Wow, there's so much good stuff here. Such tension and confusion, but also love. Love does, after all, conquer all!
And yes, I probably would have been mad at Terrwyn if she would've slept with "the big O."!
YOu have several examples of really good descripitive writing. I could see and feel O behind Terr. And some of the choices of words, or maybe the way you chose to describe actions lent themselves to the visual very well. Sometimes I wish I was as good as you are at saying things so succinctly, or so simply.
You know, I really think you should try to write some publishable. I think you could find a real niche in writing historical fantasy involving elves and maybe ancient Britain or the ancient Celts. Now, this is just my personal opinion (and long days spent alone with no company except the vaccum cleaner and my overly active imagination) but I think this elves in real life thing has potential. I mean, you've read Outlander. Those people really believed fairies and water horses actually existed. If all you know is the world around you, why not? Who's to say otherwise? If you believe something exists--god, angels, the devil, monsters, then they do. Have you thought about writing a book from this kind of perspective? Not that you have to... but, just a suggestion, since I know elves is your thing. You don't have to abandon them just to write publishable stories. You just have to approach it in a different way.
Did you ever see that show on the Histroy channel about LOTR... Clash of the Gods it was called. See if you can't find it somewhere online to watch... I'll see if I can link the episode to you.
Oh! And thanks for the Packer's shout out! I hope they don't lose to the Lions! YOu never know what Lions team will show up!
Author's Response: I have given a lot of thought to trying my hand at writing something original. For me, it's a big step, climbing out of the Tolkien sandbox. I'm not sure it would be with elves though. I do love writing them in fanfiction, but my own work I'm not so sure. I do love fantasy and ancient times. I know there is something there, I just haven't thought of it yet. It would be a dream come true and I'm not giving up hope that it will happen. Writing is too deeply embedded in my soul.
I love Feredir's fierceness, his intensity. You've written him very consistantly. I disagree with the idea that characters don't always act in character. When they don't, they better have a good reason for not, otherwise they seem phony.
O really knows how to push Fer's buttons. And Fer reacts in the way O expects, the pig headed bugger. I don't think O is a bad guy, just an antagonizer. Is it possible O is jealous in some way of Fer? It doesn't really seem as if he hates Fer, but boy, there's anamosity there, possibly onn both sides.
Hmm... Terr, she's kind of a pervert! LOL
Author's Response: Honestly, I don't understand that statement that characters don't always act in character. How else are they supposed to act other than as themselves? Now, they develop and grow during a story, but they always keep that element that makes them them. So I agree with you on that (or agree with your disagreement, lol). Orth and Fer . . . my, my, my! There is definitely anamosity between them. There are issues they have yet to deal with, jealousy and envy, but hate, no they really don't hate each other. They are brothers that clash and in time they will see each other the way they were meant to be. And Terr . . . you gotta love a girl that peeks. I know I would, hehehe!!!
It was a wonderful chapter, but I pity Feredir for having such a brother. Being told you are not as worthy as the others from a young age can leave traces and scars. On the one hand I think his jealousy is very promising but on the otehr hand hand I think it could lead to the ruin of Fer & Terr. But of course, I know you would never do that to them (hopefully). I feel like arousing Orthorien and leaving him like this as a punishment. He knows about his brothers affections and still acts against them to probably annoy Feredir. I feel like punishing him now ... poor Feredir!
Author's Response: Orthorien is a soldier and has been since a very young age. He thinks like a soldier too, which is why he has always been very demanding of Fer. I guess you could call it tough love? Not always the best way to handle things. It was unfortunate that Fer overheard his brother talking down about him to their mother. He was trying to make a point, but that was not what Fer heard. An so it's been the basis for their misunderstandings. Like men, they have chosen to run or hide from it instead of dealing with it. Is Orth wrong for going after Ter? On the one hand yes. He knows Fer is interested in her. On the other hand, Orth has that 'well, I don't see your name on it' mentality. Ter is also a little guilty in this situation too. She has been spending a lot of time with Orth hoping to make Fer jealous, but she does not know their rough history at this point. Now, you don't need to go and worry for Fer and Ter. This whole situation is going to push them in the right direction. Oh and btw, Fer says it's about time he got a little sympathy, lol.
