different than the rest! It may be boring to some but the sub plot has a direct effect on the romanctic storyline. I am verbose... It may take a while to get through the other chapters... sorry!
Date: Dec 03 2010 07:58 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Crencestre Signed
Stunning! I love this story so much :)

I really like how complex (and realistic) you've made Eomer and how he's been fleshed out in this chapter. I particularly like the way that you use his armour and sword to help represent his emotional state. I loved Elfhelm and how his character makes Eomer's youth apparent and less 'all powerful King'.There was also a little glimpse of a rather amoral Imrahil, again an older man who seems capable of influencing Eomer. I'm now wondering what will happen between the two of them when the truth comes out.

You describe beautifully not just the intensity of falling in love, but you also really get across the fragility and uncertainty of the whole thing from the characters' point of view and how much both of them will have to risk (no easy thing when the outcome is known). And gods, it's hot!

Since you asked, and only since you asked, I only have a few, very small, criticisms. Unless it crops up in the next chapter, I wasn't entirely convinced by the attack on Loti. The attack itself and Eomer's reaction to her scream was really well written, easpecially his sense of dread, but the aftermath (coffee and shopping) seemed to be superficial. Maybe they wanted to forget, dunno. The only other thing is typos/spelling: in writing at such a high standard, they are distracting (I'm a sad grammar nazi, I know, sorry).
Looking forward to another chapter soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for such a well thought out and positive review. Why a man like Imrahil is seen as a puritan is beyond me. He's a man and flawed just like any other. Even in the cannon every character has some sort of flaw or weakness. I think men just see things differently than women and morality is can only be defined by the character. I do appreciate the criticism. It is a lesson in humility. lol! Ususally I post here first and then on Fanficton.net, so it tends to be a little rougher on here. I'm not really too concerned about punctuation or spelling (although I don't disagree it is important)Since ultimately I want to write romance, I'm more concerned about pacing, conflict character and plot development. That's what an editor is for right?! :-o I'm purposely holding back alot about Eomer's emotions and his reasons for treating Loti the way he does. In all of that thirty thousand word chapter,I did give one hint as to his key motivation. (why he buys her stuff, and humors her sometimes). But I also don't think that's for Eomer to tell you, you will find out from someone else close to him...I am glad that you are pleased and entertained, which is ultimately the what i hope you will be. This is my first attempt at writing anything so you will have to bear with me!
Date: Nov 20 2010 02:58 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
I don't what to say. I am left speechless. Awesome chapter. The tension is magnificent. This is the best Eomer ever written. Makes me want to abandon my elf obsession... almost. What a man! Loti pushes him hard and he almost gives in but always remembers his beliefs. Hot stuff here. Excuse me while I take a cold shower. hehe

Author's Response: He's such a sleaze bag sometimes. But why not? He's twenty nine and single. One of the rules of romance writing is the hero and heroine never sleep with anybody else except each other. But why? In this case, he has lived his own life the way he's wanted to for years, so why would meeting the heroine stop him from being what his is and doing what he's always done. Character have their own histories and issues just like anyone else. and i think when they finally get together that will make the change in him and her trust in him more powerful. Fuck Prince Charming, I prefer barbarians.
Date: Nov 16 2010 01:05 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
This chapter was one of the hottest I've read in a while. The sexual tension between these two makes the pulse race. Love the bits of humor thrown into the mix as they spit insults back and forth. And then you bring us back to despair as Loti remembers her family and her how she ended up where she is now. You are truly talented and are going into my favorites category. I just can't say enough. Thanks for this.

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks for such a nice and well thought out review! It is appreciated. I think the first few chapters could be rewritten at some point. But, I think only with perspective do you realize that things could be presented better. It took me a few chapters to really understand these two.
Date: Nov 12 2010 09:38 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
Loved the exchange between them as she hid ready to fire her bow. Laughed when she told him he hit like a girl. I feel her pain and her frightfulness for what might happen to her. Loti is one of the strongest leading ladies I have read. Love that about her. Eomer will definitely be her match in that way. Great chemistry already.
Date: Nov 08 2010 08:23 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: L8Bleumr Signed
Hi Duchess. I have just started reading this and I'm only on the second chpt. But I just had to say that I am completely enthralled with this story. What an awful life she has had thus far. Already I'm yearning for Eomer to come and sweep her off her feet. I'm sure it won't be that simple though and look forward to reading more. Great writing. Very descriptive and poetic rhythm. I've got some catching up to do but just wanted to let you know what a great job you are doing and that I am hooked. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Author's Response: Thanks for the nice words and review! I have a tendacy to be verbose, but hopefully that makes it seem more realistic.
Date: Nov 05 2010 08:42 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: teacalm Signed
The dynamics of Eomer and Loti's relationship changes to the point of no return; indeed, no turning back. But I like the fact, that before the last scene, is the thawing of Eomer and Loti's heart. It just shows you that no matter what or where your station is in life, the rules of attraction and chemistry, does not know any boundaries. When it strikes, it strikes hard. I love the details of your story; you take the time to develop each character's turning of change of heart. Never a dull moment. Pleassseee continue, and much thanks.

Author's Response: Thanks for such a clear well thought review!! I agree sometime you don't know why you're attracted to some people, and sometimes it's people who you might not even consider getting to know! Romance, love, sex, attraction... it's all just part of the human condition.
Date: Sep 23 2010 09:45 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: teacalm Signed
This story is sucking me into the vortex of the Black Hole. Please do not stop and finish. A pleasure indeed! Thanks so much.
Date: Aug 31 2010 01:14 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Riel Signed
Loving this story....love the direction, love her attitude!!! Great to see a story thats not all lightness and fluff! Please keep going...I'm waiting with baited breath.
Date: Aug 23 2010 12:46 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Vanwa Lullaby Signed
Heyy! I had no idea that you were on here too...

Author's Response: HI! Yah! Exposure is good!
Date: Jun 05 2010 05:01 pm [Report This]
You must login (register) to review.