No doubt about it, this is the best thing you've written!! The way you describe the city is so vivid. You didn't over do it either, just enough for the reader to get the feel for the place, what it looks like over all. The detail in the fountain with fingers and the faces... It seems like you know this place very well and like it. Therefore you have the ablitiy to make is seem real, draw me into it.
That first paragraph is so telling about Feredir, especially starting it off with a nonsequitur. You make him seem dark and mysterious right off the bat. Telling me he's half elf makes me what to know the rest of his story! He seems reckless and cocky, probably a little arrogant or full of himself. Maybe a chip on his shoulder because he's lived his whole life with that stigma of being half elf, being "different". Well, he is "young". I think you like this guy alot. I think he's badass and will imagine him looking like Jason Momoa. lol
Glandur, I like him alot more here than in Taming of the Wild. I like the way he talks, acts, commands. He's a real leader. Tough, yet compassionate.
You've got good solid stuff here! Good good stuff! So much that it's hard to list them all.
Such as smooth easy read, not choppy or hesitant. Excellent, believable dialouge that shows rather than tells what the characters are like. That's not always an easy thing to do.
This was a long chapter for you but it read like a chapter with half as many words.
I bet you were excited to write this chapter. I'm excited to read the rest of the chapters! Please post again soon!
Author's Response: Jason Momoa, hmmm. Love the bod on him and minus the facial hair, he is definitely in the running for the roll of Feredir. For the fountain, I remembered a scene in LOTR where there is a headboard with an elvish lady standing with her arms held out. It's in Rivendell and I always thought the architecture portrayed was so beautiful. That was my inspiration. As for Feredir, yes I like him a lot. He's got a rough and toughness about him that I find very appealing. He did not get this way because he was born into it, like royalty who have to behave that way because it is expected of them. (sorry Legolas). Feredir has earned the right to be a bad ass. He is constantly having to prove himself. His story will come out later in the story. I'm very happy you like Glandur. You know his story, kind of, from Taming. This is who he is outside of the house. He's in charge and must behave accordingly, yet he knows when the rules can be broken. He also knows Feredir's story and looks out from him as best he can while still remaining in command. I was really excited to finally write this chapter, being Feredir has been on my mind since I first came up with the idea. Now I'm glad to be to the point where I can share him with you and the other readers. Thanks again for pointing out the things I'm doing right. It helps me out a lot. (as a friend of mine always says 'I told you so').
Another interesting development, one I wouldn't have expected at all. I'm sure there'll be more to come as well. Looks like she's alreay antagonized someone in Ithilien, but maybe he just doesn't care for humans. I guess we'll find out. See, this is what I mean when I say I still have much to learn about writing, where you already know this stuff. I would have said to myself, "KISS," and kept her in Gondor to await trial. But she needs to meet her Elf, or at least more Elves, and you've devised a plausible reason for sending her to Ithilien to do so, and where she can have more adventures, both good and bad, and which will help her grow more, I'm sure. I will look forward to seeing how she manages to find out about her brother, if she does, from there, though I suspect she will have to do that some other place and way. I hope she succeeds in both proving her innocence and learning what happened to her brother.
Author's Response: Thanks Mel. I wish I could tell you what all will happen, but I don't even know all of it yet. I know where I want her to end up, but so much has to happen before then. And sometimes I get stumped and I don't know how to get certain characters to get to their proper places. Then sometimes the answers seem logical. Terrwyn has a lot to go through, many adventures, and getting there is like a puzzle, at least that's how it feels to me. Plots are puzzles, like the maze where you have a starting point and and ending point. There are lots of turns and dead ends but only one way to get to the finish line. I kind of do that with my ideas and there are times when I hit that dead end and have to go back to the last place where I had a choice of which way to turn. The difference is, my maze is Middle-earth, lol. I really am glad to have you come along on this latest journey and it's always nice to hear from you. Thanks again.
Oh dear...as much as i worry about terrwyn, im intrigued at what Rosloch signed. Eagerly waiting for more!
Author's Response: Well, I'll just say they are both lucky there's an elf in charge. More on the way soon.
Well, I guess I was right about Rhav! lol! I didnt' expect her to be Captain of the Gaurd though. That's cool! And again you and I are on the same wave length because I was thinking about doing a E/L where she is Captain of the Gaurd or some sort of High military commander. There's another whole set of stories there for Rhav!