*Sigh* What a beautiful chapter, even thought it was bittersweet. It was a very unique and smart way to tell Feredir's backstory. A lovely way to "tell a story" rather than just marching the characters through the story timeline.
One of the topics you address in this chapter, intentionally or not, is how much of yourself or your personality is inherited and how much of you is a product of your enviroment. Diana Gabaldon addresses this idea in her later books, especially those involving Roger and Briana, so Congrats on writing like a pro! Clearly, Feredir has inherited some of his agressiveness and...passion from his father. Orth, though on the other hand, is basically a soldier from birth and doesn't seem to exhibit this same passion. It's just what he's always done. Fer also seems to have his mother's inner strength and, although he doesn't show it very often, her tenderness of heart. He obviously cares very deeply for his mother. She appears to have been his shield, probably sheltering him from what others said or did when he was younger. And you can see the influence of elven society on him...maybe that sense of justice or rightness?
Although he's a mixture of human and elf, ironically, he's more or less a black and white guy. There's not alot of gray area in Feredir's world.
What I think liked the most though was
the male/female dynamic between Laveth and Alagon. Males with always behave like males. And Alagon's inattention to his wife doesn't make him a bad guy. It's unfortunate, but he just is what he is. And likely he had this single minded focus when Laveth met him.
I understand why Laveth does what she does. She's looking for something to fill the void of her hubby and son's absense. A purpose, fulfillment. No one is paying attention to her at home. When that happens, any woman, or man, will look for attention elsewhere.
Yes, Laveth is strong. She has to be! She's the heroine in this tale, but strength doesn't always equate to bravery. I think Laveth is very brave to admit her indiscretions and continue to live among those who (perhaps) ridicule her and her son.
I see now the sort of connection between that one little story you wrote and this one!
Oh, I noticed you called Callo a widow. I think you mean widower. Easy enough to confuse.
Author's Response: This was exactly what I wanted to show here, Feredir's likeness to his mother and their special bond. He has her determination, her stubbornness and yes, her tenderness too. It shows every now and then when he thinks no one is looking. I think Laveth wishes she could have had more influence on Orth too, and maybe a small part of her did. We haven't seen it yet, but Orth has more scenes later in the story. He's not all that he seems to be so far. Laveth loved Alagon very much and she knew just who she was marrying, although she probably thought she'd have more involvement. So when the nest was empty, she went out and made a new life for herself. That was Alagon's downfall, not seeing her for all she could do. But then, had he not been the way he was, we'd never have Fer. So in the end everything happens for a reason. Oh, and thanks for pointing out that little slip. As many times as I went over this piece, I still missed that, but already fixed it. ;-)
My favorite, and only thing I like about having my original computer stolen, is that When I come back online, I find five new chapters of this to read. It's like an early Christmas! Please, continue this, and I love this chapter by the way, very good back story
Author's Response: Oh gosh stolen computer? That's not good. On the other hand, good to see you back. 5 chapters? You had some catching up to do. Glad you liked this chapter. I really wanted to give Fer's parents their own little side story. So, Merry Christmas, lol ;-)
to your answer to my last review: I don't have anything in particular in mind, but I will think of something. I can be very creative if the need arises. But only if that is the case. I hope he can right this without me interfering.
To this chapter: It was a very nice idea to put a chapter in with the background of Feredir's existence and heritage. It explains a lot of things about his character and actions.
To Feredir: you better get back into Terr's good graces soon, or I'll show you suffering!
Author's Response: Yea, I felt it was time for a little history lesson on Fer, why he is the way he is an all. As far as him and Ter, it won't be long and I think he'll find a pretty good way to make things up to her.
Such a beautiful chapter. And well written. Some good similies.
I sort of saw the Orthorien think coming but not the half brother part. That makes it a bit more intersting.
