I really like your story, L8Bleumr. It's darker than usual ff and not fluffy, which makes it more realistic. I can't wait for the future chapters and more characters' development.
P.S.: Dreamy image of Feredir could look like this: http://www.orgsites.com/wa/maeglin/maeglin4.jpg
Maeglin wasn't Peredhil but as a blacksmith, he could have a similar body figure.
Author's Response: Hello there Sakuras. Nice to meet you and thanks for your kind words. Hey, I checked out your image and OMG, you so have it down. I am gonna send you my inspiration through this site so you can see how close you are to seeing the same Feredir as me. Love your pic and thanks so much. Fer is not your typical lithe elf. He's got some brawn, I guess from his human half. Thanks so much and hope to keep you entertained.
wow. I never expected Feredir to give up his easy and enjoyable lifestyle so easily. And for Terrwyn nonetheless. I think he already knew that his heart was in it, but he didn't want it, so why now? I look forward to his own struggle and his struggle with his "lag"
Author's Response: I think Feona is very convincing, but I also think Feredir knows deep down his feelings for Terrwyn cannot be denied much longer. However, Feona wasn't gonna let him go without one last taste *WinK* It's nice to have you come along on this Journey Lady Leia. Thanks for your support.
This is one of my favorite chapters so far. The emotions of Fer and Ter are so clear. The inner struggles and feelings of both of them are so real, so palpable. Fer’s pride is hurt because a girl almost got the better of him, dared to try, and only a woman with that kind of spunk would attract him.
Ter is bold in her speech to the Captain, but what she says makes sense. I find it rather impressive that Glandur apologizes to her. Most men, elf or mortal, in a position of such authority would not.
Ah! The elves leave middle earth. How sad! Nothing ever said about this makes me happy. I know they are going to a haven that has been prepared for them. Good for them and sad for us. So glad Captain Hottie , uh that is Captain Glandur is staying. That means other elves will too.
Your story is so riveting! Hope you never stop writing for us. Then the elves really will be gone from us.
Author's Response: I think subconsciously it turned him on to think that she would even consider escaping from him. I'm sure bigger men would not have tried a stunt like that. As much as he wants to make her suffer, he can't. Again, like you said, inner struggle between elf and man. As far as Glandur, he is stern, he is in charge, he is fair, but most of all he is an elf and he forgets sometimes what it is like for humans and their limited time. He's not afraid of damaging his pride by apologizing. It is sad to think that the elves will leave Middle-earth, but I don't think it happened overnight. Yes, their numbers slowly dwindled down, but there is nothing to say they did not take hundreds of years to completely go, at least that is my reasoning.
Alright, yet another wonderful chapter. I feel so sorry for Terrwyn for just about everything she already went through and now this. But I cannot wait to see how it continues with Terrwyn and Feredir when they (hopefully) find the same path =)
Author's Response: Well, Terr kind of brought it on herself this time. She's very lucky to have someone like Glandur and the elves who are more permissive towards their prisoners. Even Fer went easy on her, though he's not happy about it, but they'll come around.
Wow! Not alot of action in this chapter, but it's still very deep. It's good stuff like this, examination of a character's thoughts and actions that make stories more rounded, characters grow. It's also what makes chapters blow up into ten thousand word diatribes!lol
You did a good job of telling us through showing about Feredir's elvish side and the battle that he wages within himself.
Great, great descriptions, not just of actions and places and people, but of motivations. Your writing is positively popping off the page. They are alive and real.
So much tension and struggle, both internal and external for both Terr and Feredir.
Author's Response: Yea, this is one of those filler chpts, but a good time to give the characters time to talk things out in their own heads. Fer is in denial and Ter just wants to get on with things, but they'll have some time to discover what's happening while she serves her punishment, and Fer too.
Your prose in this chapter is wonderful! The scene is well set and described in a way that is thorough but overdone, you don't go on and on about the flowers and stuff. Just enough to set the stage and give me the feeling for the place. I can see the passion you have for the story and its characters when you take to time to set the scene where they will be acting. I really haven't seen too much of that passion in your other works.
You've really got something here with these two. They're really jumping off the page! It's simple stuff like this:
Terrwyn traced his lips with her finger, so full, so soft
It's those last four words that make me feel him, see him, make him real and pop off the page. You could've left them out, but it you did, the action and the romance wouldn't be as good.
There's so much tension here and you choose the right words to build the tension too.
At the begining we see alot of Feredir's elven side, talking to the squirrels, communning with nature (like some sort of middle earth hippy lol)
But at the end I like seeing his Gondorian side and that you brought our attention to that fact.
