This was so very descriptive and made me feel the tension, anger and desire acutely! (cold shower time!)
I like that each of these characters fight for domination of the situation, Paris wants to forget certain aspects of what happened (or almost did) to him and Achilles for trying to right the wrong done to him. They both are used to getting their way, and being in complete control of their destiny. (Paris is more of a let-the-chips-fall kind of guy) But being royalty Paris had been indulged, and I imagine he's in shock at this point to the extremes he's seeing in Achilles. Also how she stirs him!
I liked this chapter a lot!
Author's Response: OMG! Thanks so much. I love it when reviews like this are actually detailed. Although I like it too when people just tell me whether they do or don't like what I'm doing, it's great to actually know what it is that people are getting from what I do. Thanks a whole lot!
I don't know what advice I'd give you, cos you seem to be doing fine on your own. All of this is of course leading up to the Achilles/Paris encounter, so I hope you don't leave us hanging now! :-O You have lots of room to do your own thing at this point, cos it's the part of the story that you will create. I am looking for maybe a big conflict between Achilles and Agamemnon regarding the treatment of Paris, leading up to the part where she rescues him from the soldier's having sport with him, and takes him to her tent. Other than that, I think you are doing super on your story, I for one am enjoying it immensely. Pam
Happy to have you back AND 2 chapters to read! I really really really! like Achilles as a woman, it's just rich how your perspective changes when the character you watched on the screen is now a female. But you capture the essence of the film version very well, and I am anxiously awaiting the next couple of chapters, I am assuming the reunion of Achilles and Paris in her tent on the beach! (YAY!) More please!
I am loving the perspective of this story with Achilles as a woman...I just saw "Troy" again last nite on TV, so I was elated there were a couple more chapters to read today. I think you are very skillful in your storytelling, that you use the dialogue from the movie and tweak it for this tale. I, for one, can't think of a thing to tell you to improve. This is good as is! Thanks for a great read!