I like the detail with which you've invested your world. Also, it's great that you got right into the story.
Two suggestions: 1, I think it would be easier to read if you gave it a space between paragraphs. 2, In the first chapter, Saellyn is in his twenties, while here he is fifty.
Author's Response: Thanks Ria. And I'm sorry about the paragraphs. when it make the jump from my word processor, the spaces dont survive. I changed it, thanks for bringing it to my attention. And about the age...oops! haha i have the story on 2 different computers, and while one had age congruency, the other didnt. i changed that too, should make more sense now. Also, I have a question, would it be better if the main character were younger? because of his numenorean blood, i wanted to make him older, but I wasnt sure. any advice?