OMG, this is flippin' hilarious! "Bows n' arries!" LMAO!!! I choked on the cookie I was eating when I read "You might be a redneck elf if you can burp the Lament to Gandalf." Oh dear...this is simply too much! I am utterly smitten!
You had me cracking up the entire time! You should write another story like this one, it was hilarious. And the theme song had me crying with laughter. That the father of the baby was grandpappy Celeborn! HA! And the beginning things too. Beyond hilarious!