I loved the poem at the end! This is fantastic, poor Frodo, I liked the way you compare your story characters with the movie characters. I look forward to reading the next chapter!
Author's Response: I kinda felt like I forced that. It's one of my favorites, I had to get it in somehow. I can't seem to pin Aragorn down. He's always been a mystery to me.
Mwaha! Legolas wrote her a poem! (*_*) Hehe. And Glorfindel's back! *squees* I enjoyed this chapter, though nothing really stood out in particular to me (it struck me as a sort of plateau). I like the fact that she's getting tempted by the ring (good understated dash of something very dark) and that she's battling PMS. ;) Am looking very much forward to the next chapter.
I missed the glossary. What does "Tenna' ento lye omenta" mean?
Author's Response: Whoops. I knew I forgot something. It means "Until next we meet." I'm using some elvish that isn't original Tolkien. I'm getting it from several websites.
A natural plateau. The calm before the storm, I guess. It just felt natural. Thanks for reading!
Yay! Another great chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks! Don't you wish there were this kind of correspondence to read from Tolkien when he was writing? I get a lot out of these reviews and have integrated a lot of ideas from here into the story.
Oh no! I came to the end of the chapters so far! i just hate waiting! But this will be well worth the wait! I look forward to reading more! This is a brilliant story, as I have said before one of the better ones! I am thoroughly enjoying it! please, update soon!
Author's Response: I haven't started Chapter 19 yet. I know where I'm going with it, but I'm not sure how to write it. Glad you're having a good time!
I really think Bilbo is a great character, no wonder why she wants to spend time with him! He is a funny little man!
Author's Response: Thanks. Despite my personla feelings for Legolas, Gimli and Bilbo have always been my favorite characters. I can find myself in them.
Oh boy did this chapter have me laughing! i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes! This is just great, you are a genius, this is one of the best stories I have read in a while! I'm really enjoying it!
Author's Response: Great! I'm working on Chapter 18 now.
Just a quick note to say how much I am enjoying reading this, it really is great, I love the way the character thinks, she makes me laugh! I'm already itching to read the next chapter!
Author's Response: A special thank you to a new reader! I love the feedback. Enjoy!
I want you to know that I love the tact you displayed by making Legolas reproachful of her. The reaction was honest and shocking..I'm used to expecting the typical "mary sue" instant acceptance/ love thing.
I love your story so far.
Author's Response: Thanks! You may not like the next chapter too much. I couldn't resist. However, don't worry, she's going to be too busy for the next few days for anything else to happen and by the time the Council comes up, there won't be a male in Rivendell who would want to cross her path.
WHOA! *hands over heart* Seriously, now I know one reason why I tend not to go out of my way to read or write Mary-Sue stories although I really have nothing against them and I usually enjoy them very much. Wowie! It was like suffocating in your fic... suffocating in my fan girl daze. XDXDXD And you know, your 'the end' was perfectly placed at the bottom of my window when I noticed it. I almost had a heart attack! You cruel woman! *laughs* I love you!
Which bit did you get from me? I'm afraid I didn't pick it up. Gomen. ^^; The Legolas getting a little bit tipsy and happy to kiss you? Man, I half thought you were going to turn him into a womanizer (a twist that I don't think I'd mind at all - XD), but I really like how you showed him. I always saw book Legolas as more of a hyperactive, mischievous, well-intentioned child and your portrayal fit very nicely into my own perception of him. Oh, his sweet tooth! *suddenly wonders if he has any dental problems*
By the way, I forgot to note down that I like your pet name for the cat. Within moments of reading that name in chapter sixteen, I dragged my T.S. Eliot book off the shelf. "Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Half-Elf's spy--
For he's Lord Elrond's favourite pet who can mislead the eye.
He's the bafflement of Elrond's guests, and secrecy's despair:
For when there is a mystery--Macavity's always there." Hehe. See what you make me write. Anyway... (^_~) I loved this chapter, even if I felt as if I was about to fall very sick from some kind of overdose on something very fannish. XDXDXD I look forward excitedly to more... and more... and more... (hopefully!). Wonderful work! (^_^)/
Author's Response: I was hoping "The end" would get someone! LOL!
It was the discussion we [you and I] had about the wine that prompted the discussion about the wine between Elaura and Legolas. Glad you like him. I always thought of him as a bit of a big kid, too.
Your poem is GREAT! Just like Macavity. Don't worry about getting another overdose of Mary-Sue, though. By the time Frodo wakes up, things are going to change for the worse for our heroine.
Hm. I think that "Only Eru knows how your story will end" is better than "Only the Valar know how your story will end." Maybe write something similar to what Gandalf says in the movie to Frodo: "For not even the wise can see all ends." At least then you can lean on the movie script for justification. XD *can't remember whether a similar line is in the books*
Alternatively, scrap the sentence and leave it with an even more pronounced sensation of not being able to see to the bottom of the water? XD
Author's Response: Oh hell. Maybe I'll just leave it. Read the next chapter. You'll recognize something I got from you!
