That was funny! I actually like Disney, though. To me, it's very sweet, and I love Beauty and the Beast.
That said, I do have nightmares of what they'd do if they did LOTR, Les Miserables, or Phantom of the Opera. LotR would basically be like what you just wrote. In Phantom, they'd turn Erik's deep character into one of those cliche villains, or worse, pull a Phangirl and make RAOUL the evil one and Erik Mr. Nice Fluffy Not-insane Not-Creepy Not-Dangerous-at-all. Ugh. And Les Mis...they'd make Javert evil, and give Valjean and Cosette a singing kitty, and they'd probably put Eponine and Enjorlas together, and make the Les Amis win. GAH!
Hmmm....maybe I should write a fic like this for Phantom of the Opera.
Author's Response: I'd definitely read it. You're probably right about what they'd do to it and Les Mis: poor Javert would be evil, Marius would be a brave, strong warrior and not the rather wimpy little bourgeois boy he was in the book, Valjean couldn't be a convict, because that's a bad influence on little kids...ugh.rnrnI like most of the old Disney movies that I remember from childhood: "Beauty and the Beast," "The Lion King," "Aladdin," "101 Dalmatians," "The Little Mermaid." However, I agree that Disney needs to stay away from the classic novels ("Hunchback of Notre Dame," anyone?) and the mythology (look at what they did to Greek mythology in "Hercules"!).
LOL what a surprise ending!I laughed but am very glad Tolkien had other ideas!
Author's Response: Definitely. Very squicky ending as well...fortunately, I'm pretty sure Tolkien stated in a letter that he hated the Disney Company and definitely didn't want them getting their hands on his work.
Author's Response: Thank you!
That song does sound very Disneyish.
I hope poor Treebeard doesn't get foot-rot or some kind of disease from stepping on cheesy, wormy-tongued Grima...
Author's Response: I rather think the worm in his mouth will turn out to be a cute, happy little creature who was ruthlessly enslaved to Grima, and now that he's out, he'll cling to Treebeard's roots and then make a nice, new home in the soil of Fangorn...*gag*
I suppose it could be worse - Eddie Murphy could be voicing Bill the Pony instead of Gimli.
I think poor Celeborn must have gone off on the Quest To Find Peter Jackson.
Author's Response: I agree that would be MUCH worse--the very idea of Bill the Pony TALKING is horrific. I actually think Celeborn would be quite thankful that he wasn't in this cartoon--in fact, was there even a Celeborn in the Bakshi cartoon? I haven't seen it, but I seem to remember someone saying there wasn't.
Actually, I can see Robin Williams voicing Tom Bombadil. But Robin Williams as Aragorn...Arrrggghhhh!
I'm trying not to think about the garbled Elvish.
So fiendish it's making me laugh.
Author's Response: Oh, Lord, Robin Williams as Tom Bombadil...it would work better than him voicing Aragorn, but I can imagine how zany it would be. Whereas the Bombadil of the book was just nutty and eccentric, a Robin-Williams Bombadil would be utterly crazy and wild.rn
rnHey, at least the "Elvish" is a nice change from all the Grelvish used in Suefics.
Oh, the horror!
And yet, it could be worse. I shall surely have nightmares considering the thought of Robin Williams voicing Gandalf.
You are entirely too fiendish!
Author's Response: Thanks; I take that as a compliment. I actually take a kind of pleasure in shocking people, and part of the attraction of writing this parody was the shock and horror everyone with a vivid imagination would have after reading it.
Ha! You've made me laugh helplessly even though I actually love most Disney movies - they're utterly ridiculous, but in a nostalgic way. You've hit all the Disney cliches head-on in the most cringe-inducing way possible. It's a twisted sort of genius.
Author's Response: Yeah; Disney, despite my nostalgia for their cartoons, has put so many cliches in them that they're easy to predict whenever they come up with something new--WHEN they actually come up with something new, that is, instead of all those dumb sequels.
After this some awkward decisions made by Peter Jackson seem to be flashes of genius. This is very funny, though it's even too accurate. It is sure as an amen in a church that Disney version would have been like this, or even worse. The crowning of Frodo was a complete surprise (shouldn't have been, obviously it is too long a time since I last saw a Disney movie). And to think that I loved Disney films as a child... Well, at least I have always hated the songs. Excellent parody, this one.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm just happy Disney didn't get a hold of Lord of the Rings; I'm not sure if it would have been like this, but it sure as hell would have been nightmarish.
For some reason I'm having a hard time finding this funny, although I do appreciate the effort that you put into it and I think it is very well written with rich fantasy and even though I usually enjoy LotR based humor. I just think it's not my cup of tea, but that happens. It caught my eyes simply because I agree to the bits with the statement that it all could have been much worse. =;)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. If you have any suggestions for improvement, though, don't hesitate to send them to me.
Hits the nail on the head with extreme accuracy and force.
I cannot stand Disney, hated it when I was a child, even. You've just reminded me why; the thought of Disney ever demolishing Tolkien like this caused a moment of murderous rage. Brilliant as always. * Imagines lowering Disney wholesale into the depths of Orodruin; in metal cages; very slowly. *
Hah, stuff you Disney-Sauron-with-Jeremy-Irons-voice, my dog could out-evil you and he's a complete wuss.
Author's Response: You hit the nail on the head with your review. Nice.
This was SOOOO horribly GOOD!
Yep! LOTR was NEVER meant for children (much less for Disney).
Thank God Disney never approached Tolkien for rights to the books...
UGHHH!!! I shudder to think of it...
Author's Response: So do I. I think Tolkien once wrote in a letter that he hated Disney, so he wouldn't have let the company have the books anyway.