I like the idea of this; it's different. I'm sure I haven't seen many fics from the Haradrim's POV. Neat title, too. **Please** keep Akshamala real, and don't turn her into a Mary-Sue or superhero or anything. From that scarring ritual, I really get the sense that this is a warlike culture. I love the last paragraph, and assume the next part will explain why she's lost her freedom?
About the language issue: it works when it's in the narrative, but the direct translation is a bit bothersome to me (like in the prayer or when her mother is speaking). If I overheard someone praying in English, I would understand what they were saying. And mentioning the pelda u'eteumwa-le and biritaki in the narrative already give a sense of the foreignness of the Haradrim. A phrase worked in about what the biritaki is used for might be helpful, though.
Will there be a scene about the baby mumaks? Don't elephants need to be near water? It'll be interesting to see what you do with this.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! :) And, about the language issue: From what I have written, 95% of what they speak is in English, but is assumed to be Haradic. There are some things, however, that I have written directly in Haradic. As the story line progresses, you may understand why. And Akshamala isn't a super-hero. I hope. *wink* Thank you!