Loved it, as always, and have stabbed my pen through the top layer of my desk and am still stabbing impatiently XDXDXD. I'm delighted at the sudden and very nasty twist. I expected it, from reading the title and deducing what she'd said in the previous chapter, but it still affected me. Hey, this whole story is affecting me. XD
Love the quirky tailor and the line: "These clothes belong to Glorfindel and Im afraid Im stretching them in all the wrong places." That just cracked me up so much. XD
I have a question about this sentence: "Only the Valar know how your story will end." I thought not even the Valar knew what was certain in the future. Only Eru knew... and maybe a very few select Valar who rarely shared their knowledge... (?_?) It'd be like saying: "Hey, you knew all these people were going to die, you knew how to warn them, and you did nothing to stop it?" ^^;
Author's Response: Legolas lightens up considerably in the next chapter. I feel the same way about him that you do about Glorfindel. I couldn't stand for him to be mad at her. There will be another nasty twist that will leave her and Galadriel at odds with Elrond, Gandalf, Erestor, Aragorn and Legolas. But that will be a couple of chapters from now.
Glorfindel will show up again soon; I know you'll like that.
As for the Valar, a lot of people have the same complaint about God. You're probably right about them, though. It sounded good when I worte it. Maybe he was referring to where her fÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â«a will end up? I don't know. The characters often say things I don't understand. Should I change it to "Only Eru knows how your story will end"?
Wha...? Have to slow down to make a stylesheet for characters? Noo! *stabstabstabs desk impatiently with pens* Hurry up! Hurry up! No time to lose! ("(.:...:.)/") RAWR!
Hehe. I understand. You take as long as you need... and be comfy... and I'll just stay at the door... waiting, hoping... knitting my cat claws into the woodwork. *scratch scratch* Aha!
*is hyper at the moment, by the way ;)*
Author's Response: It's good to be hyper. I'm writing right now. She's at the tailor and Legolas and his party are about to arrive in Rivendell. I can't wait to see how this turns out! I'm about as hyper as you are.
Okay, now this is seriously my all new favourite chapter. Awww. I squeed so much over it... and the story is flowing so well! Maybe it's just me, but I feel as if you've kind of relaxed. It flowed really beautifully in this chapter, anyway... and I think I'm running out of novel compliments. *needs a thesaurus* XDXDXD
I think you're portraying Erestor excellently. You know, I've never held him as one of my favourite elvish characters, but I think you've made me fall for him hard. Oh, and Gimli too.
And she's wearing Glorfindel's clothes... courtesy of Erestor! I loved the fact that you didn't let us see into his bedroom. Mwahaha! It heightened the fangirl delight in me. XD
Author's Response: GREAT! I was a little nervous about that one, I had to stop and start a lot.
Actually, I AM more relaxed, both in my writing and in my life. I'm getting a lot of things organized and my daily mission always calms down in the Fall.
I'm going to have to start work on a "stylesheet" before I get too much further into the story. A stylesheet is basically a list of characters with their major characteristics, it keeps an author from accidentally changing the spelling of a word or name or someone's eye color.
I'm glad you are enjoying my portrayal of the characters. It's kind hard because they are smarter than I am most of the time. 8-)
hey sorry to bother you again. But I wanted to get a picture up on my account bio and i don't know how. Do you? Soz if I'm botherin ya! :-) xx
Author's Response: It's no problem. It never hurts to help!
Upload the image you want using the technique I described before:
When you log on, in the navigate box go to "Account Info"
On the User Account page click the link to "Manage Images"
You can upload an image from your computer by clicking on "Upload New Image" It has to be 200 pixels by 200 pixels or less (I think).
After the image is successfully uploaded, the html code for your image will be provided by the site.
Just cut and paste that code into your "bio" box.
There is an "image" box on the account info page, but I can't seem to get it to work, so I just pasted the image html code directy into the bio box.
A good site for proper Tolkien Elvish would be CouncilofElrond. Arwen-Undomiel tends to use what us Tolkien fans call "Grelvish", its not actualy Elvish, but rather a mix of poorly made Sindarin and Quenya, modern languages and jibberish. Again, I really don't mean to be rude, I just want to help!
Author's Response: I appreciate it. The following is quoted from http://www.omniglot.com/writing/tengwar.htm :
"J.R.R. Tolkien created many languages throughout his life. He wrote in one of his letters that the tales of Middle-earth (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, etc) grew from these languages, rather than the languages being created for use in the stories.
