Who's Online:
Members:
Aww. Great poem. Hope you'll write more soon!
Wow, great poem! Just one thing...you missed the
'P' at the start. You've just got 'ounding'. Aside from that I loved it!
I love it. It sounds so...elvish!
I don't understand the part where he says that he could give his word that she hadn't run..When did she run? and the word "vandalizing" that Raleon uses in the same sentence as "honey" i think you meant womanizing..I don't think it's useless..it just needs some clean-up
Author's Response: yeah, in the other chapters i had fixed so much of this stufff, but then the site crashed and it all went down the drain....i'll go over when i get home from school tomarrow.
Author's Response: yeah, in the other chapters i had fixed so much of this stufff, but then the site crashed and it all went down the drain....i'll go over when i get home from school tomarrow.
"my sweet" maybe ..something like that...honey just sounds off to me..I'll re read it again..when I get the chance.
Author's Response: my sweet...that does sound better....
yeah, I love it..it's off of Leon which is one of my favorite names..does it mean anything specific?
Author's Response: naw... but that's funny. I got it froms my friends last name which happens to be... Leon... odd.
I was a bit confused towards the middle..but I love the dialogue at the begining..
The only thing that seemed out of place was Raeleon using the word "honey"
Please keep it up.
Author's Response: okay.... my sis said that this chapter could use some work too... do you think it's too out of place? Have any suggestions on what other endearment i should use?
Fierce..that's the only major typo I saw..
Yup, I love Raleon
Author's Response: heheha, I love realeon too. it took me forever to find his name? think it fits? anyway thanls for these lovely reviews.
I love the lullaby
Author's Response: really? i mad it up in thirty seconds....=D