Well the story was a little cheesy, like the fact that the girl is so pretty she radiates a light that makes him look away. Also your use of verbs is very off. You go from past to present in one sentence, like when you wrote "Legolas moaned with pleasure...he feels the throbbing" that's not the right use of verbs, instead it should have been he felt the throbbing or he moans. That threw me off a bit, the story was alright. It did have a good plot.
Short and sexy. A good read. I was a little confused when she called him her husband, but I see where you were going with it.
Author's Response: i wanted to run away from the fan fic i had going. I wanted something sexy and has some family feel to it. Hope it wasn't too confusing