I like how Rhav finds out about Terr through reports. Maybe it's just because of the potential of spies lingering out there somewhere, but it gives Rhav a reason to detain Terr without bogging the story down in the minutia of who reported or how the info got there.
Of course I like the part you worked in there about threats against Aragorn and those who didn't agree with him being king and all!
The whole ending here sounds a little ominous again. I tell you what, one thing you're excellent at is building tension. Tension I can feel, that makes my heart race and want to read on. I bet you'd make a good mystery writer.
Your characters always seem well developed, like you don't play god with them and march them around the stage to your own drumbeat. The always seem consistant. I'm begining to wonder if you ever have writer's block, because you do have such consistancy in your voice and character development.
Author's Response: I think we both write our women in a similar fashion. We don't want them weak and pouting, that's for sure. I can definitely see Loth in that kind of position and I'm sure some of the men wouldn't mind being under her command also, *wink*. You know, that's exactly what I thought when writing Rhav into this story. It just opened up a whole new avenue of adventures for her. The whole 'threats against Aragorn and his family' thing could prove to be some kind of mystery solving story with Rhav as the lead. Something to think about. I'm glad the tension comes across. I really do enjoy writing it because it always flows out so easily for me, as opposed to other situations. And yes, I do get writers block. I just did recently, wondering if I was making one of my characters' change of heart move along too quickly. They all have their own personalities and I want to make sure they are not behaving too far off the mark. But for the main part, they speak to me as I write for them and tell me what they would or would not do. And sometimes as I try to get them to behave a certain way, they will not cooperate and I cannot force it. That's when I know I need to stop and rethink things. It's a very strange relationship between an author and their characters, but a lot of fun too.
I love a good cliff hanger, but enough already! Just give the the rest of the darn story!LOL!I so look forward to reading this, it really does make my day when I see you've updated.
Well, sounds like things are sort of serious here. For sure on Rosloch's side, maybe not as much on Terr's side?
At first I thought maybe Rhav had summoned her. By why in the middle of the night? and then to come for Rosloch too? I liked the image of him in nothing but an old blanket!
Once again you do a good job of moving the story forward. Every chapter is interesting or exciting, probably why I look forward to reading so much. I know something is going to happen, we will learn more or discover something new.
Would you consider this story a quasi sort of romantic mystery? It sort of has that romantic suspense/thriller feel to it. Just a tad bit edgier than a "normal" romance.
Author's Response: I guess you could consider this a romantic mystery. It didn't start out that way, but I think it is developing into that. I so want to answer your questions, but you'll know in the next chapter. Things are taking a turn. Terrwyn's life is no longer her own. She's been discovered, but what will become of her?
This is what I wish I could do with mine, make it tender and sweet and sexy too. Well done!
Author's Response: What are you talking about? All of your other stories are always tender sweet and sexy. I'm sure this one will be too. Thanks again. Glad you liked it.
Love knows no bound i guess :) Rosloch seems like a noble man. I cannot wait to see where you go with this :)
Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you like Rosloch. He is that older sexy rugged well muscled guy that drives women wild. OK maybe it's just me, but trust me, Terrwyn is a lucky girl.
Interesting development. Your stories always remind me of the Jennifer Wilde novels I used to read, I never know what's going to happen next. Guess I'd better adjust my lapbelt for the roller-coaster ride. ;-)
Author's Response: That's probably the best thing anyone reading this story should do. Lots of twists and turns in this one.
Nice Chapter.I don't usually review here because most stories are slash with a hideously girly Legolas.I have a small story idea for you seeing as you like to get creative.Here we go:
Legolas/Arwen or Legolas/Eowyn.With Legolas as a first age Sindar from Doriath. Or Legolas of Gondolin.We know little about him so this can be a premise.Married for political reasons just before the ring war.Thranduil leaves and Legolas becomes king with a strained marriage on the side.Make one about how they deal with it and start to like each other.Through the course of the war.Also try making a grittier,darker Legolas.Maybe like Nuada from Hellboy minus the human hating thing.Arwen would be preferable as it will not mess up the time line much.You can also make Rhavaniel instead of these two.I think it will be a challenge as few people write about an older Legolas and almost no one has got the character yet.I think I am asking too much but do try.