Those paragraphs were they're making out...far and away the best psuedo love scene you've written. I feel the passion, the tension, the romance, the deeper connection between two souls. Anybody can write a sex scene. But it's so difficult to show the passion or desire between two people.
Loved that second to last paragraph where she tells him off.
I love Feredir's human side...but then again, I love men... not just, like, men but like, Men. They're not like elves, they're weak, vulnerable, brutal, passionate (like capable of, revealing, or characterized by intense emotion or easily roused to anger; quick-tempered... that kind of passionate).
He's so mysterious! I have a feeling he doesn't feel so hot about his human side. You've already told us he grew up in Mirkwood, so he thinks of himself as an elf and not as a Man. Is that what irks him at the end... that she points that out to him?
Seriously, I was wishing you would post yesterday while I was lying there in the ER! I was desperate for something to take my mind off everything else! I kept checking and checking on my phone!
I was pretty excited to read it today, though!
Author's Response: First of all let me say, I hope you are doing better and so sorry to hear you were in the ER. Secondly, I wish I had known. I would have posted right away or sent you the chpt. I am flattered that you think my prose is good. One thing I have learned is that the background and setting is just as important as the characters and is a character itself at times. Itís hard to remember that in fanfic because of the books and movies. If someone says Helmís Deep, everyone knows what it looks like. But to me Ithilien is open for options. Not much is known about it in the 4th age and it is almost like a blank canvas. These descriptions may not be correct, but itís how I see it. I think I have more passion for this story because it is my own more than any other. Iím not following the books or any specific timeline during the war years and that make me more attentive to details. As for Feredir, he is in a constant struggle with himself. For so long he has had things under control. Heís an elf, plain and simple. The half elf thing is just a term. At least thatís how he sees it. Then along comes Terrwyn who easily brings out his other side and then she tells him heís more human than anything. I think it was a big blow to his ego. What he doesnít realize yet is that he is very unbalanced, turning to one heritage or the other depending on his situation. Ter is the one who can balance him out and stop the conflict. Of course he is too blind to see it that way right now. Iím so glad you like these characters. They are very special to me too and I want them to move people with their thoughts or words or even looks. Again, my passion for them is much stronger because they are mine and I want to portray them in the best possible way. Feredir is absolutely my fav by far. There will be others and I hope they make as big an impact as Fer/Ter do right now. And I see you updated. Yea! Canít wait to get started on it. You know, I spent the better part of an hour writing this response this morning and forgot to copy it before I sent it because the freakiní sight logs you off if there is no activity after a time. I hit submit and nothing happened. Whole darn thing was lost. Pissed me off. Anyways, I am just so excited anything I see your reviews. Your encouragement makes me want to keep doing better. The things you point out tell me that Iím heading in the right direction and I try to focus on them for future chpts. I always say, if Duchess likes it, I must be doing something right.
I love the first paragraph and your awesome description of the over grown garden. And oh wow, love that he actually detects her presence by scenting her.
It’s the little scenes you add that make your writing so enjoyable also. I love that fer stopped to talk with the squirrels. And I bet all elves of Ithilien feel like he does. They probably didn’t have a lot of time to just be elves. A post war environment is stressful. Through out this story in other chapters you show how the elves are here to assist humans. It is a shame really. I wish they would stay and enjoy an era of peace.
The line in which he says he cannot release her and holds her to keep her from running, brilliant!
Very sexy kiss and foreplay, I especially like the line that says he was not forceful but would not let go easily. Few women could resist and want to push him away. An excellent bit of writing in these paragraphs!
You are a master at the art of creating tension that builds to gratification. This chapter shows that so well. OH no! They still don’t understand each other. Fer wants to be reassigned. Will they ever admit their feelings?
Author's Response: Thanks for your kind words and support. I love writing tension and build up. I love reading it. Makes my heart pound when I read it and sometimes when I write it too. Feredir is just so intense and Terrwyn knows how to hold her own with him. She's pretty brave to just walk away from an elf pointing an arrow at her. I'm so glad to have your input. You always point out those things that I don't think twice about. It helps me to know what is important to a story and I try to include it in future chapters.
You know, I get your point. It does not have to be all out sex every time to be sexy. The scene in which Ter washes behind the screen is very sexy. I am sure her elvish love interest will find it hard to concentrate for the rest of the day.
“ Feredir cringed. “I only did it so that I would not have to suffer another long day watching you stumble around in the woods.” There, that should keep her from thinking he did it out of the kindness of his heart. He had a reputation to uphold.”
