Really good so far... whats up with the Strider being a girl thing? I keep thinking its Aragorn... I you changed the name, it would be pretty good. Keep it up!
Author's Response: The female character Strider is based off me...sorta... Strider is my RP name. So, like...yeah... And, well, I'm lazy and I don't feel like changing it now that it's done.. So, like...yeah... Thanx for reviewing it, though! God Bless! Lindariel Rimdur
I am somewhat confused right now. Why is the entire cast of the Lord of the Rings in the 21st century? There isn't much of an introduction and it seems a bit disjointed.
Keri doesn't like Gimli or Arwen? Why? There isn't an explanation. While you may bring up all of that in latter chapters, it's usually best to explain some of the obvious things in the first chapter.
There are orthographic errors like Camilla pointed out. Perhaps it might be best if you got yourself a beta reader. Also you might find this site (http://realelvish.tripod.com/sindarin_phrase_book) very useful. Actually, concerning Elvish, Tolkien himself said that it is not possible to be fluent in that tongue. You may know some phrases, etc. but Elvish is not something one in 21st century U.S. would be fluent in...ever!
Good luck with this.
Author's Response: Ok, they aren't in the twenty first century. And it does go on to explain that. They are in Middle Earth. I'm sorry that i failed to explain why Keri doesn't like Arwen and Gimli. I can tell you right now that she doesn't like Arwen because she doesn't think that she did much of anything for the Fellowship. Her reason for not liking Gimli is that she was picked on by other kids at school when they were saying that she loved Gimli. Again, they are not in the twenty first century they are in Middle Earth, so it would be possible for a girl who's best friend is an elf to be good at speaking elvish. Thank you for sending me a review, though. And thank you for asking questions. It not only helps me to repair my work, but it shows that you are a good reader. Thanks for the support. Lindariel Rimdur
Author's Response: Me again. I just have a question. Other than not really understanding a few things, did you like my story and understand most of it? Thanks. God Bless, Lindariel Rimdur
You have a few little mistakes that are probably just from not having looked over the story properly and mind your quotation rules (Å“Namarie,Â
should be "Namarie." when there is no he said or similar behind it.) Fixing these things would improve your story.
Good luck either way!
Author's Response: Ok, I'm not trying to be snotty or mean or anything, but dude, I'm twelve! I'm just now learning all of this quotation rules and junk, so, it's not going to be perfect. Thanks for pointing out that I should go back over it though. One question, did you understand it and did you like it? Thanks for the support. God Bless, Lindariel Rimdur