Feredir is well fleshed out in this chapter. He's very much a tortured soul. Really sort of alone in the world if not lonely. His insecurities make him sympathetic and real. Terr really is his balance, isn't she. And he's like her rock. I could feel the tension between him and Ortho.
Knowing how unpredictibly you write sometimes I have no idea where this story will go or end up. This is a good thing as far as I'm concerned! I have sort of a bad feeling about what might happen but that's why I keep reading! Cause I can't wait to find out!
Author's Response: You pegged it about Fer and Ter. They really to even each other out, and more so in the future. I have to laugh at some of your guesses and I almost felt like Orth's identity might be a let down. Really like that one idea about a mystery man turning out to be the father. Like you said, may be fuel for another story. Fer and Orth have a lot to work out. There's quite a bit of animosity between them. It will be explained as well as Fer's parents history. I like that you think I'm unpredictible. I just hope it doesn't go into confusing. But I try to remember that simple is better.
Oh, I could kill Feredir for what he just did. Poor Terrwyn. I mean, I always knew that Feredirs human side is stronger than he thinks and I guess this act of jealousy was one of the more human traits. Such an idiot. I feel like hitting him with something. I hope he works this out with Terrwyn before he goes to his mother. I know it will be sad for her but I think she'll be happy if he is. If Feredir doesn't right this with Terrwyn ... well I'll think of something. But it will not be pleasant.
It was nonetheless a wonderful chapter, full of surprises and information that has me guessing about what is to come.
P.S. I knew I didn't like Orthorien!
Author's Response: Feredir was peeking over my shoulder as I read this and now he wants to know what kind of punishment you have in mind. BTW, he's got this sly look on his face and he's making obscene gestures with his hands. Thanks again Leia and . . . oops, gotta go. (Fer, cut that out) ;-0
I have to confess I've just created an account solely to write a review... I am really fascinated with your story! I have read many, many LotR fanfics, even written some a few years back, and yours is one of the best and most original I've ever encountered. I love your writing - it's clear, very descriptive, and you have that rare gift of literally being able to move the reader into a world you've created. I've read these 31 chapters during a few very pleasurable hours and I'm impatiently waiting for the next one - and it's really nice to find a good LotR story that's still being updated, too. Good luck with continuing the story! :)
Author's Response: Hello Gejda. Nice to meet you. I am completely flattered by your review. Thank you, thank you. Comments like yours are what make writing fanfic worth all the blood, sweat and tears. There is plenty more to come. I've never left a story unfinished and I don't plan to. I like to update regularly so another chapter will be along soon. Hope you will continued to be entertained. ; - )
Arg! You're keeping us in suspense over who Orthrorien is! How cruel and positively great! There must be some real tension, and not of the good kind between those two.
You're doing a very good job of working in the mystery part of this story and building it, dropping little hints her and there, adding details. This story is a mystery, of a sort. Personally, I don't see how people write mysteries, they are so complex and require alot of planning. (So says the girl writing an enormously epic and complicated storyline lol. I read somewhere that Romantic Suspense/Thrillers are some of the more difficult stories to write. Probably since they have two actual plots instead of one plot and one sub plot.
That whole scene you did there with O and Terr was wonderful. It's so hard to write that fantastical stuff, especially if you've never experienced anything simliar to losing yourself is time and space. I did get this sense that she was involved with some inner struggle, losing her self or whatever, while time still went on around her or without her, as the case maybe. I thought it was wonderful writing.
I can sense the electricity between O and Terr too and was actually squirmy and upset that she might really want to run off with O!
Such a good start to this chapter too with a non sequetir.
Author's Response: In my previous review, I said Orth would be revealed next chp. I meant after this one, sorry. I'm much futther ahead in my writing than the chps I post and get lost sometimes. I'll tell you, this is my first attempt at a mystery/suspense/romance story and I didn't start out that way. It's taken on a life of its own, forcing me to get out of my comfort zone and it is not at all easy. I've written myself into a situation that I had to get out of, which meant going back and revising about 4 or 5 chapters. It's hard to look ahead without it being overwhelming. I've never second guessed myself so much, but I'm having a great time with it.
