Hi, Celebgalad and Tinlaure! I’d like to say that your writing is really good, I've read quite a bit of it recently. I just really need to tell you it’d be way better if your characters weren’t constantly having emotional inner battles about the leastest tiniest things- good friends let understandable mistakes go, and guys especially are not quite so sensitive to petty little things, you can seriously tell that your male characters are created by girls!
If you could stop repeating the same phrases over and over too - like characters glaring furiously at their captors, especially that one, since by the third or thirtieth use, it loses its affect as a character descriptor, and just makes them seem prissy and touchy. Inner commentaries which say stuff like how annoying it is to be tortured - really?! and its not annoying, it’s agonising and soul destroying, maybe you choose not to, but your writing would be more credible if it took those things into account.
But seriously, your plots and set-ups are so much better than most of the angsty writing I have read, I think it’d be absolutely amazing if you could cut some of the stuff I mentioned out of it. I enjoy your stories so much, but I can only bear them if I skip half a chapter at a time to cut out Legolas constantly feeling like a terrible friend and a bad person for leaving Aragorn’s side for 10 seconds and that kind of stuff. You write action, that stuff slows it down unbearably! Anyway, this was meant to be constructive, not an attack, I hope you don't think I'm being vindictive! Love, marawen xx
Wow. I really loved it. I actually read the sequel first (on another site) so I could sort of predict a lot of what was going to happen, but most of it still took me completely by surprise. It is very well written, and really powerful. I absolutely loved it. Well done!
Once again you two great story i really like it so far.I am your number 1# fan and again u make an awsome team.
Author's Response: Hehehehe...well thanks! LOL Number #1 fan huh? Wow, we are honored! Hey, we didn't know if you knew or not, but we have a yahoo group where you can post your own work and get feedback and things. Here is the address if you are interested: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/faith_hope_andlove/