Alternatively, scrap the sentence and leave it with an even more pronounced sensation of not being able to see to the bottom of the water? XD
Author's Response: Oh hell. Maybe I'll just leave it. Read the next chapter. You'll recognize something I got from you!
Love the quirky tailor and the line: "These clothes belong to Glorfindel and Im afraid Im stretching them in all the wrong places." That just cracked me up so much. XD
I have a question about this sentence: "Only the Valar know how your story will end." I thought not even the Valar knew what was certain in the future. Only Eru knew... and maybe a very few select Valar who rarely shared their knowledge... (?_?) It'd be like saying: "Hey, you knew all these people were going to die, you knew how to warn them, and you did nothing to stop it?" ^^;
Author's Response: Legolas lightens up considerably in the next chapter. I feel the same way about him that you do about Glorfindel. I couldn't stand for him to be mad at her. There will be another nasty twist that will leave her and Galadriel at odds with Elrond, Gandalf, Erestor, Aragorn and Legolas. But that will be a couple of chapters from now.
Glorfindel will show up again soon; I know you'll like that.
As for the Valar, a lot of people have the same complaint about God. You're probably right about them, though. It sounded good when I worte it. Maybe he was referring to where her f√É∆í√ā¬ęa will end up? I don't know. The characters often say things I don't understand. Should I change it to "Only Eru knows how your story will end"?
Hehe. I understand. You take as long as you need... and be comfy... and I'll just stay at the door... waiting, hoping... knitting my cat claws into the woodwork. *scratch scratch* Aha!
*is hyper at the moment, by the way ;)*
Author's Response: It's good to be hyper. I'm writing right now. She's at the tailor and Legolas and his party are about to arrive in Rivendell. I can't wait to see how this turns out! I'm about as hyper as you are.
I think you're portraying Erestor excellently. You know, I've never held him as one of my favourite elvish characters, but I think you've made me fall for him hard. Oh, and Gimli too.
And she's wearing Glorfindel's clothes... courtesy of Erestor! I loved the fact that you didn't let us see into his bedroom. Mwahaha! It heightened the fangirl delight in me. XD
Author's Response: GREAT! I was a little nervous about that one, I had to stop and start a lot.
Actually, I AM more relaxed, both in my writing and in my life. I'm getting a lot of things organized and my daily mission always calms down in the Fall.
I'm going to have to start work on a "stylesheet" before I get too much further into the story. A stylesheet is basically a list of characters with their major characteristics, it keeps an author from accidentally changing the spelling of a word or name or someone's eye color.
I'm glad you are enjoying my portrayal of the characters. It's kind hard because they are smarter than I am most of the time. 8-)
Author's Response: It's no problem. It never hurts to help!
Upload the image you want using the technique I described before:
When you log on, in the navigate box go to "Account Info"
On the User Account page click the link to "Manage Images"
You can upload an image from your computer by clicking on "Upload New Image" It has to be 200 pixels by 200 pixels or less (I think).
After the image is successfully uploaded, the html code for your image will be provided by the site.
Just cut and paste that code into your "bio" box.
There is an "image" box on the account info page, but I can't seem to get it to work, so I just pasted the image html code directy into the bio box.
Author's Response: I appreciate it. The following is quoted from http://www.omniglot.com/writing/tengwar.htm :
"J.R.R. Tolkien created many languages throughout his life. He wrote in one of his letters that the tales of Middle-earth (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, etc) grew from these languages, rather than the languages being created for use in the stories.
Tolkien also created a number of different alphabets to write his languages - Tengwar, or Feanorian letters, is the one which appears most frequently in his work. The way the vowels are indicated in Tengwar resembles Tibetan and other Brahmi-derived scripts.
[Tengwar can be] Used to write a number of different languages of Middle-Earth, such as:
Quenya, Qenya or High-Elven, the most prominent language of the Amanya branch of the Elvish language family. Tolkien compiled the "Qenya Lexicon", his first list of Elvish words, in 1915 at the age of 23 and continued to refine the language throughout his life. It is based mainly on Finnish, but also partly on Greek and partly on Latin.
Sindarin, the language of the Grey-elves or Sindar. Tolkien based Sindarin on Welsh and originally called it gnomish.
Sylvan, Westron, etc
Tengwar can also be used to write English, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, Swedish, Polish, Esperanto [another invented language] and a variety of other languages."
As with ancient latin, when a word that is not found in the original texts is required, one can use the original grammatical rules to create new "modernized" words. I'm not saying that I did so, as I said, I'm not a linguist, but barring actually researching the original Qenya Lexicon, I have to go with what I can find. Is there a reason you believe "Councilof Elrond" to be more accurate than "TheGreyCompany"? I would very much like to know why.
Finally, I am definitely interested in your perspective, but please refrain from referring to other writers's styles negatively in my review section. It is neither informative, nor helpful.
I really don't mean to be rude, but I don't want a story, probably one of the best Girl-goes-to-ME stories I've seen, to become as low as those try-hard Mary-Sue tales I've read.
Keep up the great work! And methinks the berries have something to do with nose bleeds... :D
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. You have not gotten yet to Chapter nine. This is my explanation in the author's notes of that chapter: "Please note the Elvish phrases are translated at the end of the chapter. Although its likely most elves in this time period converse in Sindarin, Tolkien did not provide a great deal of Sindarin words in his writings. [most of the Elvish in The Silmarillion is Quenya] The Elvish I use is from various websites and has been expanded upon with Quenya and there may be terms from the movies, videogames and other fantasy sources. I do not claim accuracy; its just a story after all."
There is even controversy among scholars of Elvish as to whether "thank you" should be written hannon le or le hannon. Unfortunately, I am not a linguist as Professor Tolkien was. I am just an old soldier who writes fanfiction.