It just occured to me that I read this Chapter but never reviewed it! Sorry about that! I know reviews feed the soul and you look forward to them.
I wonder if this mysterious elf patient will play a bigger role in this story? Will he make advances towards Terr making Fer mad? or Oh! this just occured to me! Is this Fer's father?! That would rock! Have you told us yet who was the Gondorian--his mother or father? What a complication that would be if both father and son fell for the same girl! (This is just my imagination taking over... Possible fodder for another story for you there!)
The way you sort of wrote Terr's hesitancy around him is very believable. This mysterious new guy must be something else!
This sentence: Horphen smiled and patted Feredir on the back. “It’s good to have you back, brother.”
Is that brother as in companion or brother as in family relation. I guess I'll have to read on and see, but nice way to leave the scene open. Again, though, interesting possiblities.
Author's Response: No worries, but I am glad to hear from you. I gotta say, you have just as overactive an imagination as me, some really good guesses. I do have a chapter coming up that explains Feredir's heritage, but to let you in on it early, his mother was an elf and his father a Gondorian. Orth will be revealed next chapter. As for Horphen he is a brother in arms, not blood related. He's actually Fer's best friend and battle partner.
I am not quite sure what to make of Orthorien. Something tells me not to trust him and think him "bad" but I guess I'll have to wait. I also wonder what was in Feredir's past that he knows him. I could imagine competing for the same elleth, since both are quite the charmers.
I think it a very happy thing that many different people see that Feredir feels for Terrwyn. Maybe they can convince him to see it himself. I really, really love that he said not ot going back to the border and rather would like to sta with Terrwyn until she is released, for good or bad, that remains to be seen.
Author's Response: Orthorien is sly like a fox. Some people like that and some don't, but he enjoys the chase. Feredir is still coming around. He is very fortunate to have such an understanding Captain. Glandur has always been very fair. I think Ter will be surprised to see Fer again.
The new elf should get better and out of the healing house before Feredir gets back from the borders. Or there will be some serious tension. :-)
I like the maternal concern of Limil for Terrwyn. It is very sweet.
Author's Response: Well, Feredir will not be too happy that's for sure. Oh, and I've got another pic to send you. I think it is the best Feredir yet. Thanks again.
Terrwyn and Feredir's relationship is coming along nicely. Glad he found the butterfly for her. That should go a long way to take it even further. I know better than to think it's going to go smoothly however.
Author's Response: You know how it is. Love is never easy.
This was a nice chapter. Light and hopeful. Fun...Ah, stimulating! lol
Curuven and Limil are great. They add humor and a lightheartedness to the story.
I can't wait to find out what happens in the next several chapters!
Author's Response: Curuven and Limil are fun to write for. That scene was inspired by my husband and I making chili sauce. 16 years of marriage and I just found out that he doesn't know what a simmer is. Oh well, I guess I'll still keep him, LOL.
wonderful chapter. Atleast now both admitted that they love the other, now they only have to confess to each other and somehow I have the feeling that the butterfly will play a part in that. I know it is always said that elves are very perceptive, as are Limil and Curuven but maybe Feredir's human half is strong in this, as he didn't see Terr's love for him as the others did.
I will patiently wait where the butterfly will journey now
Author's Response: Hi Leia. I think you bring up a good point about Feredir's strong human side. It does seem to interfere with his elvish intuition sometimes and it probably did so here with Terrwyn, along with his arrogant pride. Nice insight! I'm glad you are ready to wait patiently . . . that's all I'm sayin'. lol
You know I hate to mirror Duchess comments but the description of the vase and esp the desk, beautiful. I can see everything. Also, I liked the way Terr and Fer are beginning to admit their feelings for each other in a round about way, their hands touching until the tips of their fingers finally part as he leaves to do the Captain's bidding. Btw, never get tired of Captain Glandur!
