Author's Response: Thank youu... For your delight there will be two more!!! Earths angel:queen of thieves being the third, this is when the whole truth is reveiled, the next... Wait and see mellonin :D
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it...it always gives me a sense of evil killing off my charicters...thank you for reading
Thank you so much, im glad you likeed it. The portrayalof ready made charicters is some times hars,especally whrn they arre not in the films and only in the books, i was very nervous about my portrayalof these characters so it is a releif thatthey went down well. Thank you for reeading, i hope you enjoy the rest!!!
HAPPY TOLKIEN WEEK!!
Author's Response: Thank you, it always means a lot to me when i get reviews of any sort :), I hope you enjoy the rest as much is i enjoy witing it, happy Tolien week to you too, :)
Author's Response: Thank you, i supppose only time will tell....
Author's Response: Thank you, Authiel means battle maiden :)
YOu seem to do a good job choosing the right descriptive words. Description is a tricky business. Some writers, like Diana Gabaldon or GRR Martin, do a lot of description with great detail. They paint a picture with words. They are the Michangelos of writing. Others, like Hemmingway leave alot to the imagination. More like Piccaso. You see what you want to see. There's no right or wrong--no pun intended--and I acutally envy those who can convey so much in so few words. I bet you are a very good poet!
You're peeking out curiosity in this chapter. Spoon feeding us bit by bit, making us ask questions and building tension. You seem to have a natural sense for tension. Tension can be a hard thing for beginning writers to grasp, trust me! lol
Now, all that being said, I would suggest paying more attention to your paragraph structure. Running all that dialouge into one paragraph is diffucult to read. I had a hard time following who was saying what. Also, watch your use of possession. The whole 's thing. Nouns like orc possess things. The orc's blanket. Or the plural possessive would be something like-- The orcs' food Don't confuse it with plural or multiples. There were many orcs at the party. Verbs like blame, like, settle are actions. They don't possess objects.
I'm no grammar nazi, believe me, just things that i noticed.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you, try will try to improve as i carry on writing :)