Perhaps I should have put this disclaimer in earlier. Check out the website, cited at the end of the chapter, that's where I'm getting most of the Elvish phrases from. In addition, there are probably as many ways to ask forgiveness in Elvish as there are in English.
I'm glad you are enjoying the story for the most part, the mystery of the berries will be revealed. Keep reading! 8-)
Author's Response: Oh, and please let me know if you run across anything else that is inconsistent. I welcome ALL forms of feedback.
I'm not sweet. I'm just talking the truth. You don't think enough of yourself, which is extremely endearing... XD
Author's Response: I'm a bit of a realist; it kind of clashes with my ability to write fantasy. The feedback I'm getting is helping me to keep my character's feet on the ground. The hardest part is writing dialog for characters like Erestor who are so much smarter than I am. Sometimes I have no idea what they are going to say until they say it.
Just so you know, Glorfindel will be coming back into the story. When Aragorn and the hobbits arrive, I won't forget about him.
Oo, there's a tiny peeve of mine cropped up. That reference to Legolas beating Gimli at drinking in the films. In 'The Hobbit', the elves get drunk and fall asleep...
Anyway, quibbles aside... more importantly, I loved it. It cracked me up, made me hang on every word, everything... and I love your depiction of Gimli and 'my dog ate it'... and... awesome first aid class description. Yes. *claps*
favourite line: 'and it took all I could do to keep my mind on the task' I bet it did! I fangirled all over the place just at your mention of mouth-to-mouth with an elf. *laughs*
Author's Response: You're sweet Susan. Thanks. I think you got to that last chapter before I had a chance to proofread it. I always reread them several times before posting, then I still catch a few things after.
BTW, the elves in The Hobbit were drinking a very strong wine, the king's own stash if I recall. It could possibly have even been miruvor. The ale of Rohan may not be nearly as strong.
Glad you are enjoying it. I'm almost back to where I left off the first time through. I'm excited, I've been waiting to see what happens next. I begin writing new stuff right after the training with Gimli. Wish me luck!
Author's Response: Crap! Guess I should proofread my responses better too!
Author's Response: Hope that worked. Otherwise I'll never get rid of the bold text.
I usually put titles in just italics... but I guess that might confuse them with the thought and in-elvish sections. Maybe not, though... For your information, I had no problem discerning between thought and in-elvish. Ulp, I'm babbling and possibly making you stress. Sorry.
Author's Response: Hey, ALL feedback is appreciated. Even though I'm really bad about comma splices I try to keep things as grammatically sound as possible. It's a pet peeve of mine when I read a story and get hung up on a misspelling or a typo and have to reread something to understand it. I'm glad the italics aren't confusing. I had to denote thoughts somehow. Foriegn words are usually in italics in literature, too. Without underlining (which as you said is particular to links) bold text was the only way to go for book and movie titles. Glad you are enjoying the story. I'm almost becoming obsessed with it, myself.
Author's Response: Glad to hear it. Much of what I write is fairly accurate, but I'd rather not have lawyers tracking me down, you know?
Author's Response: Thank you! A lot of the herblore and especially the dandelions came directly from a conversation I had with my mother. You would not believe how much feedback I'm getting and how much it helps!
Author's Response: When you log on, in the navigate box go to "Account Info" On the User Account page click the link to "Manage Images" You can upload an image from your computer by clicking on "Upload New Image" It has to be 200 pixels by 200 pixels or less (I think). After the image is successfully uploaded the html code for your image will be provided by the site. Just cut and paste that code into your story (or summary) anywhere. Good Luck and thanks for the review!
I love the flippancy in her thoughts. Made me giggle a few times re references to Elrond, e.g. 'asap', 'just like a doctor...' sections.
One quibble re the formatting: when you underline words, I always wonder if it's a link and sometimes move my mouse to hover over it. Have you considered presenting those titles in a different format?
Loved the chapter; am looking forward excitedly to more!
Author's Response: Great! Thanks! I love the feedback and I don't mind criticism. I took your advice about the underlining and changed it to bold text. Does that work better?
Another happy chapter for the Mary-Sue. Glad to read that her sunburn is fading away.
As always, I loved it and am very much looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for a lovely read (and being prompt in your response to my comments; I appreciate it)!
Author's Response: Got a soft spot for Glorfindel, do you? I felt a little stilted writing that chapter, but today I reread it and I'm pretty happy with it. We've got a typhoon blowing here, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to write again tonight. I've got some ideas about my heroine's meeting with Lindir and I'll probably take some time to describe the Last Homely House in the next chapter as well. Thanks for the feedback!
I want an elf to eat one of those berries.
Author's Response: Things are definitely looking up for her. I believe things will stay good, at least until she leaves Rivendell . . . but that's for later. Thanks for your support, when I get stumped, the reviews really get me going again.
Good to see an elf being genuinely friendly and kind towards her (or at least not laughing at her in her presence).
Again, wonderful work.
Author's Response: In the elves' defense, she is a filthy stray human. A stranger in bad times and she has secrets. Besides, when you find out what the berries are, you'll know why the elves were laughing.
Sexy berries? Is that it?
Author's Response: You're getting very warm. Not to worry, Bilbo will finally tell her what they are in Chapter 10.
Author's Response: I hope I'm not building it up too much, but I've figured out what the berries are. You'll just have to wait another couple of chapters to find out.
Author's Response: Hey! A new reader! Thanks for the support. I have to stop myself every now and then because my character gets too serious and starts talking like the elves, you know, too proper. I step back and re-write it until she comes back to earth.
Author's Response: Thanks! It should start getting really interesting now. Is anyone wondering what's with those berries? I sure am!