This made me laugh. You lend a great scene of humor to your characters.
I also like Ter’s eagerness to learn and generous spirit. She wants to give back! she has been dealt some very difficult things in life , yet she sees the good people have tried to do for her. You really make me like her. She is no whimp, yet she is not a warrioress who is going to show Fer how to fight. She is balanced and likable.
I can just see Fer jumping back at the sight of the jar of crow’s eyes. And I bet he was equally shocked at the aged human woman. She would not be someone the Mirkwood elf would be accustomed to seeing. He would have been spooked by her appearance alone not to mention her bizarre behavior and her ability to read him emotionally.
Wow! That was very exciting, Ter running away like that! I can’t blame her Feredir has treated her like shamefully. He can’t understand why he treats her harshly, but it seems reasonable to assume he really likes her and is in denial. I think elven boys must have just as difficult a time of it growing up as humans. In a charming way it seems Feredir is pulling her ponytail and looking around innocently because he wants her attention.
Author's Response: Well, you know Fer is being kind of an ass, but he has a gentle side too. Humor let's the reader know that he's not as crude as he seems to be at the moment. As for Ter, she's had a lot of misfortune, but she remembers the one's who have helped her along the way. She holds onto that and I think that is why she's generous. And Fer had never been in an apothocary shop before. What he saw were not the usual elf remedies he knows of. Add an old mysterious woman to the mix and I think he was a little disturbed by it all. Fer is definitely pulling her ponytail. Yanking it. More like tying it to a horse and then sending it running, lol.
Hi, I just happened to find your story and have to say I like it very much.
I like your OCs and the relation they have.
I can't wait to read how this develops between Feredir and Terrwyn.
Author's Response: Hello Lady Leia and so nice to meet you. Thank you for reading my story. There's lots more to come so I hope you will continue to read and I hope to keep you entertained. This is the first time I have used oc's as main characters and I have to say they are one of my favorite couples. I'm glad you like them too.
Got a little philoshpical here at times. I thought the old lady in the apothecary shop was great. I liked the way you wrote that part where he thinks he's under the old lady's spell. Writing that kind of magical stuff, stuff you've never experienced is kind of hard to do.
Feredir can be charming when he wants. That's sexy! The mystery surrounding him is building tension!
This is my fav fan fic ever!
You should really think about adapting this in to a historical romance or historical romantic fantasy. The storyline, plot, and characters are exciting and compelling. This is a book that I would buy!
Author's Response: I wasn't quite sure the magic spell came across so I'm glad you mentioned it. One of these days I'm gonna try my hand at writing a fantasy romance. I have thought about it a lot and I would love to try something, but I feel I'd need to brush up on historical facts. Medieval is my favorite and would probably be the genre I'd use. Something to keep tucked away for later. It is so nice to have your support, Duchess. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I would be frustrated too. That beautiful half elvish male is just too rough on her.
As she worked, she thought about his background. He must have quite a story to tell. Half-elves were rare, even in the Forth Age when there were more elf/human couplings. Most did not have children because of the elves that were sailing into the West. Unfortunately for her, Feredir’s parents did not abide by that fact and now she was stuck with their horrid offspring as her guard.
This made me laugh. I love how you incorporate humor into a serious drama. I have never seen any one do this better than you
There are so many things to love about this, I love the moment they share after they both fell. Are your sure Fer did not plan this? The way you have described him I would never push him away ruined berries or not.
You always add such rich detail to your work. Every single chapter is like watching a movie.
Thank you for this wonderful and awesome story.
Author's Response: Yea, I don't think I would have pushed him away either. As a matter of fact, I would have grabbed onto him and not let go. The word 'awkward' comes to mind, lol. Thanks so much for the kind review, my friend.
Wow! What a fantastically well written chapter! The descriptions of the places, the people and the actions really brought it all to life!
What great humor and banter! They're both so strong willed, the I can cut the tension and conflict with a knife.
I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into character development. These two really pop off the page. They are well fleshed out.
Terrwyn reminds me a bit of Brianna Randall, Jamie Fraser's daughter.
Excited to read more!!
Author's Response: Ahhhhhhh! Don't tell me! I'm about 70 percent done with Outlander, according to my Kindle. I haven't read anything about a daughter yet. It's ok though. As much as those two go at it . . . Fer and Ter really speak to me, especially when they are together. He's being an ass and, prisoner or not, she won't listen to it. But he also has a soft spot for her, even if she drives him nuts.