Another brilliant chapter from an outstanding author! I am always impatient for what you will come up with next.
Author's Response: I think the touch of their fingertips might have been their first real genuine feelings, you know the ones outside of lust and need. And what more can we say about Captain Glandur. He is one of a kind.
I can't believe this, my internet was down for some time and there are five more chapters! Thank you so much.
As for the main characters - they've just managed to get along and now they are separated. You are quite a tease.
And finally, what became of Terrwyn brother, I wonder?
Author's Response: Good to hear from you again. Yes, I like to make sure I update regularly. Glad your internet is back. I don't know what I'd do if I lost mine for a long period of time. Well, don't worry about these two. Good things are on the way and I promise not to tease much longer. Well, maybe just a little more.
For some reason, Limil reminds me of Geillis Duncan. I mean, without all the scheming! Maybe it's just that part where she makes casual conversation about the vase and then invites her into her own personal room. I like her though, Limil, not Geilis, and enjoyed her story. I love those little tidbits about supporting characters. I bet she's got lots of stories to tell!!lol
Your description of the vase is wonderful. Very, sort of elvish in it's description. I can actually see it.
Your descriptions of the upstairs rooms and Limil's study are very straight forward. I do like the way you told us about what her desk looked like. Very imaginative. But, my point is, yes, it's straight forward, but it also tells us alot about Limil and Curuven. It's character description, showing through telling, not just setting the scene. I think you've said before you don't like setting the scene or find it difficult or something to that effect, but that's why it is important to do so. Yes, you're right, the scene, in this case, does become the characters.
You've built up the tension right at the begining of this chapter so that we're compelled to keep reading!
Okay, so you know all this talk about elves... I always roll my eyes and groan at the hard core elf lovers. Really, I just don't get it (to each their own though!)... But! You write almost solely about elves and yet, I read your stuff almost exclusively. Not because it's about elves, but because there's something about the way you tell a story, or... how fertile your imagination is...how compelling your characters are...your ability to hook me into the story...your understanding or romance or passion (the practical or otherwise)... your story development... the way you're able to convey stories about the human condition, that indefinable whatever that makes me want to read what you write. If I didn't think your stories were good, or if I started to read them and they bored me, frankly, I wouldn't take the time to read them.
I think maybe that's what separates your work from those of other writers of elvish romanance, be they het or slash. That you do the best work you can while still maintaining your perspective, not taking yourself too seriously. You're broad minded. You see the big picture and where you fit into it. Others may be better writers or have a better understanding of technique, but what they produce is sooooo boring, so uncompelling, and so lacking of understanding of the human condition (too philosphical) that I'd rather read the ingredient list on a can of soup. Just fricking entertain me for 15 mins! You always do that!
Author's Response: I don't know what else to say except thanks for all of you kind and encouraging words. OK, so I'm one of the elf lovers. The first step is admitting you have an obsession, LOL. But I've read so many fanfics about elves that are so generic, just pointing out the obvious facts. I already know all of that and I don't want to read or write about it. What I want to do is create a world where my own characters have their own lives, loves and tribulations. Anyone that knows LOTR or elves or anything else will know the rules. I'm here to show the stories that haven't been told. So I play in Tolkiens world while I do it. It's fun. It pushes me to think up my own timelines and plots. And though they are elves, they still need to act in a way that people can relate to. I'm just glad you have an interest in my stories. Your reviews, your suggestions and all the things you point out help me so much to make sure I'm staying on track and know that I'm still entertaining.
Hello, I'm back again.
It is very sad that those two have to part for a short time.
But right now I want to be Terrwyn. I want to have access to such a library, too. I am such a bookworm.
*makes a turn back to the story* I only hope now that those information gatherers found at least something for the elves to work with because 1 Terrwyn deserves it and 2 I need happy ends =)
Author's Response: I like to imagine the things Limil must know and write about, being she has lived for so long and seen so much. Terrwyn is very lucky. And Feredir will get a dose of 'don't know what you've got til it's gone' while he's away.