Reviews For The Gift
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Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
aww
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:43 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Eight: A Dancing Lesson And A Make-Out Session Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
awww, so sweet!
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:38 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Seven: No Date Is Complete Without, Winning A Giant Teddy Bear? Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
aww
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:36 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Six: Even An Ass Can Break Your Heart Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
awww
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:34 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Five: A Lunch Date Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
HAha this is the funniest story i have ever read
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:32 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Four: “The Fact That He’s Hot Is NO Help” Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
aww
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:28 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Three: As You Wish Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
HA
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:25 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Two: How Does Life Suck? Let Me Count The Ways Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
THAT IS HILARIOUS!
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:23 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter One: Another One Bites The Dust Reviewer: Princess Kalen Signed
awww, sad!
Date: 08/04/06 - 10:21 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: LegolasLover87 Signed
OMG, I love this story! Please update soon! I can't wait for the next chapter!
Date: 23/03/06 - 01:22 am [Report This]
Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: keri_leigh18 Signed
please update this soon...it is a really good story
Date: 25/11/05 - 10:02 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: Tigerlily Boffin Signed
AWESOME!
Date: 21/10/05 - 08:05 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Six: Even An Ass Can Break Your Heart Reviewer: Tigerlily Boffin Signed
Hey this is awesome. Must go now, I'll read the rest later :-)
Date: 20/10/05 - 08:49 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: obsessedlotr Signed
gosh a marrige how perfect that way ahe won't need a crapy job as a teen magizine writer i wonder if people will like the book shes writing or if when shes done writing it will she write more novels? a writer is a perfect job for her that way she can travel with orlando cause what i'm getting of this they don't want to be apart EVER. i mean after all they are getting married,right? well i'm glad you got over your writers block i really like it i hope you right more soon.

Author's Response: Thanks, I was going to do more with this because I have a habit of writing LONG indepth stories but I think this one's just going to be a shortie. I'm trying to get my stuff on this one site but need to have a finished story so this ones gonna be it seeing as how I'm entirely sure what else to do with it.
Date: 07/06/05 - 12:42 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Nine: The Purpose Of The Broken Road Reviewer: XoGiggles Signed
awww *giggle* thats is sooo sweet! hehe
Date: 06/06/05 - 05:17 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter Eight: A Dancing Lesson And A Make-Out Session Reviewer: x8dramaqueen8x Signed
GAAH! Awesome! Please keep going!
Date: 17/01/05 - 12:54 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter One: Another One Bites The Dust Reviewer: oblotr Signed
I have to agree with Anais about the run on sentences, but we all do it. Sometimes when we are in our writing funks we just can not stop. I think the caps is needed for emphasis for yelling. Everyone knows that caps is used for yelling, where as italics is used to emphasize loathing or sarcasim. Your story looks really interesting, and I will probably be able to indentify with it{the cheating etc.}. Also, the little injections of authors notes really helps. It gave me insight to what you were thinking but without writing it in and dirupting the story. Keep it up!
Date: 22/10/04 - 12:46 pm [Report This]
Title: Chapter One: Another One Bites The Dust Reviewer: Anais Signed
This story seems to start out realistically enough. I have a few questions for you, however.

You might want to put some space between Author's Notes and the actual beginning of your story. Otherwise it's unclear where what ends and begins.

Strategically placed trees? That doesn't really make much sense. Is Jenine hiding from someone and these trees are "aiding" her? The definition of strategic placement is that no one would be able to see you and cause you harm in any way. You might want to rethink the phrasing.

Run on sentences. Don't be afraid of commas, they're your friends. I'm not saying to go crazy but it might work to break up a few sentences, especially in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. It'd flow a lot easier then.

Capital letters is not a good idea. We get it that the character is upset. If you want, use italics or bold font, but caps is very jarring.

Don't put in little phrases ( Okay, I lied; the doornail has several IQ points on him.) in the middle of the story. It's very distracting.

I will continue reading your story. You seem to have a good grasp on your ideas. Keep an eye on your grammar and you'll be fine.

Author's Response: There is plenty of space, it's not necessary to put more in because I start out with the character's name. "Strategically placed trees" is a way of phrasing and describing exactly how the trees are look. It's the best way I can put it to get the exact imaging I want. I'm sorry if it confuses you in some way. The word does have more meanings than being associated spying and whatnot. I appreciate the comment about the run-ons. I'll keep it in mind. The capital letters ARE a good idea, especially if you really ARE yelling. The little phrases you refer to are mearly a way to give author insight with out taking away from the story. They're a stylistic thing and if they confuse you then, I'm sorry. I'm not changing them and if you don't like them, I suggest you avoid "We Were Just Friends"; it's frought with them. I hope you do continue reading the story and it wouldn't hurt to put in some positive comments as well as "helpful hints" if you feel it necessary to continue your review. Also, it might be a good idea to rate the stories on the content more than the flaws. Believe it or not, your rating DOES have an effect on the writer's opinion of their story, ESPECIALLY if it's the first review of the story. I know there are a few minor flaws but those flaws are not terribly distracting from the story so if you could keep the the flaws AND the content of the story in mind when you rate the story itself, it'd be appreciated. Also, we're not professionals and we don't claim to be so please, try not to treat these stories as like they should be professional quality because odds are they won't be.
Date: 21/10/04 - 10:51 pm [Report This]
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