geh, I had to review again because I wasn't really constructive the first time, lmao. anyways, this is the best short thing I have read in a long time. You have a really nice sense of flow and make pictures with words without over-stuffing it. Less is more, they say. hehe.
Soo goood. *tackles you and steals your writing brain*
What! Cliffhanger? No! I like this story so far... if you update... :) just kidding. Great job! Please update soon!
Author's Response: *workin' on it* Thanks so much for your review! I hope you continue to enjoy Isum and Jovy's story.
Still liking this! Nice descriptions. I could wish the chapters were a little longer, but maybe that's just me. Now I just have to wait for your next update, because I'm wondering what river they ended up in.
Author's Response: You'll probably find out (or figure it out) in this chapter or the next. These chapters are very expository, and as we get deeper into the story the chapters will become more lengthy. Thanks!
Well, I'm hooked so far. I like how you keep reminding the reader that Charles Gregory is well-bred - it really adds to the creepiness. 'Desperately dead' really struck me as a great choice of words. Reading on...
Author's Response: *dance of thanks* :)
I would be more interested, if I could understand the charaters. Could you have translations at the bottom, perhaps?
Author's Response: Try saying the words out-loud. I've found it helps. However, I'm afraid that I will not be putting in "translations"---the language barriers is a fairly huge element in this story. :) So bear with me, and thank you. :)