I like how you tied in Master Curuven's story of how he met his wife into their day, but with a slight alteration. I like it a lot
Author's Response: Thanks Farawein. I wanted to give the reader a little insight into Curuven's personality and thought the best way to do that was to let him tell a story. It was also a good way for Terrwyn to get to know him too.
So Feredir is ambitious, huh? Not really a suprise, but that sentence seem a little forboding. Boromir was ambitious too and look what happened to him! I wonder what he desires? Money, power, prestige, respect? I like the idea of him in black, too; dark like his personality. What a taciturn ass he is, but Terr doesn't let him get under her skin.
I loved the picture you painted of Terr boiling laundry over the caldron! Seems like a good choice for her to work with the healer. I thought for sure the Healer would be some old dour man who suffered from rheumatism or something. Nice choice to make him charming and rather dashing. I loved the story about how he met his wife. It really brings him to life, shows me what kind of man he really is.
Really liking Feredir. I'm learning something new about him all the time. I like his rough edge; that brash abrasive part, like coarse sandpaper. He would definately be the kind of man she needs. Her personality is too strong. She would push a less arrogant guy around (hey, even Ros had an arrogant streak in him). Really, I wouldn't be suprised if he had a bit of cruelty or viciousness in him too. It's kinda hard to reign in a strong male character- a reckless, ambitious, taciturn, ornery man would find mercy and understanding and compassion arduous to practice. It's not easy to keep them from killing their enemies in cold blood. I suppose that's why the need a woman, to balance those urges! Although, I bet he's a fantastic lover!
Author's Response: Oh goodness, well, Boromir was influenced by an evil weapon too. Feredir is only a danger to himself, and maybe an orc here and there, lol. As the story moves along, you will see why he is the way he is. Glad you were surprised by the healer character. I think he adds an air of elvishness to the whole thing. Afterall,she wanted to meet the elves, she got elves. Yes, Terrwyn can stick up for herself and she may be a bit stubborn too. She can be kind and loving, but also knows how to get under someones skin, dig in and not let go, as Feredir will find out along the way. They will get on each other's nerves and cause some friction, but friction produces heat also (he he heee).
I love the three hairs falling in slow motion. If you are an elf that is good enough reason to kill a mortal. Hot hot sex het girl. I don't read much het on a regular basis. If het writers wrote like you I would
Author's Response: Thanks so much. It's so funny cuz as I was writing that fight scene, I suddenly saw that part in slow motion and just thought how mad that would make him. I think it was a closer call than he normally experiences and his arrogance helped fuel the fire.
I like this Feredir. He's raw and sexual, like a panther, sleek and sexy and dark, stealthy. Mysterious and dangerous. Not like some of your other heros. That part of him that his human, that makes him a man is evident. Like all men, he has weaknesses and is vulnerable. Kind of a cad, kind of an ass, king of arrogant. maybe immature to a point... He reminds me of my brother. perhaps a little selfish. It is only him, after all. He has no one else to care for. Guys are like that sometimes, especially guys who are into themselves. Maybe a guy who lives by his own code.
I can already see his character will go through a lot of changing if he and Terr are to be together. I think she's far mor emotionally mature than he is.
The part where the floor boards are squeaking and the dust falls in the dwarf's beer is an absolute riot!! Good stuff there!
In only two chapters you've told us alot about Feredir. That's what showing rather than telling can do for a character.
He's very sexy and not knowing his whole story, what his motivations are, is making me want to read on, to find out about him. He's very compelling and I like how you keep emphasising this half elf half human ancestry.
Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thanks Duchess. I have to admit, I liked writing that part about the silence in the bar. I mean, this is Feredir after all. There'd be all kinds of noises coming from upstairs. Probably not the first time that happened either. He's a regular and Feona is one of his highlights. Feredir comes across so clearly to me. Maybe it's because I've known guys like him, not romantically, but as an insider in a man's world. I watched and learned so that I could fit in. Being a quiet person, a lot of the time they seemed to forget I was there. Men are very interesting and I really like writing for them, and Fer is by far my fave. In order for him to behave like this, I had to make him half-elvish. I think there has always been an internal conflict there and depending on the situation, he could be more one or the other. It's who he is. It's how he's survived. It's pushed him along and it very well may be a factor one day.
Oh please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please (Deep breath) Please please please please please please please PLEASE continue and update soon, I want to know what happens!
Author's Response: Wow! That's a lot of pleases, lol. Have no fear. There will be more to come. I update regularly and I've never abandoned a story so stay tuned.