Reviews For halloween hobbits
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Reviewer: elven lily Signed [Report This]
Date: 23/04/07 - 05:24 pm Title: the truth of halloween

First of all, I think the idea is very interesting and funny, but it could be made a lot more enjoyable to read if you made a few simple changes.
It would really help if you capitalized names and beginning words in sentences. Also, adding a comma after parenthesis when followed by a ‘Bilbo said’ or something else would make it flow better. Furthermore, it would also help a great deal if you added correct punctuation at the end of sentences and quotes.
As far as spelling goes, siad is said, hidding is hiding, Bildo is Bilbo, hobits is hobbits, sudenly is suddenly, hade is had, shore is sure (unless you were intending for Merry to talk like a hillbilly), minits is minutes, vampiar is vampire, mistacks is mistakes, jusy is just, unfiar is unfair, stroming I believe is supposed to be stomping, piffing is puffing, Samin is supposed to be Sam in, russel is rustle, wander is wonder, quite is quiet, terrifide is terrified, road I think is supposed to be roared, typs is types, grabed is grabbed, disapered is disappeared, habbits is hobbits, stoped is stopped, ageed is agreed, wiating is waiting, sop is so, mistaks is mistakes, witch, in this context is which.
A few other things, when they are talking about who has the most lollipops, I think you meant we’re instead of were and there are a few other places where you forgot to add apostrophes in your contractions.
I really do not mean this in a rude way; I just think that a few easy things could be changed to make this more uncomplicated to read. I really do think that this is a very interesting story and I look forward to reading more!
P.S. Do you have spell check on your computer? It makes it a lot easier and also makes stories more grammatically accurate.


Author's Response: i had redone the story a while ago but i had forgot about it, and then i found the new one so i changed it. hope its better

Reviewer: Legolas Daughter Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/03/07 - 07:23 am Title: Chapter 4

What next month? I want to read more NOW!! *kitten face* And there is more added on to my story, The Fellowship of the Kids.
Great story!!
Daughter of the L

Reviewer: KimberlyJane Signed [Report This]
Date: 04/07/06 - 06:55 am Title: Chapter 4

Aw. Poor Pip. Poor Pumpkin Pip. I bet he was just the cutest little Scottish Pumpkin Hobbit there ever was.

Reviewer: Sarah Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 30/06/06 - 03:10 pm Title: Chapter 4

hey nice story u got. very interesting. please update soon. I rally want to no wot happens. sarah x

Reviewer: Sarah Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 30/06/06 - 03:10 pm Title: Chapter 4

hey nice story u got. very interesting. please update soon. I rally want to no wot happens. sarah x

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