WRITE MORE, PLEASE! I am dying to find out what will happen!
Author's Response: Well thank you; I guess we'll all just have to wait and see. Orlando's being pretty quiet about where this is all going.
I really don't like stories written in the first person but you've executed this well.
Just one thing- we all know he's British so try not to turn him into a cliche. The word "bloody" is already severely overused. If you want to throw in the occasional Brit slang word, that's fine. But try going with something like "bollocks" instead. A bit less obvious, that one.
Re-read your lst sentence, I think you omitted some words.
Author's Response: I'll take a look at that first sentence but if I remember correctly, it's broken up like that on purpose. Kind of done as a stream of thought more than a coherent sentence. And about the bloody thing, you're right, I need something less obvious. Plus it'd be nice to have some more slang at my disposal. Do you happen to know where I could find some?
Its so very much true we all were a mask and some celebs or not get lost in our "lies" that we forget who we are and become a robot to the many other fakers in the world some have this sikcly disease more then other (hense i take it Orlando in your story ) and then others of us fight back sticking our ground as a true person and keeping our personality and not changeing for anyone and we need people like that its a shame not more are in the world (Liz in your story i think at least) i am very interested to see what becomes of our damsel and knight
Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement; I'm interested to see where exactly Liz and Orlando decide to take me with this; no doubt it's sure to be interesting.
This sounds like a very interesting character study--both for Liz and Orlando.
I am quite interested to see how this plays out!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for thge positive comments! This will be a bit of an experiement fir me but I really can't wait to see where Orlando and Liz take me. (And Orlando can take me ANYWHERE he wants.)