Ooph. Poor, poor Elladen. He and Authiel were made for each other :( But methinks there is more no? I see a new story 'Eath's Angel: Queen of Thieves Part 2- The Return of the Queen' yes? No? Maybe? Please?
Author's Response: Thank youu... For your delight there will be two more!!! Earths angel:queen of thieves being the third, this is when the whole truth is reveiled, the next... Wait and see mellonin :D
AUTHIEL!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! this made me think of Gandalf has fallen, it was such a good death scene
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it...it always gives me a sense of evil killing off my charicters...thank you for reading
Hello there! I absolutely love this story! It's officially added to my favorites. Wonderful song choice by the way, I love Annie Lennox. :3 Such a different concept with Elladan, Elrohir, and Glorfindel. Utterly divine. Keep it up ad I look forward to reading more.
Thank you so much, im glad you likeed it. The portrayalof ready made charicters is some times hars,especally whrn they arre not in the films and only in the books, i was very nervous about my portrayalof these characters so it is a releif thatthey went down well. Thank you for reeading, i hope you enjoy the rest!!!
Awwwww shucks! I've been following this story for awhile and it's good. Really good. I like Authiel, she's badass , but I can't help but melt at the cute little lovey scenes. Keep writing and
HAPPY TOLKIEN WEEK!!
Author's Response: Thank you, it always means a lot to me when i get reviews of any sort :), I hope you enjoy the rest as much is i enjoy witing it, happy Tolien week to you too, :)
Was it only the pressure of Autheil's prophesied fate or was there more to the story of her departure from Rivendell... I wonder. Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you, i supppose only time will tell....
Hey! So I read both of these chapters since I saw in the Most Recent box the word assassin! lol. I think the first chapter, although short, as a wonderful hook. Sort of got be interested to read on. You've got tension there. What's going to happen!! You did it in very few words, which is hard to do, but my mind asks all kinds of questions, which is what a good hook is supposed to do. REally, we didn't need any more description than what you've already given us.
YOu seem to do a good job choosing the right descriptive words. Description is a tricky business. Some writers, like Diana Gabaldon or GRR Martin, do a lot of description with great detail. They paint a picture with words. They are the Michangelos of writing. Others, like Hemmingway leave alot to the imagination. More like Piccaso. You see what you want to see. There's no right or wrong--no pun intended--and I acutally envy those who can convey so much in so few words. I bet you are a very good poet!
You're peeking out curiosity in this chapter. Spoon feeding us bit by bit, making us ask questions and building tension. You seem to have a natural sense for tension. Tension can be a hard thing for beginning writers to grasp, trust me! lol
Now, all that being said, I would suggest paying more attention to your paragraph structure. Running all that dialouge into one paragraph is diffucult to read. I had a hard time following who was saying what. Also, watch your use of possession. The whole 's thing. Nouns like orc possess things. The orc's blanket. Or the plural possessive would be something like-- The orcs' food Don't confuse it with plural or multiples. There were many orcs at the party. Verbs like blame, like, settle are actions. They don't possess objects.
I'm no grammar nazi, believe me, just things that i noticed.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you, try will try to improve as i carry on writing :)