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Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/04/06 - 04:54 am Title: Memory Three: The Marriage

Ah, I feel such pity for her...Will it ever end? Or will she end her life in a more nice way? Or will he die?

Author's Response: I can't tell! :)

Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/04/06 - 04:51 am Title: Memory One, Part II: The Adoration Chants

Ah, I thought this was a bit gory, but that is instinct.

Author's Response: Yeah, it was. Its part of their culture--they are war-like and brutal. They live hard, hard lives.

Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/04/06 - 04:50 am Title: Memory One, Part I: Pelda u'Etumwa-le

Awww, I love the bit at the end about the wings.

Author's Response: Thanks. :)

Reviewer: little old me Signed [Report This]
Date: 23/04/06 - 09:37 pm Title: Memory One, Part I: Pelda u'Etumwa-le

I like the idea of this; it's different. I'm sure I haven't seen many fics from the Haradrim's POV. Neat title, too. **Please** keep Akshamala real, and don't turn her into a Mary-Sue or superhero or anything. From that scarring ritual, I really get the sense that this is a warlike culture. I love the last paragraph, and assume the next part will explain why she's lost her freedom?

About the language issue: it works when it's in the narrative, but the direct translation is a bit bothersome to me (like in the prayer or when her mother is speaking). If I overheard someone praying in English, I would understand what they were saying. And mentioning the pelda u'eteumwa-le and biritaki in the narrative already give a sense of the foreignness of the Haradrim. A phrase worked in about what the biritaki is used for might be helpful, though.

Will there be a scene about the baby mumaks? Don't elephants need to be near water? It'll be interesting to see what you do with this.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! :) And, about the language issue: From what I have written, 95% of what they speak is in English, but is assumed to be Haradic. There are some things, however, that I have written directly in Haradic. As the story line progresses, you may understand why. And Akshamala isn't a super-hero. I hope. *wink* Thank you!

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