Author's Response: Well hello and nice to meet you. I have to admit, I've never gotten such a well thought out requet before. You sound as if you are looking for something very specific. Let me ask you this. Have you ever tried writing your own story? That is how I got started. I read every Legomance until I ran out, but no one wrote the kind of story I was looking for. So I decided to give it a try and now I'm hooked. I did give your idea some thought and I agree it would be a challenge. I like your concept and a story like this would be completely out of my comfort zone, which is a good place to be sometimes. However, I am knee deep in my current project and there are many side stories invading my brain. It would be a long time before I could even consider trying your challenge and even then I'm not sure I could make Legolas behave the way you'd want. I think you sound like someone with a passion for a good angsty story and if you can come up with a storyline like this, I think you should try to write it. Honestly, I might could write something like this, but I'm not sure I could use Legolas for this setting. We all have our favorites and we see them in a certain light. My vision of him is much different and I'm not sure I could make him as gritty and dark as you are wanting. I really appreciate your input though and I thank you for considering me to carry out your request. I would just hate to say yes to you and then not deliver. But you definitely got me thinking and that is always good for inspiration.
This was an interesting little chapter. You kinda threw me for a loop with the whole possible Rosloch attraction thing. I certainly didn't see that coming.
Can I ask a question? When you start writing these stories, do you know where they are going? or do you just start with the idea and write, just letting the story take you where it will? We were talking about that is my writing class the other night.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: You know, it just wouldn't be the same without seeing a review from you Duchess. It is always a welcome sight. When I originally wrote this part, it was not Ros. It was a new character, but I just wasn't feeling it. It was actually a friend that mentioned Ros and suddenly it just clicked. To answer your question, I usually have a very basic idea in my head, but it's not until I start writing that the story comes to life. All of these characters (besides Terrwyn and Feredir) just kind of created themselves as I was writing. And as I get to know them, they tell me their stories. As for the story itself, I have only a few main ideas. The details come out as I write. Hell, I don't even know how this is going to end yet, but I know as it moves along, it will just happen. I've discovered that you can think all you want about it, but it's not until you really start writing that the plot happens. I can't think too far ahead for fear of writing myself into some corner that I won't be able to get out of. At least this is how it is for me. I hated english in my school days, never took a single writing class, but I know what I like to read. I know what makes my heart pound and I try to incorporate that into my own work. And like you always say, I don't take myself seriously and just have fun with it.
Oh dear! Not a good development for Terrwyn, but you and Ziggy and Ireth manage to pull cliffhangers off so well.
Author's Response: Thanks. I know what you mean. Ziggy's always leave me on the edge of my chair yelling at the computer screen, "More! More!"
Another close incident, but I'm curious who the mysterious shadow man is. Sad that she lost her butterfly.
Author's Response: She worshiped that little trinket. Meeting that elf at Helm's Deep was one of her happiest memories and that was all she had to remind her of it.
Something tells me she won't find what she's really looking for in Gondor, definitely not brother, and as for the one who brings her peace, we shall see, I suppose. I haven't commented on your descriptions, but they're very helpful from a reader's perspective to know how these people look. And from the narrative I can understand a lot about Terrwyn.
Author's Response: Thanks, glad they are clear. I'm really working hard to be more explanitory with people and places.
Oh you and your cliffhangers! I loved the interaction between Terrwyn and Legolas.
Author's Response: Thanks. Legolas is always so wonderful to write for, but in this, I can let him be himself without Rhav interfering.
I love cliff hangers! But I want the next chapter right now!
It seems you worked your last story into this story and I think that's great!
I'm really hoping this chapter will lead into a separate Taldred Lindiel romance!
Half the fun of writing fanfiction is coming up with your own characters and populating the world with them to interact with canon characters. Personally, I think the other half of the fun is coming up with cool dresses for the heroine to wear... or possibly the sex. I look forward to this story soo much!
Author's Response: HAHAHAA!! You remind me of Veruca Salt from Willi Wonka, "I want it now!" I promise not to make you wait long. And yes, I have worked a lot of characters from Taming into this one. When I first started writing it, the timeline just seemed to match up really well, and I love some of those guys from Taming. I just couldn't let them go yet. Just so you know, I do have ideas for Taldred and Lindiel. I really want to write their story as well as some others that you have yet to meet. My best friend and I always say that there were more than the 30 characters or so that Tolkien invented that made up Middle-earth. They all have stories and adventures of their own and it is fun to come up with them. Writing the sex it great too, though I have to admit, I hate having to come up with clothes descriptions. I know it's important at times, but it is my pet peeve. Care to be my costume designer? LOL