Tolkien also created a number of different alphabets to write his languages - Tengwar, or Feanorian letters, is the one which appears most frequently in his work. The way the vowels are indicated in Tengwar resembles Tibetan and other Brahmi-derived scripts.
[Tengwar can be] Used to write a number of different languages of Middle-Earth, such as:
Quenya, Qenya or High-Elven, the most prominent language of the Amanya branch of the Elvish language family. Tolkien compiled the "Qenya Lexicon", his first list of Elvish words, in 1915 at the age of 23 and continued to refine the language throughout his life. It is based mainly on Finnish, but also partly on Greek and partly on Latin.
Sindarin, the language of the Grey-elves or Sindar. Tolkien based Sindarin on Welsh and originally called it gnomish.
Sylvan, Westron, etc
Tengwar can also be used to write English, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, Swedish, Polish, Esperanto [another invented language] and a variety of other languages."
As with ancient latin, when a word that is not found in the original texts is required, one can use the original grammatical rules to create new "modernized" words. I'm not saying that I did so, as I said, I'm not a linguist, but barring actually researching the original Qenya Lexicon, I have to go with what I can find. Is there a reason you believe "Councilof Elrond" to be more accurate than "TheGreyCompany"? I would very much like to know why.
Finally, I am definitely interested in your perspective, but please refrain from referring to other writers's styles negatively in my review section. It is neither informative, nor helpful.
I don't think the phrase "Amin hiraetha" is proper Tolkien Elvish. That and I'm fairly sure there is no wording that means exactly the same as "I'm sorry", the closest to that is "Goheno nin" which means "forgive me".
I really don't mean to be rude, but I don't want a story, probably one of the best Girl-goes-to-ME stories I've seen, to become as low as those try-hard Mary-Sue tales I've read.
Keep up the great work! And methinks the berries have something to do with nose bleeds... :D
Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. You have not gotten yet to Chapter nine. This is my explanation in the author's notes of that chapter: "Please note the Elvish phrases are translated at the end of the chapter. Although its likely most elves in this time period converse in Sindarin, Tolkien did not provide a great deal of Sindarin words in his writings. [most of the Elvish in The Silmarillion is Quenya] The Elvish I use is from various websites and has been expanded upon with Quenya and there may be terms from the movies, videogames and other fantasy sources. I do not claim accuracy; its just a story after all."
There is even controversy among scholars of Elvish as to whether "thank you" should be written hannon le or le hannon. Unfortunately, I am not a linguist as Professor Tolkien was. I am just an old soldier who writes fanfiction.
Perhaps I should have put this disclaimer in earlier. Check out the website, cited at the end of the chapter, that's where I'm getting most of the Elvish phrases from. In addition, there are probably as many ways to ask forgiveness in Elvish as there are in English.
I'm glad you are enjoying the story for the most part, the mystery of the berries will be revealed. Keep reading! 8-)
Author's Response: Oh, and please let me know if you run across anything else that is inconsistent. I welcome ALL forms of feedback.
Well argued. *nods and takes it off peeve list* XD
I'm not sweet. I'm just talking the truth. You don't think enough of yourself, which is extremely endearing... XD
Author's Response: I'm a bit of a realist; it kind of clashes with my ability to write fantasy. The feedback I'm getting is helping me to keep my character's feet on the ground. The hardest part is writing dialog for characters like Erestor who are so much smarter than I am. Sometimes I have no idea what they are going to say until they say it.
Just so you know, Glorfindel will be coming back into the story. When Aragorn and the hobbits arrive, I won't forget about him.
*visits your myspace page* What do you mean, you're not pretty! Huh? Even with a swollen nose, I think you're very pretty. XD
Oo, there's a tiny peeve of mine cropped up. That reference to Legolas beating Gimli at drinking in the films. In 'The Hobbit', the elves get drunk and fall asleep...
Anyway, quibbles aside... more importantly, I loved it. It cracked me up, made me hang on every word, everything... and I love your depiction of Gimli and 'my dog ate it'... and... awesome first aid class description. Yes. *claps*
favourite line: 'and it took all I could do to keep my mind on the task' I bet it did! I fangirled all over the place just at your mention of mouth-to-mouth with an elf. *laughs*
Author's Response: You're sweet Susan. Thanks. I think you got to that last chapter before I had a chance to proofread it. I always reread them several times before posting, then I still catch a few things after.
BTW, the elves in The Hobbit were drinking a very strong wine, the king's own stash if I recall. It could possibly have even been miruvor. The ale of Rohan may not be nearly as strong.
Glad you are enjoying it. I'm almost back to where I left off the first time through. I'm excited, I've been waiting to see what happens next. I begin writing new stuff right after the training with Gimli. Wish me luck!
Author's Response: Crap! Guess I should proofread my responses better too!
Author's Response: Hope that worked. Otherwise I'll never get rid of the bold text.