Interesting, you could use a little spell-check, but lright otherwise. A bit of advice, try tomake your characters more personalable to the reader. Make them WANT to read. Wecome to LOTR fanfiction, I wish you many long stories and a merry Christmas!
Author's Response: Thanks- that's really helpful advice. I definitely agree with what you said about my characters; one of my biggest worries is that they're not very personable or relatable (I think I'm making up a word there...) On the other hand, I like each character having a title. (i.e. "The Slave" being Rana's title) I think it gives each character a fixed place in the story, and an added element of fate, that the story is being told by someone or controlled by someone (the king?) Sorry, I don't think any of that made sense to anybody but me :) I really need to go to sleep. Anyway, thanks for the review!
Wow! This is a fantastic first story. Welcome to the site. I'm Sarah-Kate but you can just call me Saz.
Your story was very well written. Keep up the good work! xxxx
Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate the welcome- I'm loving this site so far. Merry Christmas! :)