I really liked it! I loved the idea. It was really powerful.

I did notice a few typos and spelling mistakes, I think it would flow better if you fixed those. Aside from that, it was great. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanx! in the one i had posted before, everything had been fixed. I'll be sure to go over it when i can!

Author's Response: Thanx! in the one i had posted before, everything had been fixed. I'll be sure to go over it when i can!