Awww, you made the Hobbits so sweet, and hilariuos, and cute! I loved this story, and it was truly a highlight of my evening. I think it would have been nice if you had made one of the little bumblers trip over Tomato, though...
Author's Response: Hee hee, thanks, I might just add that on...
This is such a cute one-shot! And I don't say cute as in primitive - you've done a really good job, it's written very well.
Author's Response: *grins* Thanks, it was really, ahem, "fun" to write this story! (You should've seen me. I went out for a boat ride, and then got soaking wet... You can guess how. That partly fueled my inspiration.)
Le hannon! --Alatariel Narmolanya
That was a really sweet story. Merry and Pippin are really cute, and I especially liked how Sam said that he would not approach water, but for a number of exceptions! :D I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Two small notes (more of nit-picks really): "Darn" sounds a bit modern for something to be said by Frodo. (Then again, Frodo is 13 in this, so I can't actually picture him saying "confound it all!" either. ;) ) And the name Tomato seems a bit off, since the events take place in a prehistoric European land. Yet, the dog is such a nice addition as a character that the name, in the end, makes no difference whatsoever. :)
Thank you for the story! :)
Author's Response: :D Thanks!
Yep, "Darn" does sound a bit too modern. But then I couldn't think of what else to put. "Confound it all" is more of Bilbo-style, "Dark take it" is just odd, and "By the Valar" is more Elvish. So he said "Darn." I'm sure someone else will come up with a better exclamation. :)
Tomato is actually one of my friends' dog, and she asked me to weave him in my story for her. Tomato does sound odd; Thomas or whatso might have filled in better.But then - :) It's just fun to call the dog Tomato. You're welcome! :D
Cool! Although, I'd like to point out just a couple of things. The first is the ages of the hobbits. According to this story, Frodo is thirteen, yet he is actually 22 years old than Pippin, 14 years old than Merry and 12 years older than Sam. In other words, the only person who would considered alive at the time is Sam and he'd only be a year old. Ages are really hard and I'll pass just a wee bit of advice I recieved from a friend: if you can, try to avoid ages. It is alright if you do, don't get me wrong, but it's also good to avoid too.
The second thing is probably not as important, but I'd just like to mention it. Sam does not really like water. I forget the exact page I read it on, but I don't think you'll catch Samwise Gamgee getting in ANY boat. Of course, after this incident, I could see why.
Other than that, I loved it! :D I really really really did. Especially the last remark:
'Frodo grinned. "Well, we still have our picnic."'
Hee, sounds something a typical hobbit would say.
Good work! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes... *nods in agreement* The only ages I'm really familiar with are with the Men (Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, etc.) and definitely NOT with the hobbits. :) I'll probably erase the ages sometime later. I did mention that Sam did not like water, but from the story it doesn't seem like he really is scared of it. I was thinking that maybe the incident and other few crashes, almost-drowns, and etc., etc. would lead to Sam's fear of the water and boats that are described in Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I love the last remark too. I thought about Pippin saying it, but it seems that Frodo should end the story. Thanks!