He was beginning to lose his patients.
Whoops, I think you mean "patience". Interesting that you're bringing up a dark side of Gollum prior to finding the Ring, perhaps suggesting that the Ring didn't as much bring evil into him, but rather drag out evil from the darker sides of Smeagol already there. Interesting approach if that's what you're going for, though not the easiest to do well.
Author's Response: Thats basically what I'm trying to suggest. I always found it interessting that the ring was able to quickly corrupt Smeagol, but wasn't able to corrupt Bilbo as easily or Frodo. Something must have been there to begin with.
Better riddle than I would written, that's for sure. Interesting that you had the grandmother having me Elves.
A few little things that could be fixed - grandmothers home should be grandmother's home, for instance - but it reads and the mistakes are not glaring. Still, if you're feeling a bit worried about your writing, have you considered getting a beta? They really do help a lot. You can ask at the forums here, for instance.
And all teh food descriptions made me hungry. Dratted.
Author's Response: Did I say that she met elves? I can't remember. She spent time with the Fallohides (a type of hobbit) who lived near the elves, but I don't think meant for her to have met elves directly. I'm going to have to look that over. I did have a beta, but she's always busy. Maybe I'll check out this forum. Thanks again for reviewing and for reading the story.
Interesting premise. You've obviiusly read the book and dug up what you could find there, which of course doesn't tell the whole story. There's a lot about Smeagol that one has to guess and it's a good idea for a story. I'll be interested to see where you take it - I liked the orc-skull finding and the innocence of it all, knowing where Smeagol will end up.
There's a punctuaction hiccups, but nothing major, so it didn't bug me. Good start.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. Please continue reading. I would love to know what you think of the rest of it. The chapters to come need a lot of work and are not as well written as they could be so I need all the advice that I can get.