when exactly did he insinuate she was a whore? I seemed to have missed that
Author's Response: Weel ya see, when i lost sopme of my chapters i had to rewrite a bunch of stuff, without going over the whole story to make everything fit again...Sorry. That was reall really really bad of me. Please forgive. In the old version Raleon got a bit more graphic and low with his accusations (?) so it did fit that he did insinuate he was awhore. But i thought that it really didn't help the plaot any to have them mad that much more at each other so i toned it down a bit. If you could you could tell what doesn't make sense to you and i'll try to get everything cleared up! A thousands Sorries!
Keep coming. i want to read more!
Author's Response: wellll, Mi computern t home is dead, so i'm at my dad's right now...it might be a while before i can update sorry! *cowers behond copy of Two TOwers*
Poor, poor, Syril, how do you lose this stuffanyway? do you need a porcline vase to throw? Here i have extras, *hands over porcline vases, plugs ears, hides under table* Go for it!
Author's Response: Thanx *takes vase and throws and stomps on pieces* *sniff* i feel better now. But i'm still mad cuz my computer is stupid, and so am i for losing my chapter. Ugh, it took a long time to re-write too.
I liked this chapter a lot, my favorite thing (the thing that was most powerful in terms of character emotion) was talking about how the hunters reminded Aragorn of the old Strider. I always thought he'd miss his life to some degree, and it gives him something to hold on to.
Also, sorry if I was somewhat harsh and snappish in the other reviews, I was just in a really pissed mood that day and...yeah. lol. ;)
Author's Response: it was no problem, really, it made me go back over every thing and change and fix a lot of things. I wanted to make Aragorn more a part of this story and hopefully i can do that. Thanx for the reviews!
Hmm...you might want to make the setting of this new scene a bit more specific. It really isn't good to jump in in the middle of a conversation, as I have no clue what is going on. Hope you update soon :)
Author's Response: okaay *runs off to do that*
I thought everyone except Naru, her grandmother, and a little boy died. How did Loel survive? Other than that, it was good.
Author's Response: All members of the immediate royal family died, and the extended family that was present at the castle.
This does not make sense: "Her grandmother was staringn at a man who had to be at least ten years older, with a stately air about and a polished teak cane in hand as he walked proudly through the courtyard. "I have to go, Damun.I think I have to sleep."
All the respnes Naru got was a distracted, "Of course, dear," before she left her grandmother to her staring."
Is Naru saying "I have to go, Damun"? or is the grandmother? Because it doesn't really make sense for her to say she has to go to sleep when she then walks out into the garden. Also, she would not say Valar. Because she opposes (or opposed) Gondor, that means she was essentially opposing the Elendili, the Faithful Ones, who followed the Valar. Those who opposed the Elendili did so because Sauron poisoned their thoughts into thinking the Valar were holding them captive in Numenor. So...yeah, she would not use Valar that way.
Author's Response: I am currently trying to find something that she would swear by, but for now it's just fate that she could blame.
This was good, a delicious conflict ending to the chapter. However, this one sentence makes no sense: "Naru, in quite a good mood, if she did say so herself, but all that abruptly fled when she saw what sat beside The King." You should say "Naru was in quite a good mood, if she did say so herself, but all that abruptly fled when she saw what sat beside The King."
Author's Response: Thanx!
I am extremely confused. The scene with Dami and Aragorn mentioned a Lord Faulk, though he never said a word in the scene. Some of the dialogue also made no sense at all. And what exactly is the cliffhanger in this chapter? I don't understand.
Author's Response: I'll try to fix this, Thanx for your opinion!
I enjoy this fic a lot, your details have a good way of entertaining the reader, but something that would add even more to it would be spelling. There were 64 typos in this chapter alone, and none of them were particularly complicated words.
Author's Response: Sorry. *cringes* i have no word on this computer and haven't got internet on mine. I will go try to fix them.
hey! great story! a bit hard to follow with spelling errors, some words have the right letters but not in the right order. other than that, keep on writing!
Author's Response: sorry, no spell check. I try to fix them later but spell is NOT my strong suit. Thank you for the review.